i there B, DestinyAwaitsDarling   I'm excited to have stopped in your portfolio to read your item "The Weight and the Sea"  I figure I better make my suggestions in here, the 'Review Tool', so I don't lose anything I write and can come back to it easily. I won't always bother, but it's good to know my reviewing standards, etc. As you are so new to the site, I'll give you more suggestions, but do what you want. Like, always. Unless it's detrimental  He he.
 OBLIGATORY BLURB
I am not an editor, but a reader who dabbles in writing. I likely will not point out every typo or error, but if I mention some you should give the write another edit. No reader wants to trip over too many mistakes—although it is part of the process we go through as we learn how to write most effectively. If I stumble over something, I will try to list my suggestions for improvement.
Although I am a hard 'butt' when it comes to reviewing non-fiction, I also believe I am supportive and fair. Please realize that a 5  rating means very near perfection to me, and a 3  rating is average on WdC! If your write receives a 3.5 rating it is considered somewhat above average. Please see "Comment-In-A-Box" and "Guidelines To Great Reviewing" for some more information.
I do hope you find my review helpful! Take my suggestions or leave ‘em, as you see fit—it's your 'baby'  Listen to your instincts for developing or keeping your own style (unless it proves incorrect on further analysis). Feel free to send me a message if you'd like any clarifications, or to request another review rating if you've since made changes. I’m slow, but interested!
CONTENT COMMENTS
Starts off strong, catches my interest. The second paragraph? I don't know how, but you've put into words something I've felt before. For sure. Nice. "Maybe hiding behind blinders like everybody else..." yeah we've certainly been thinking that collectively, I mean a lot of us have, you know? Of course you know, you wrote it 
Nice descriptive language: I think you're really good at making your readers feel. It's unfortunate that you have such experiences, but I applaud you for your reaching out to others who have also. You are hinting at a past here, while highlighting the anxiousness. Both can be an isolating experience, which you show so well here. The middle to end is especially strong. With some additional editing, and more practice, this will definitely shine in spite of its darker subject matter. We, collectively, can't help stop what we don't know about, so education is key. You're an older twenty-five, aren't you 
..."if I were to speak of the nerves crawling like insects underneath my skin, or the way reality and insanity collide in my brain, it will just prove that I am only searching for attention." Ah but no, it sounds exactly like what I experience as a physical symptom: like you've ants in your pants but in your legs, and you have to get up and move. It's called Restless Legs Syndrome. It can be a side effect of medication, typically SSRI/SSNRIs, or something else. It's become pretty common now and there are medicines, though I do not use them. I use a magnesium lotion and it amazingly works. See, I am always trying to understand anxiety because so many peeps have it. You are in good company on this site. Oh, btw, really good writing! Again, descriptive language is terrific.
SUGGESTIONS
Putting writing up online can be tricky at first, especially if you've been to other sites, as they're all likely do things a little bit different. WdC, like many if not most others, wants a separating line between paragraphs; no indenting the first lines; and a font of at least 3.5, though 4.0 is fine. Without these points, you may get more people looking, but not necessarily reviewing. Again, I don't know how other sites do it, but this is definitely what is recommended here. I want you to have the most reviewers possible!
Perhaps a bit more editing, and this will be ready for publishing, if you've a mind to it. I don't know much about the publishing world so that's all I will say, but sometimes we just need to write for ourselves and our audience, sometimes we want to publish. You can certainly do what you wish with the effort focused on writing your message, keeping your focus. Focus is so difficult for me, but you seem to be extremely persistent. It shows! Some may find this item sad, but I see it as triumphant; I truly believe keeping s*** in is cancer-causing. Gotta get it out. (That happens to be my writing focus).
LITTLE EDITS
 EDIT Suggestion (A)
My hands are flesh-bound earthquakes, but I can't feel that
Suggest: them
EDIT Suggestion (B)
Even though they're balled into fists with my nails digging into my palms, it is like I am only a bystander- the damage is visible, even when it cannot be felt.
This is one of those sentences that just doesn't sound right. Idiomatic. They're (they are) and the singular I are grammatically correct, but you are talking about them in the past, then in the present. Could be just me. When I come across one of these sentences, I just re-word it. I would do something like:
My hands are flesh-bound earthquakes, but I can't feel them either as they've also gone completely numb;
balled into fists, my nails digging into my palms, it is like I am only a bystander— the damage is visible, even
though it cannot be felt.
That's just one example, of course! Oh, you make an EMDASH here like this, type exactly: {emdash} Drove me nuts for a while. Perhaps years  Also, if you go to NOTEPAD on the left hand side? Open that. You can practice your ML coding (markup language, the stuff that the site was built on) in there. You would just type in {emdash} and get —, store it, and preview it. At the end you can save it, or not. If you go into any typing 'BODY', you see that long line of icons? One is a ? question mark, open that, there are basics of the ML coding. There's one for emoticons (smileys) too.
