Hello. I'm new and this is going to be my first review! I have read a couple so I hope I do okay.
Okay so first things first I really think this is a really lovely poem. It sounded just like something someone who actually gets paid to write stuff would write ;) It was very nicely rhymed, almost like a lullaby, and I think it could work even as some sort of song if you wanted it too. It's very well done as well as spelling and as far as overall thought goes too. You worked it out nicely when you set the scene in so little text, and then ended it in so little text as well. I think when reading this (as the reader) I appreciate the gentleness of the tone and thought and the fact that everything just sort of rolls along. I think a few things to work on though are the actuality that it is so short though and that it could be extended; the cliché of the stars being twinkling diamonds, and the little hitch created in the smoothness of the poem by certain words or phrases. The hitches are created when the words you chose to rhyme next aren't as close to the words rhymed last. Maybe that'll help?
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 2:01pm on Dec 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "