I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our July Dialogue Only Contest!
First Impressions:
The title "Cold Feet" brings on the tension. The reader wonders, will they or won't they walk down the aisle?
Further Thoughts:
The dialogue gets right to the point with a shocking opening line: "What do you mean, it's over?" Of course no one knows at this point just how far those cold feet will keep.
Upon further reading the reader finds out what kind of person this poor groom-to-be got engaged to. He says it's love, she doesn't agree.
Parting Thoughts:
I felt sad and elated for the groom at the same time, because it's better to find out now then the nuptials.
Fine use of the dialogue prompt. Although, I thought it was kind of abrupt. There was room to introduce the characters. And yet, this marriage was doomed and it's better not to drag that out.
Conclusion:
I loved the ending! Making her pay for the coffee ... priceless.
P.S. I'm glad he got his grandmother's diamond engagement ring back!
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our JUly Dialogue Only contest.
First Impressions:
Touchy subject is about to unfold from what I gleaned from the brief description.
Further Thoughts:
What a pickle an in-law can get a couple into with a simple overriding of the wedding invitation etiquette.
I have to agree with the bride in theory, if her relatives were told not to bring kids, then his relatives should be treated equally.
That's where it ends. The travel with an infant, is difficult enough. At least they went through the trouble and expense to celebrate the couple's wedding day.
You made it clear for the reader through their dialogue what was truly important to them. I mean what were her relatives going to do when they saw a baby, there? Make a scene? She could have put out that fire with a simple "I didn't know they were bringing a baby. Everybody got the same restriction written on their invitations."
I guess, like her future husband, I could see a reasonable way out.
Parting Thoughts:
The dialogue reached escalation points of no return. How sad to watch the woman he intended to marry turn into a Bridezilla!
Oh, no! Not the fine china!!!
Yup, doomed!
Conclusion:
She is certainly a piece of work. So happy with the ending!
I am also reviewing this item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering July's Dialogue Only contest.
Initial Thoughts:
When I looked at the genres and saw "supernatural" and "paranormal," I knew I was going to enjoy this ride.
Further Thoughts:
The future bride and groom discuss their upcoming nuptials. The bride seems to be having a case of cold feet. The groom, ever the gentleman tries to relieve her doubts and stress.
Parting Thoughts:
Nowhere does it actually come out and mention it, but I caught a bit of a picture of her future husband in my mind's eye, with pointed fangs and a need to feed his appetite at night. Of course that could just be my very active imagination at work.
Conclusion:
It looks like he was quite convincing. The wedding went on without a hitch! Or, should I say with a hitch?
There may need to be a sequel to this story. What will his bride discover after the wedding? Inquiring minds want to know.
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering the July Dialogue Only contest.
Initial Impressions:
Jen and Ben are having a bit of a disagreement about where the happy couple should reside following their wedding. I have to say, I don't blame Jen for feeling a bit awkward about living with the Mom and sisters after marriage.
Newlyweds need time to themselves as they take on the reins of life together.
Further Thoughts:
I love how they talked things out about Jen's concerns for privacy and Ben's concerns for his mother who needs support financially.
Parting Thoughts:
I can see both sides of the conflict. I liked the way they both came up with a workable solution. It's when only one person in a relationship can't bend at all that the marriage is probably doomed if they decided to through with it.
Conclusion:
Well done on the dialogue and the conflict control so that the couple may live happily ever after.
I'm also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering July's Dialogue Only contest.
Initial Thoughts:
You set out the prompt and WC at the top of the item. Thank you for showing the prompt and highlighting the Bard's Hall contest. I like that.
Further Thoughts:
The dialogue between the couple was good. It captured my interest, let me actually picture them at that time and understand why there was a pre-nuptial cold-feet moment.
Observation:
"She just want[wants]to help, Mia. What's the harm in that?"
Parting Thoughts:
I love how the couple resolved their huge issues. I also like they agreed to separate married life from in-laws' interference. Sending the mom to another continent could be helpful for them.
Good use of the dialogue prompt. It was an amusing read and wove in some heavy reality in many couples' marriages.
Conclusion:
Did you use small font to tease my new lenses?
I can read it without reading glasses, but decided to zoom it a bit for my sanity.
I sure hope this couple works out the in-law woes. For sure, busy body in-laws can put a strain on a marriage.
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering July's Dialogue Only contest.
Initial Thoughts:
"A different kind of wedding story"
Catchy brief description. I was very curious and anxious to read the story and watch how it all unfolds.
Further Thoughts:
Indeed, it was not a disappointment. I love the humor and the "I dare you" type of dialogue. This couple were meant for each other.
Parting Thoughts:
I don't know how Rick ever thought he could push his mother's wedding dress upon the bride, Christine, especially since she already spent money purchasing her own choice of wedding dress. Usually that's done some time before the wedding.
Christine's got spunk. She'll probably end up getting her money's worth during the marriage.
Love that Rick promised to "obey" in the marriage vows. That dude got duped just fine.
