~WhoMe???~'s (whome) Reviews

~WhoMe???~

Review Requests: OFF

4,509 Public Reviews Given

4,699 Total Reviews Given

276

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3745749

Review of "CHICKEN COYOTE," ANYONE?

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Dear DRSmith

,

Review #1 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

How did I come across your piece?

When receiving your correspondence, I simply had to come investigate your port to see what is new. I hadn't been around in a while, with the exception of snooping to make sure your membership status was still active and running well.

I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

STATIC

"CHICKEN COYOTE," ANYONE?

(13+)
With humorous intent, a sportive poke at the "odd" review
#1808219 by DRSmith

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

Having read this bit by bit as other reviews were received, I found it odd that I hadn't stopped in and given a review for it yet. With so many responses, one can't help but laugh at the varied comments you can get on an item.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

I wasn't sure if the main character would be the different reviewers, or your very colorful and comedic responses. I hope that the raters or reviewers, get to see your responses as well as us who read this. I simply laugh every time I come across this piece. Your commentary on what they have to say not only makes sense, is logical, but seems to me as all appropriate in each case.

Thoughts on any conflict and / or resolution:

The conflict would be each varied review, and the resolution would be your retort. I think my favorite one was the overwhelming excited reviewer who loved the piece and was going to leave a great rating, a single

...what a contradiction. Perhaps, they thought that meant #1, as in the best of the best...

Thoughts on the ending:

I thought the ending pretty much summed up the piece. It delivered a great image and had me laughing out loud, startling the dog laying at my feet.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

This is well written. I didn't notice any spelling, typing, or grammatical errors. The layout of each incident was easy to distinguish one from another and keep each piece in perspective. The boldness kept it easy to see which was the review and which was the retort.

My overall thoughts:

Overall, I simply appreciate a great laugh. Coming back each time to read as they come in puts a smile on my face and I enjoy the entertainment. Thank you for including me in the fun.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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277

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#3744018

Review of Welcome to my portfolio ~ Please read.

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hello ~ Santa Sisco ~

This is review one of six for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

This is the first of three reviews won by you in Kasia's Birthday bash. Along with those reviews, there will be a merit badge and awardicon. Sit back and enjoy the spoiling.

With the expansion of your bio, we get another, more in-depth, look into who you are and what you like to do. We discover on this journey, your love for poetry and writing. You have some grand ambitions listed.

Investigating each link, I found that they all link back to your main blog. Too many blogs can become complicated, I would suggest sticking with the one.

There are some great images used. They brighten up the page and aren't used in excess.

The invitation to join your groups is clear and welcoming.
Overall, this is a well written page.
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278

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#3740303

Review of Dark Scribe

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Dear ~ Santa Sisco ~

,

This is review #3 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

A dark and emotionally draining poem, this piece reflects the colors of the image through the dank depths of despair as depression drags you under. Two rhyming couplets combine to declare the quatrain verse.

I was able to follow the poem really well. The subject was clear and concise with no strain or rhyme offset. Reading this was to experience it. I felt the heavy pull of emotions as the chains bound me in darkness, only to life with the last two words.

I did notice one type error, and that was in the fourth verse, the wrong use of to is used, it should be too. Other than that, the poem was free of error that I could see.

By centering the poem, I was able to feel the weight of the emotion as each offset line indicated turmoil and strife through metaphoric emphasis. With no even line to stabilize it, they emotions show chaos and uncertainty.

Overall, I feel this is well written. It is easy to visualize, and there were no strong editing notes to comment upon. The poem and the image compliment each other quite well.

The poem is clear to interpretation, and I see no way the lines could be misconstrued for something other than what they are. Great work!

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279

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#3734932

Review of Water Balloon Fight for R.A.O.K.!

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Legerdemain

What a great way to enjoy the summer. Filled with fun, excitement and fundraising. This game of chase, tag and fun, all filled with water, is a fantastic way to enjoy these summer days.

In order to raise GPs for RAOK, this fundraising activity has been set up so that the participants can have a round of fun with their friends.

The artwork for the forum looks fun and inviting. The layout of the page is simple and easy to read. Start and ending dates are clear without any confusion.

FORUM

Water Balloon Fight for R.A.O.K.!

(13+)
Bomb your friends with water balloons and help raise gift points for members in need.
#1880408 by Legerdemain

The fun has already started. Go to "RAOK Water Balloons!"

