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Review of The Lakefront  Open in new Window.
Review by Willow Bali Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Apologizing Adolescent,

I'm Willow, a newbie here and fairly new to reviewing, but I hope you'll find my comments helpful.

What I love about this poem:
Some interesting internal rhyme in these lines: "The wind blows in my face, lifting my hair
Its cold touch embracing me" (face/embrace.) I think it makes for an interesting flow when read aloud. I felt a similar feel in "sun is setting, descending". Very nice.

I don't see any typos or other issues, but there are a few things I'm curious about.
1. I wonder why some people look away or stare. It almost seems like you're about to tell the reader about that, but you don't.

2. The stanzas are odd to me, but I've mostly written nonfiction in my life. Is this style (2, 3, 2, 3, 3, 3, 5, 5, 7) something I should know about or just your personal choice for this poem?

Overall, I enjoyed reading this. I reminded me of a lakefront I've visited many times and walked alone among other people on a breezy day at sunset. Thanks for bringing me those memories!
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Review by Willow Bali Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
As a Francophile, I absolutely love this story! Thank you for sharing! Your descriptions of the characters are so vivid! I did notice a little typo here: Nevertheless Flaubert's swing still connected sufficiently to lift the thief clean of his feet. (Should be clean *off*, I think.) Great work. I hope there's more to read later!
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