This is a nice poem.it has an obvious rhyme scheme. When I counted the syllables, I noticed that the syllable count was not always exactly the same for each line, but I guess you mange to make that work, so that it's not a big deal.
I really liked the first stanza which asked th question about true love and I also liked how the second stanza suggested an answer to th question. The third stanza puzzled me a little bit more. It had two strange similes/metaphors. The broke rcord which I can sort of understand, that's a popular simile, almost a cliche for repeating things. But the gaming token, I'm not sure I understand.
This is a fun little poem about a cute topic, but it could have used some more work.
For one thing, the rhyme scheme is inconsistent from stanza to stanza. Ususally, the second and fourth lines rhyme, but the first and third lines only rhyme sporadically.
The syllable count is also strange. While I counted eight syllables in most of the lines, there were several exceptions. This gave the poem an uneven rhythm.
I realize this poem was probably meant to just be silly, but I think good rhyme and rhythm can make this genre of poetry funnier.
That was an intriguing story, but also rather incomplete story. I wanted to know more about that village and what it was doing surrounded by the stream. More to the point, who was that woman and why didn't she want the narrator to drink from the "fountain of Youth"?
This promises to be afun activity which can help provide focus throughtout the next year.
I think the prize I would most like to earn is Giftpoints. They're almost as good as money. Well, not really. You can't use them to buy food, clothing, shelter, or even chewing gum, but you can use them to pay for your membership on WDC which can be a big help if you hoard enough of them.
Which activities, I will enjoy the most? That is a little bit harder to say. I will always enjoy entering myu writing in contests. Creating Word Search puzzles is something which I have never done before, so I can't say whether I will love it or hate it.
I am giving this thing four stars because I generalllly reserve five stars for literature which impresses me. This isn't even literature, but I am willing rto say that it is pretty darn good.
Hello. I just entered the very same contest which this was written for.
Also, this is free verse which I always have a little trouble reviewing.
Nevertheless, I like the actual title of this poem. It's a fun little pun.
The poem seems to follow a structure of two short lines alternating with one longer line, and it presents the message that peace needs to begin with small things and hopefully grow.
Okay. For the record, I just entered this very same contest, so I guess we're in competition.
I enjoyed reading this story from a technical standpoint. There were no errors and it has some humor.
I guess my biggest complaint would be that I didn't see much point to it all. It was just describing a little scene and not really saying much about it. That may be appropriate for the contest that you are entering, but it left me a little unimpressed.
You do realize that in chess, you have the option of trying to turn a loss into a stalemate by putting yourself in a position where there are no moves left. Most of the time, it's not worth it in a friendly game, but professionals sometimes do it.
Anyway, as to the poem itself, I realize that the poem had to be exactly eight lines and it appears that you chose to have each line by exactly eight syllables which gives it a nice rhythm. The stress pattern seems to be iambic rather than trochaic.
Moreover, four sets of rhymed couplets works well enough for expressing some worldly wisdom in a brief amount of space.
To be honest, this is not the sort of thing I usually review. Nothing against it, mind you, but it's just hard to know what to say about free verse poetry.
Anyway, this is a sad little poem. You mention in the intro, that it's about a child affected by war. I should say that the actual text of the poem doesn't exactly make that clear. There's a lot of war imagery, but not much about the actual child.
Anyway, I did enjoy the last line which contains a rhyme with the line two lines previous.
This is a short and simple poem about a fairly relatable topic. As far as I can tell, it has now syllable count. Just a rhyme scheme of alternating couplets. I particularly liked the couplet in the middle where you apologized for the approximate rhyme.
Well, this is not the sort of thing I would normally want to read. I think it's a little bit overwritten and melodramatic. Maybe there's an audience for that kind of writing, but I am not in it.
My other problem with this is that it doesn't have much of an ending. Am I to understand that this scene was meant to be part of a larger work? If so, perhaps the larger work will explain the characters and develop their relationships better, but out of context, this piece left me uninterested.
This is a fairly simple bit of free verse which unfortunately can be kind of hard for me to review.
I see that you were prompted to write a poem using the line, "the day unfolds". You have used it as a sort of refrain in the beginning, the midpoint, and the end of the poem. It appears that the first half is a description of dawn and the second half is a description of the evening.
The observations themselves are pretty and it is a generally pleasant read.
I have to be honest, I probably would not have reviewed this if I had not encountered it in the "I Write. . ." activity, so I will do my best.
