This intensely personal account of your deep friendship with the bison is very moving and reminds of the deep bonds that can develop between humans and animals. I have often said that animals are closer to their wisdom than humans. Man's extreme brain power sometimes causes him to think he is the greatest thing that ever lived. Animals often see through this self-deception because they are not caught up in it. This in a very inspiring story that deserves to be published somewhere..
The 4.5 rating is due to grammatical and syntax mistakes. I can point them out to you if you like, but I do not have the time to do it right now.
Keep telling your stories. You might be able to compile a series of them and publish them in a book about animals.
Even consider a version for young people! Kids need to learn and appreciate the animal kingdom in the way you have!
I love the message of your poem and the light manner in which you express it. We have just gone through a contentious presidential election here in the USA. It is a struggle to know who is more right, who is more wrong, who is good, who is less good. Your words are a poignant reminder not to let personal opinions and judgements blind us to the good or the bad in people. We always must strive for more accurate sight, more precise understanding and we must have versatile enough minds to be able to discern when someone is striving for wisdom and support him/her in that striving. It is not possible to live without making judgments, but always we must consider that our judgments may be flawed and also that those we judge may change so that our former judgments no longer apply.
I am not the best one to tell another how to write his poem. As far as message goes this poems stands well as is, but there might be ways to improve the rhythm.
Who is true and who is false?
Who is real, who is fake?
In judging people we may
Often commit a mistake.
could read
Who is true and who is false?
Who is real, who is fake.
In judging people we often may
Commit a bad mistake.
I don't know if that colors the meaning you wish to convey in a way you do not wish, but it does balnce the rhythm a bit..
I never read this Ogden Nash poem, but I like it and I like the way you expand on it.
A thoughtful reflection on lying. Lies are certainly not always black and white. Clever liars can make a lie seem like the truth. Those are the ones to watch out for. It is the lie you cannot see that is the most dangerous.
Thanks for sharing this. It made my wheels turn.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wisdomstruggle
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 9:59am on Dec 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
