Hi Mara, This story covers the lives of two people from an unlikely school age friendship until death, that makes it an epic of sorts! I feel you had a golden opportunity to flesh ourt your characters and make this story longer. Can I give a few examples? the fancy car could have had a colour, a model, a year- and dont think this dates the peice as old cars, well cared for, are very prestigous. I would have liked your friends name or the two girls names. I would also have liked a description of the blonde girls face. We know she had a friendly personality, they both do. Their partners also deserve names and personalities. The girls could have talked about them the way best friends do. Why was the summer they met so magical? its an interesting idea for a story, I hope the characters get under your skin and beg you to say more about them, don't be afraid of being taken over by characters, they can haunt your waking and dreaming if you want to go on the wild ride of crafting a novel about them. I really liked the topic and it is well written, but as I say, I was left wanting to know moreabout these two friends for life. Cheers, Lyndy Wrote.
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