, and select a cnote to send to friends. Once they get wet, the fun is all in who they choose to throw balloons at. While this cycle can repeat itself many times over, the fun comes in helping a great cause with fundraising, while enjoying a game of cat and mouse.

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280

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#3733435

Review of MY VALENTINE

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Write-fully Loti

You entered the 92nd round at "Invalid Item"

. This is one of the bonus reviews I am completing for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

.

I hope you enjoyed this round of the contest. I see this item was written some time ago, almost ten years now. Just today I was thinking on writing that book of poetry, and what a book of poetry would consist of if I did. This is just the sort of poem I would enjoy reading in a poetry book.

MY VALENTINE

(E)
Love is gentle yet so strong. Won second place in poetry contest
#567548 by Write-fully Loti

Written as rhyming couplets, this poem tells of a relationship that is strong. You can feel the love in the words as you travel down the page. The depth of emotion pulls you into the moment, capturing an intimate glimpse into something special.

Short and simple, yet delivering a great picturesque tapestry, this poem is a joy to read. I feel the punctuation was right on target, guiding the reader through the poem with ease. The spelling was flawless, with great execution with the grammar. The subject of the poem was one that many readers will identify, and others will yearn to obtain.

Overall, this was a wonderful piece of writing. I enjoyed reading this several times over.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

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281

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#3732510

Review of Sweet Cardinal

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Lisa Noe

You entered the 92nd round at "Invalid Item"

. I will be reviewing as one of the judges. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

Six rhyming couplets that flow down the page like a slope covered in packed snow. This smooth poem depicts the tale of a male Cardinal in the winter.

STATIC

Sweet Cardinal

(E)
a peaceful winter scene, in which a male cardinal spots food.
#1876084 by Lisa Noe

The poet gives the bird an air of distinguishable character as the diligent hard worker is described to us during a cold Winter's day.

The rhymes flow smooth. Each verse is written with ease of read. I didn't have any trouble with the rhyming couplets. None of them seemed stressed or stretched to make it work. It is as if the rhymes flowed around the verse and not the verse created for the rhyme.

Overall a great poem. Thank you for sharing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

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282

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14 days may be credited.

#3731053

Review of Scenes at a Woodland Lake

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

R. Walter Smith

You entered the 92nd round at "Invalid Item"

. This means that I am here to review your entry. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

The first thing that comes to mind when I read this is beauty and life. I see this as a transitional piece. This is the eyes being opened and seeing your surroundings for the first time. Respecting what you view, and understanding that there is more to life than the day to day living. Then, seeing the innocent youth whose eyes are still shut to many of life's lessons, breaking into the serenity of the moment, the realization that time delivers lessons in its own way. To me, this is seeing that you have aged or matured, and are able to slow down and appreciate life.

Scenes at a Woodland Lake

(E)
A poem in iambic pentameter and rhyme scheme abab about an experience at a woodland lake.
#1874706 by R. Walter Smith

The picturesque beauty described in this piece was mesmerizing. I thoroughly enjoyed reading each verse. The meter and rhyming pattern flowed real smooth and flawless, as I traveled through the woods to find this lakeside art piece.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

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283

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14 days may be credited.

#3725449

Review of Contrast

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be by your port to review an item or two. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

STATIC

Contrast

(13+)
Am I insane?
#1872528 by ~ Santa Sisco ~

The roar of silence is deafening as I write this review. What a wonderfully fun poem to read. I liked how the individual parts complimented each other and actually make complete sense. There is a story told in the lines that had me smiling the whole way through.

I didn't notice any spelling or punctuation errors. The centering of the poem added to the contrast. The title compliments the poem, and I enjoyed this thoroughly.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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284

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14 days may be credited.

#3719104

Review of The English Maiden and The Exiled Prince

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Lord Morphine

You entered the 91st round at "Invalid Item"

. This means that I am here to review your entry. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

The English Maiden and The Exiled Prince

(E)
Their fate intertwined
#1872745 by Lord Morphine

This was an interesting poem to read. I had to come back to it a few times, for the voice of the poem was eluding me. I finally found that if I read each line quickly, and then paused, the rhyme gave way to the tale of the story, and brought the voice forward.

This proved to move the tale along as the poem cascaded down the page. With no true syllable equation or equilibrium between lines, I left it to the rhyme to dictate the direction, since this is a free-style piece.