EDIT Suggestion (C)
The second paragraph is again, really strong, yet I know it can be even more so. I mean, check this out: Sometimes, I wonder if other people can see the darkness as well as me. I wonder if anybody ever looks at me in the street and thinks, “she's barely hanging on. I can see it.” I see it everywhere- in everyone; maybe that's why I'm having a panic attack right now. Maybe hiding behind blinders like everybody else is what could save me.
darkness as well as me...looks at me...see it...I see it everywhere. See how you use these words, then use them again in the next sentence? If you read it out loud, you might notice it sounding a bit awkward. This slight repetition is easy to change, if you want, by using different words. The 'me' can be 'I can'. Etc.
I would look again at the emdash and the semi-colon in this paragraph as well 
EDIT Suggestion (D)
This great suggestion was torpedoed by the WdC Review Tool in combination with my Chrome browser. Sorry. Can't get it back...  Moving on!
EDIT Suggestion (E)
“Just stop being so over dramatic;” but they aren't the ones who feel it-...
Should that semi-colon be a comma, and before or after the quote? No, I don't know, but it looks odd Also, I do know to use quotes if you are actively quoting word-for-word someone specific; use single quotes if it is less specific or not a direct quote; and I personally use italics for thoughts. Don't take my word for it—I'd check it out.
EDIT Suggestion (F)
...from my dreams because both realms are filled screaming, arguments, terror,
are filled with screaming,...
EDIT Suggestion (G)
I meant to mention the ratings around here. This is a largely learned but extremely confusing thing, at first. The official docs mention swearing, but there's a whole other area regarding suicidal references, ideation, or act; depression and medication; murder; sex. Basically, the only items you should ever rate "E" should be able to be read or viewed by EVERYONE; say, even a five-year-old So, your item has various themes that we don't want our five-year-olds reading, right? (Yes, there are kids here!) So, I would rate this item a PG-13. Here's the official: "Content Rating System (CRS)" You can also ask for specific help here: "Content Rating Support" If an item isn't rated appropriately, a moderator or above can change it to the appropriate rating. You would receive an email notifying you. This happens sometimes and is always aimed at keeping information appropriate for the kids. Ask, ask, ask and everyone will help.
I don't know what really constitutes 'prose'; so saying, I always put my real stuff as 'non-fiction'. I sometimes get a review and they're talking about MY feelings and events in MY life as fiction, which is seriously annoying to me. However, there are so many ways to categorize here! Just a note that anything under the 'personal' category isn't eligible for the QUILL awards, and I think it'd suck if someone nominated this item and it wasn't eligible. I go with 'experience' which is essentially the same thing, n'est ce pas? 'Dark' is a popular one as well. Anyways, fill out those three sub genre categories, it gives the reader a better idea of content before reading. I personally would do: Non-fiction at the top, then: Experience, Psychology, and Dark or Melodrama. That doesn't mean for YOU to change yours, just giving you some information. You get your groove here after a while and it becomes old hat. Honest. You did good.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I guess I found a lot to say about this, the first of your items I have read Oh I threw in a bunch of 'lil tips, some will help, some won't, but I do love my non-fiction. Now, fluff it up a bit and truly this is a 5 write, so let me know when and if you have an edited version! Not sure if you're learning the ML coding here, so it would be "The Weight and the Sea" which is {item:2284471} and send it to me via IM or email.
I really hope some of these edits might resonate with yah B (not everyone wants their name known so I figure I best be cautious). Can't wait to read more, soon! Don't worry, many of my reviews are small and without fanfare. This helps me to focus, as well, so ~Adrie
 
(Adrienne) or just 'Whata' 
 
How-To for WdC Stuff WhataLand Warehouse
Click Da Pics to Magically POOF! There Lessons to Play With
|
Proof.
"VI. Diagnoses & the Spoon Theory" 
grammar & punctuation edits!
| (3.5)
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "
Adrie
Then again, without some of them, I'd be dead 
The American Dream is for anyone who cares to come; at least, it used to be, and that is the real tragedy of his presidency—he tried to trample our reputation as a welcoming country. He made it okay in America to be racist, again: darn tooting we're mad at him! The real American Dream is one based on kindness, I think.
As if one is apologizing for their faith, when really they are in defense of it. Gotta love English, right? It's become a real study now and you have excellent reasons why herein 
Oh, also, when you make changes to the first footnote, it will update the rest automatically by number, just in case you aren't aware. I like that about WdC!
So, if you want to keep it, you should be rating the piece 18+. If you decide to use another word, perhaps 'self-indulgent', your 13+ is just fine. I know that sucks, but in all fairness this isn't about a sexual topic where you can easily segue this into the write, it's theme is on 'Faith'. But there is a forum where you can ask to be sure! "