You do some interesting things with the prompt words. I would probably not have thought of using the word, "rifle" that way. Probably, the one that I like the least is the sentence where you use the word, "physics". That entire sentence seems a little bit extraneous.
This is honestly not the sort of thing I would normally want to read or review, but it was ahead of me in the "I write in 2024" contest.
I had no idea what a heart cath was so I actually googled it. It sounds like a fairly disturbing procedure although the google site claimed that it was painless. You also say you suspect they used conscious sedation. I'm a little surprised that they would do something like that without telling you.
Anyway, I didn't see any technical problems here. Although, again, I normally would not see much point to reading it.
As far as I can tell, it's mostly free verse. The closest thing to a form that I can find in here is that each stanza is four lines. The first and the third lines have no rules except that they have to be fairly long and sandwich the second line which is always a three syllable, "where are you?" It's an effective refrain because it is so simple. The fourth line has to contain the word, "lost" which I understand is the prompt for this contest.
It is an interesting poem because we have no idea whom the speaker is addressing or how they lost this person.
I guess this is actually an effective statement of loss without saying much.
I think it's a very good form the way the shorter lines "sandwich" between the longer lines. I will say that when I examined the lines carefully and counted the syllables, I found that the second line is one syllable too long. Maybe you can change it to something like:
"They gaze at mine without pleading"
Aside from that, the first stanza is very powerful. Somehow the second stanza seemed a little weaker. The rhymes of "glance, romance and chance" seemed a little less interesting than "misleading, pleading and acceding.
This is a good paragraph. I would like to know more about the rest of the context, but it seems to come from a discussion of the question whether there is such a thing as an unforgivable sin, which is an excellent question. You come to an excellent short answer.
This is a very inspiring entry. I don't know Glen Campbell and I had never heard this song before, but I looked it up on Youtube and I can see why some people would find it moving.
I like your idea that one starts with a random act of kindness every day and gradually becomes a full time kind person.
Hello. I actually just entered the very same contest which this was written for. Although, my take on the subject was much darker.
Overall, this is a decent story for the propmpt. The entire thing is a little bit predictable, but maybe that's what you expect when writing for a prompt like that.
The main character is definitely believable as someone who would have suicidal thoughts. Whenever you contemplate suicide, probably the first thing that stops you is wondering what your friends and family will think.This character has no friends or family to speak of, so I guess it's understandable.
All right. I just entered the very same contest that this was written for, so I feel a little biased.
Anyway, I am actually a little divided on whether I like this entry. The first part sounds like nothing but a list of platitiudes about writing with no relationship other than the letters of the alphabet.
I thought it got a little better towards the end. Particularly when the author becomes self-referential about how the poem isn't that good. The part about "xylophones mak"ing more sense" and "yeah, that was a stretch." At that point, the interaction between the lines was better.
All right. I know what the prompt for this story was, mainly because I thought about entering the same contest, but I couldn't come up with anything.
It's an interesting little story, but I had a little trouble following it. I had to read it twice to get the idea that this character lost the ability to dance because he got a ticket and got it back when the ticket was dismissed.
The judge responded, with a wicked smile. "Mr. Moore, I'm not auditioning for a Broad Way play, so performing my favorite One Hit Wonder song isn't going to help your case."
This line struck me as a little bit illogical. Normally, when people are auditioning, you don't play their favorite song.
I guess my point here is that the whole story sounds like something that was rushed and not really thought through carefully, which I'm sure it was.
This is a an interesting little story. I see that some words at the beginning are bolded which I assume were the prompt words for the contest. And actually, I can't help noticing that all of the prompt words are used at the begining before the plot really gets under way. I suppose there's nothing wrong with that, but it almost gives me the feeling that this is two pieces. The first being just a description of a night at a carnival using all of the prompt words and the second being the story that you wanted to tell.
Anyway, the story itself is good if not great. A girl proving herself by beating boys at a game is a nice story even if it has kind of been done before.
Very Good. This is an interesting sonnet. The first quatrain seems almost funny because it's about something so simple. But the second quatrain shows that there is more going on here. And then the third quatrain shows how both soup and love are unified for the narrator.
The final couplet is a little contradicotru. The narrator says that he wouldn't have it any other way. Well, isn't the point of the poem that he would rather be in a real relationship with the soup server? But maybe that's just poetic license.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/weirdone28
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 11:23pm on Mar 03, 2026 via server WEBX1.
un: 
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Community Feed
Puzzle Hub
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