1a,a,a,a
2b,b,b,b
3c,c,d,d
4e,e,e,e
5b,b,b,b
6f,g,g,g
7h,h,h,h
8i,i,i,i
9b,b,b,b,
10j,j,k,k
11 l,l,l,l

An interesting rhyming format, almost an alphabet tale. There were a few instances where the pattern is broken during a verse, but even that was close to creating a specific pattern, with only a few adjustments it would work.

Overall, a nice poem. A few rhyme adjustments and this will be a sound piece.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

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285

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#3718704

Review of On This Cross!

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Jaiam

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be by your port to review an item or two. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

On This Cross!

(E)
Poem about Christ's death upon the Cross!
#1854918 by Jaiam

With depth and clarity, this poem is told in the perspective of first person, as seen by Jesus, as he hangs on the cross. He tells why he is here, and what he hopes this will accomplish.

Not many authors, or readers, give much thought to placement or alignment, when it comes to poetry. It is my thought that something as simple as where or how you place a poem on the page, can add to its imagery. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal feelings on the subject, and not all will agree with this. Though, it does give one something to consider.

Overall, the grammar, spelling, and punctuation all appear to be in order. I didn't have any problem finding the voice of the poem, for it jumped right off of the page. Well done!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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286

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14 days may be credited.

#3718213

Review of Anatta

Review by ~WhoMe???~

Rated: E

| (5.0)

R. Walter Smith

You entered the 91th round at "Invalid Item"

. This means that I am here to review your entry. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Anatta

(E)
A poem on the Buddhist concept of anatta, or "no self". Explanatory notes below the poem.
#1870033 by R. Walter Smith

A very deep and insightful poem. This poem was thought provoking and had me reading it over and over. Each verse is a thought all of itself, and yet, it leads into the next with fluid movement and ease.

~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is not necessary for this piece. The poem guides the voice all on its own merit, with using occasional punctuation.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece.

I feel you did a great job with this poem. The thought provoking piece guides the reader to some inner reflection on a scale larger than the self, but yet, on the self.

I could find no flaws with the poem. The spelling, rhyme, punctuation and grammar, all appear to be intact. The explanation of the form and the pattern chosen, were helpful in identifying the rhythm. Is there a name for this form? I enjoyed reading this poem very much.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

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287

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#3716241

Review of Come Down from the Clouds

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

This review brought to you by "Invalid Item"

through "Invalid Item"

freedom22

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be in your port to review this item. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Come Down from the Clouds

(E)
Sometimes people forget to open their eyes and look to see what is right in front of them
#1871805 by freedom22

A wonderful freestyle poem that cascades down the page with grace and clarity. This poem delivers a message loud and clear, with no question as to what the author has in mind. The eyes are opened and the poem speaks for itself.

I liked the message of this poem. I am faced with this almost every day at work. From the panhandlers out to make a quick buck to get their next "fix" of the day, to the homeless looking for their next meal, I see these people outside of the store, or on the freeway exits, looking for help.

It is getting harder and harder these days, to truly see who needs the fish, and who needs to be taught to fish. I have witnessed a new car pull up in a grocery store parking lot, three youths jump out out, and spread throughout the lot. One keeps watch near the door of the store, while the rest approach store patrons as they pull up in, or head out to, their cars. The kids then jump in the NEW car, and head out to wherever they go, once their pockets are filled with cash.

On the other hand, I have witnessed those that are just as willing to accept a good meal, or are more than eager to earn some cash, to help them with their situations. The question becomes not who to help, but HOW to help.

Overall this is a great poem. A thought provoking piece that inspires others. A great piece of writing. It pays to open the eyes, but fully open them, don't leave blinders on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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288

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#3716214

Review of Life Chapter 1

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (2.5)

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

This review brought to you by "Invalid Item"

through "Invalid Item"

Jordan

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be by your port to review. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Life Chapter 1

(18+)
Openly writing from my personal diary.
#1871819 by Jordan

This is an introduction to who you are. Written as part of, or in addition to your journal, this piece begins with who you are, and gives us a glimpse back to some of your childhood and how life was growing up.

In this short chapter, we see that life wasn't easy for you, and you have had some hard lessons learned at quite the young age. That happens a lot in this day and age, and for various reasons. When this happens youth is stripped from us, regardless of the age, and we sometimes loose who we are. Speaking from experience, we often feel older than what we are, do to the lessons we have had to learn. In this aspect, I can agree with you, and empathize alongside you. Now, at a later day in life, I often feel younger than what I am. I don't know if that is due to these early lessons, or if that is just how it is as we grow older...