Conclusion:
This was a fun read and very good use of the prompt of dialogue between the future bride and groom having an argument the day before the wedding, and making the decision of whether they go through with the wedding the next day.
Your brief description lets the reader know that the story will be about love and deep sadness. I have said my good byes to a loved one in hospice.
This is a very emotional story of a Robert's love for his dying brother Jacky, in hospice.
Further Thoughts:
I loved the opening and closing lyrics. The reader is introduced to the song trapped in Jacky's brain. He would hum it over and over again. It brings part of that being stuck-within one's brain to the point of it being maddening. But the reader understood Jacky's suffering more through this addition of the lyrics.
I admired Robert for continuing to visit Jacky even though his brother struggled to be coherent. Robert is a very brave person. He wished he could get his brother the help he needed to end his misery and suffering.
I loved that there was a coherent moment from Jacky. He reached out to Robert with his thoughts and hopes. Although Robert couldn't do what was requested due to the family's objections, he did appreciate hearing his brother making sense when he spoke.
Parting Thoughts:
Robert's love for his brother would give him the strength to research options that would help Jacky rest in peace ... no matter how much the family would object.
Conclusion:
You did a great job turning the Quotation Prompt into both a heartwarming and heart wrenching story that touches the reader profoundly.
Interesting pull for the reader. Indeed, are we really in control of our destiny? I know I wanted to find out what was doing the controlling, so I was eager to read on!
Further Thoughts:
The story unfolds paragraph by paragraph. The readers could feel Lilia's loneliness, almost despair over the situation she was apparently thrust into by powers she could not explain. Then, she knew the dreams would be her personal nightmares.
The quotation was well interpreted and woven into the story to yield a creepy story that is not too impossible to believe in this day and age.
AI runs amok. It will enslave the populous whereby thoughts, plans, dreams and destinies are controlled.
Observation:
"She even believed in her idea she maybe be in a sort of time warp, [when where] time discontinues for a while."
Parting Thoughts:
I felt exhausted for poor Lilia. What a traumatic event in time that she is forced to live. Might as well say she found herself trapped inside, with no possible way out ... of the Matrix.
A flight to Mars. Sounds like it would be a fun read.
Further Thoughts:
I guess that dream was not to be. Seriously, losing such a great opportunity for a possible $20 part?!!! How sad. It sucks the air right out of the reader's lungs.
I like the realism of the voices in command with the instructions ordering the override to abort the mission. Good effects for added sci-fi presentation.
Observation:
"We will not for [fire] up the Merlin," I replied."
Parting Thoughts:
This was a relatively short story, but it did give the reader a clear picture of what was going on. Sadly, we readers will not be on this mission to get the Mars' landing experience with this crew.
Conclusion:
Good use of the quotation. Fast paced and vivid imagery!
The brief description shows the reader that something magical may be happening in the story.
Further Thoughts:
Your story about a Cat Witch and the Biscuitville dogs, would be quite an appealing story for children. It's a unique interpretation of the quotation prompt.
"He couldn't sleep because a million dreams were keeping him awake. Quake would Dream of a land where dogs were inferior to humans" Oh, what a nightmare for a dog to dream -- a million times! The reader is feeling the dogs' painful existence of no relaxing sleep, but rather of dreaming of life where dogs are unloved and treated less that what they deserve.
Parting Thoughts:
It's a story of good Vs evil, dogs vs cats. Witches vs dogs? Not all witches are dog haters.
I like how the dogs got together and decided enough was enough. They sought their freedom from that wretched curse and got the cat-witch to reverse it.
Conclusion:
Unique use of the quotation prompt -- a fine children's story!
I love how the brief description pulled me into the story. A romance story with an unexpected ending, indeed!
Further Thoughts:
Adele and Will are a lovely couple getting past the awkwardness of meeting at a shared cafe table. There was shy, cynical attitude that could be noticed by the reader about Adele. She was not one to jump right into a romance. The fact that she's in her mid-forties shows her careful waiting for the person she would allow herself to fall in love with.
Will is a charming gentleman with an interest in getting to know Adele better. He was quite persuasive in getting her to converse while they partook of their meal. It wasn't long before Adele was able to relax around him and actually enjoy his company. And so the story begins. They would meet again and date and eventually marry.
Parting Thoughts:
It's a shocker that grabs the reader by the shoulders and shakes her to the core. Even upon learning the true age difference, my thoughts went toward the usual horror show characters that are over three hundred years old.
Happy to know this one had a different twist.
The ending was bittersweet. I felt sad for Will, but true love did enter Adele's life.
"The Dream Recorder" Interesting title that got my attention. Personally I cringe at the idea of someone being able to record our dreams which may contain some of our most private thoughts. That however, is the reason I was anxious to read this story to find out how this invention would work in the lab with real patients wanting remember or forget certain dreams.
Further Thoughts:
All of my nightmares over such an invention came true as I read the story. Wow, a Dream Recorder actually stealing others dreams? Things can get out of control when there's interference with the natural process of the human mind.
