*standing applause* You need some editing, but you took me back unnumbered years, and for a moment I was a child again and fragile. Very very well written in undertone and semi-Freudian theme.
Very good, I don't believe in editing another writer's work, but I will give some advise. Don't worry about rhyme attempt freehanded prose, and edit down. Once you have the idea of a poem you can make it flow much easier. I loved someone with blue eyes a long time ago, and "My blue eyes cry cascading crystals " very very touching theme and imagery.
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