I see this as a piece that has great potential for becoming a great book, or as a therapeutic piece of writing for yourself.

One of the first things that I noticed, was the lack of capitalization to the pronoun I . I used to think this was do to one or two things. One being a representation of lack of self respect, or metaphor for, as used in poetry. The second was due to lack of proof-reading, or sheer laziness in typing. I have since come to realize that there are more than a few reasons people do things. Another instance I have come across this is lack of education on the grammar subject, and writing itself.

One of the grammar lessons I have learned, is that the pronoun I, is always capitalized, unless in poetry, when trying to show symbolism of low or nonexistent self respect.

There are several ways to open a story, or chapter. If this is a writing you wish to lure others to read, try an opening that will draw attention or intrigue the reader. If this is just a therapeutic writing, then that isn't necessary. The opening sentence, for me, had several areas that could be adjusted to be easier for the reader, and more grammatically sound.
My names Jordan, I'm a female and I'm 18 and ill be turning 19 in a couple weeks.
~Journal entry: My name is Jordan. I'm a female, on the cusp of turning 19.
~Story opening:Life sometimes robs us of our youth before we have had the opportunity to live it. My name is Jordan. I am 25, trapped in a 19 year old body, and this is my story.

Suggestions:
~anyone before in my life now.[insert bold word, sometimes less is more].
~to write it is 100% true.[substitute word in red]
~aren't always appropriate[,] and...[add a comma]
~Im I'm putting my self myself out there[.]

~Go back and proofread each sentence. There are numerous spelling and grammar issues, as well as punctuation and capitalization.
~If this is to be a journal piece only, I would suggest listing it as a private piece.

Overall, this has great potential for a wonderful novel, if that is the direction you wish to go. In order to get there, the above mentioned items and more would need to be put in place. If a journal or therapy piece is the direction you are going, then all of that truly doesn't matter, and keep it as you have it. There are members and services here on site that will willingly help you with the grammar and other areas if you so wish.

I will gladly come back and re-rate this if editing is done. Right now I am rating it a 2.5, as something that has good potential, but as is, ranks below average. Though I am intrigued by the story, the grammar, lack of a proofread, and punctuation errors, make it hard to read smoothly. This could also use some restructuring to flow better for a story line.

On a more personal note. I can relate to many of the emotions showing through the cracks, and would be very interested in a completed piece, even if it were just one chapter. Please do contact me if editing is done, so I can come re-review your item.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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#3714773

Review of Touch A Star

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Liam

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be by your port to review an item or two. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Touch A Star

(E)
A lesson taught.
#1870988 by Liam

To me, this is a wonderful poem about practicing what you preach, because those watching, especially the youth, will not always comprehend or believe what you are trying to teach them, unless first seeing that you are or have followed the chosen path before.

This is a very rhythmic piece. I found great spark and excitement while reading it, and that isn't from the tea I am drinking.

I could find no errors with this poem. The spelling, punctuation and grammar all appear to be in order. In addition, the poem is sound in body and delivers a great lesson.

~Something to consider:

Not many authors, or readers, give much thought to placement or alignment, when it comes to poetry. It is my thought that something as simple as where or how you place a poem on the page, can add to its imagery. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal feelings on the subject, and not all will agree with this. Though, it does give one something to consider.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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290

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14 days may be credited.

#3713267

Review of A Moment Well Spent

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

David O'Haolin Whalen

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be by your port to review an item or two. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

You entered the 91st round at "Invalid Item"

. This means that I am here to review your entry. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

A Moment Well Spent

(E)
Taking time to smell the roses
#1868236 by David O'Haolin Whalen

This read, to me, as a song. Human characteristics and comparisons are made to show that at first glance, there is nothing special, but with a closer look, there is a beauty beyond compare.

Upon closer inspection, this has a freestyle form, yet has a rhyming pattern apparent in all verses with the exception of number two.

~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation isn't necessary for this piece.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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291

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14 days may be credited.

#3708655

Review of The people you meet in Heaven

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Invalid Item"

♥♥♥♥♥

"The people you meet in Heaven"

Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC

You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "Invalid Item"

. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

How many of us stop to think about our actions and what the consequences may bring? This is a story that delves into the relationship of consequence and action. It has sparked great thought and interest from me, and I truly enjoyed reading it, down to the laugh I got with the punch line.

I found a few areas of interest that could use a second glance:

~she turned round around shouted,
~snapped like a stick...
~staggered out of the bar and it was nearly five in the morning...(not sure about the timing on this, though it could depend on where this takes place. Most bars in the states I have lived all stop selling alcohol at 2am, same as stores and mini marts. Though, as said before, the timing could be relative to the location.)
~minutes we parked beached the boat...

You have reminded me that I had wanted to see a particular movie, and forgot all about it, thank you.

This is truly the adventure I did not expect to find. The twists and turns that wove through this well told story had me glued to the screen and awaiting each new outcome. I liked how this is a dream like state and yet, is it?

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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292

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14 days may be credited.

#3707822

Review of Band Together

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Don Two

You entered the 90th round at "Invalid Item"

. That means that this week, I will be by your port to review this item. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

STATIC

Band Together

(E)
They meet someone on the way to hear a mariachi band.
#1866036 by Don Two

With great rhythm and rhyme this poetic piece travels down the page as a picture is created of howling werewolves and hungry bellies. This fun little piece was created for a contest, using specific word prompts. I must say that I found this quite amusing.

Overall, I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This was funny and a joy to read.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

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293

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3706175

Review of Resolutions

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

🌖 HuntersMoon

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

, this is the last of the two reviews you won in the auction.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Resolutions

(E)
New Year's eve thoughts. (Form: Than Bauk)
#1836953 by 🌖 HuntersMoon

This brings to mind a party, with kissing at midnight, as the ball falls and the fireworks blare. The drinks consumed and the passion and excitement of the night, wipe from the mind the resolutions and ideas for the year, if even for a brief moment.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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294

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14 days may be credited.

#3706126

Review of SWEPT AWAY

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This will be the second of the reviews won in the package at "Come celebrate with me!"

. If these had already been filled, I have forgotten it, and do not see where that is mentioned in any past reviews. If that be the case, then these are bonus reviews for you because I like reading your poetry. I have decided to re-start fulfilling my dream, and am awaiting my journal arrival from the shop here so that I can begin filling it with poetry to be published. Yippee! You can say that you have been an inspiration to me, and I must see this thing through. So in between work, quilting, gardening and here, I will be writing, hopefully, at least a poem a day.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

SWEPT AWAY

(E)
With you, I am swept away
#1831188 by SHERRI GIBSON

This is a poem of passion. The centered text helps to give off the illusion that the fire burning between the two lovers is intense and in no way a steady even temperature, but a fluctuating fire, that burns hot and cold as the flames are fueled and abated.

Another rhyming piece that tells a great tale of love between two individuals. Their shared desire of one another goes beyond lust as they experience those passionate moments heated desire.

A great poem of which I could find no error.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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295

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14 days may be credited.

#3706123

Review of LED BY A STAR

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

SHERRI GIBSON

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

.In addition, you have won two reviews in an auction, "Come celebrate with me!"

, as well as a sig. I will send you a sig in a few, but first for those two reviews that I need to fulfill today for you. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

LED BY A STAR

(E)
They were led to Him by a star
#1831191 by SHERRI GIBSON

The funny thing about this item, well maybe it isn't funny, but it is odd, is that I have stopped by this particular item several times, in order to review it. I can not say as to why a review has not been placed here before, but today it will be done.

Beginning with a similar line to that of a child's nursery rhyme, the pattern is set for the rhythm of the poem, through rhyme and cadence. I could find no flaw with the rhymes, and had an easy time reading the poem. The additional color added to each verse, as well as the title, helped to give this a form of a decorated Christmas tree, something I found unique.

Overall, I could find no flaw with this poem, and enjoyed reading it multiple times.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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296

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14 days may be credited.

#3706039

Review of Who's the Boss?

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.0)

ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams

You entered the 90th round at "Invalid Item"

. That means that this week, I will be by your port to review this item. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

STATIC

Who's the Boss?

(E)
I really don't know. Look at my ... Shane!
#1864137 by ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams

This is a poem written with lots of heart. There is rhythm with each verse, and together the verses tell a story of a puppy and how it changes the life of one, to become a family.

Normally, I would say that in writing poetry, you must go with what feels right to you. In reading this, I felt that the rhythm made for some forced rhymes and created a forced feeling. In addition, some of the wording was hard for me to follow, only in the sense that it jumped around during the verses. For instance, talking of him napping, and jumping around in the same verse, there was no correlation, in fact, I found it contradictory. Here are a few changes I would suggest:

He’s soft, small and smart
And follows me ... everywhere!
He cries when I go to K-mart
Now I practically go ... nowhere!

He's soft, small and smart,
Following me everywhere!
He cried when I went to K-mart,
so now I go practically nowhere.

He likes to take his nap
While I am watching TV,
He is a real acrobat
He jumps high, you should see.

He like to take his nap,
While I am watching TV,
But when he is awake,
He's an acrobat you should see.

This is a personal poem, written with heart and love. It is important to remember that others will not always see the picture you are trying to create. Fluid subject in each verse helps to maintain the visual painting of the artist.

I wish you luck with the contest. Keep writing!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

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297

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14 days may be credited.

#3701975

Review of Shape Shifter

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Prosperous Snow celebrating

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be by your port to review an item or two. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Shape Shifter

(13+)
My Forgotten Muses. This was written for the Monster Maker Challenge.
#997221 by Prosperous Snow celebrating

A very creative imagery you have captured as you try to describe the illusive idea of tomorrow as it nibbles at your conscious trying to be born. The picture you have created was wonderful. The imagery divine. How do you describe what has yet to be born? You know it is there, you know it is forthcoming, but until it reaches you, there is no true concept of what it is. Bravo.

This is well written. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling, or punctuation errors. The imagery was captivating and this poetic prose had me on the edge of my seat awaiting the revelation. What will tomorrow bring?

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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298

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14 days may be credited.

#3699927

Review of ANONYMOUS RATERS

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

SHERRI GIBSON

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be by your port to review an item or two. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

ANONYMOUS RATERS

(18+)
An opinion on anonymous raters
#1209577 by SHERRI GIBSON

Making this my final review for the hour, I see that someone had witnessed or heard of another bashing review from an anonymous source. One thing that stands out though, is that there is a time and place for anonymous reviewing, and that would be in the case of Secret Santas or Secret Sisters, or such as the like. Other than that, I am sure this is directed at those using the anonymous title as to wreak havoc and mayhem on unsuspecting writers.

Well written, I can see the dander rise as feathers are ruffled and someone is in for tongue lashing.

A well written piece, though I do feel, looking back, that something should be said as for a time and place for anonymous, and the proper way to go about it.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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299

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14 days may be credited.

#3699921

Review of WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

SHERRI GIBSON

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be by your port to review an item or two. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS

(13+)
Written from experience.
#1244074 by SHERRI GIBSON

Now I get to see WHEN it all began. My dear friend, you and your optimism never cease to amaze me. In the midst of it all, you were and still are, thinking of others. I don't know a single day that you haven't put others above yourself.

Written for a contest, assumption due to the word count, this piece is one of the heart, and a true experience as well. Through this, we can see the struggles and tribulation that you fight through to make it through the day.

I didn't notice any spelling, punctuation or grammar issues. This was a piece, that though hard to read due to the inflictions, made a clearer understanding of where you are today and why. I hope the sun shines on you this day, and that you enjoy the weekend.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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300

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14 days may be credited.

#3699911

Review of Where Evil Dwells

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

SHERRI GIBSON

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that today, I will be by your port to review an item or two. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Where Evil Dwells

(E)
What horrors lie where evil dwells?
#1608789 by SHERRI GIBSON

This is a story I have read before, but somehow failed to get a review in for. Maybe this was for the better, for this time around, a few things struck me, that hadn't stood out before. Sometimes it is better to read an item more than once when reviewing, and this is one of those circumstances where I find this to be true.

A few small discrepancies with the story, or perhaps the reader

. Why would four cups of brew be needed for the transformation? If so, why is it mentioned that only one was dished up, and then, all four of the witches seemed to have a cup in their hands. Perhaps if each witch had to administer an amount of the brew in order to maintain their power, this would flow better. That, or each had to take a small drink after the transformation of the girl, in order to maintain the powers.

All of this brings up another point. If 12 innocents had to be destroyed, and Kelly is the 12th, how is transforming her going to work? She isn't destroyed when transformed. Perhaps I am being too analytical about this, and then again, maybe not.

I liked that this was a story of Halloween, where at times, it seems anything is possible. The witches and their magic accompanied by a knight, or cat, in shining armor, is a nice fairytale.

There were a few hiccups for me as the reader, but other than that, this was well written. I couldn't find any grammar, spelling or punctuation to comment upon. Great Read!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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