Observations:
"Walter kept following around Jason wherever he went too." A better sentence structure would be, Following Jason around.
“I’m not looking at porn. At not while I’m at work.” Not while I'm at work.
"Some pretested for Jason, but most weren’t." protested
Parting Thoughts:
This was quite an interesting read. It had some scary stuff in a world where AI is gaining ground. Do we really want our thoughts and dreams categorized?
Conclusion:
It's scary,yes! But, it's a good interpretation of the quotation prompt.
I was perusing your portfolio and this title caught my eye. I happen to love the color red. It's everything you described in your essay. Red is a sign of love, celebration,beauty in nature and also a sign of danger.
What a fabulous universal color to capture one's attention globally. Even the red hourglass on a Black Widow spider is beautiful.
I enjoyed this read and all the information given about the color red.
Good Job and quite interesting!
Until next time--write on!
Regards,
WebWitch
P.S. This story is also in your portfolio in the B-item format. We had talked about that in regards to The Bard's Hall Contest. That's all you need to do to enter.
I am reviewing your entries entered into "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our June Blog Month contest.
Kudos, for starting a Bard's Hall Blog book to make it easier for us to follow along! Great job adding poetry and videos to along with the entries.
You did a wonderful job introducing us to your life's daily joys and struggles. I was praying for you during your health concerns. So glad the wound has gotten better. I know someone down South who struggled for months with a stubborn wound that just wouldn't seem to heal. Thankfully it has mended after much wound care help and antibiotic therapy.
Your videos added creativity plus educational information about Gender equality and sacrifices made at the cost of a life. Dedicated to helping women in countries whereby their rights and freedoms are not considered.
I always enjoy your poetry additions. You have such a gift writing poetry. It amazed me that so much of your sleep is restricted, yet you seem to have an energy within that keeps your mind open to the world around you, and an ability to record it through your poems.
The Prayer Box -- what a great idea. You are far more organized than I can imagine myself being.
"Patience is another problem I have." You're not the only one with this problem.
You're right about when problems need solutions, prayer is always the best advice. It's where I turn each and everyday.
You've done a terrific job adding entries throughout the month of June.
I am also reviewing your entries as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our June Blog Month contest!
My Thoughts:
You say: "Entries about ordinary, mundane events and days. My life isn't that exciting!"
I beg to differ with you.
I thought your blog was well crafted. The imagery you painted with your words was wonderful tour through your daily life. I don't tolerate heat well, so I felt the sweat as you described the unusable sun screen on the balcony.
You came up with the most clever ways to skip doing dishes. I know how you feel. I don't have a dishwasher up North and I do a great job keeping up with the daily dishes. However, holidays like we are having now in the US, seem to produce so many pots and pans. Those make it all look impossible to tackle. I have to get those out of the way to find the regular dishes used for the meal. I have to admit, after those were done, I just left the plates and flatware sit and soak overnight because I was on my feet all day cooking and went to be.
I'm so sorry about your step mother's dementia. I just lost my sister-in-law to Alzheimer's. It's so tough having a loved one going through that. My brother is devastated over his loss of her.She wasn't that old, either.
Parting Thoughts:
I love that you started a Bard's Blog book It was easy to follow along You added creative touches that made it pleasing to the eye with videos and Gifs. The entries were very informative of your not so dull life after all!
I found your item while perusing the Comedy Genre page. It's title just brought out the French in me!
Initial Thoughts:
I needed to know what Jean's tempting choice would be as the brief description alluded to. (Shame on me ending that sentence with a preposition.)
Further Thoughts:
How interesting that Jean had the foresight to require an answer to nature's call at that moment. Clever: Jean Dupont French version of "John Doe"
I love how you, the author, came up with such a quirky story line. You've conjured up such a spirited apparition of youth and beauty, (albeit scary) to be Jean's seducer.
Parting Thoughts:
I love that it's a romantic-comedy mix.
I love how the man who went through 6 other wives was quite happy with his present version of the Madame.
Conclusion:
Amusing tale with a fine ending that, well frankly, probably saved his life in the long run.
I am highlighting your story in the upcoming Comedy Newsletter.
The title and brief description pull the reader right into the poem. Love the idea of an Autumn Lullaby. It's a season of nature's waning. It does not die without first displaying bountiful foliage of colors.
Further Impressions:
Lullabies are soft and sweet and help to soothe spirit. This one is soft, as a sweet melody, yet it focuses on the dying part of autumn as it relates to one who ended life on a rope hanging on a tree. That death personified the ugliness that had been thrown upon another during life. That person battered and bitter bids adieu with joy.
Parting Thoughts:
The rhythm and rhyme were spot on.
The poem itself is dark, yet does so in a soulful melody woven within the lines shining a light on how there is sometimes beauty in death.
Conclusion:
I am reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review.
Initial Thoughts:
The title caught my attention, so I decided to take on the read and review of this item.
It is intriguing the " The Anti-noise Voice."
Further Thoughts:
The poem is a free verse. I do enjoy a well-crafted free verse poem. This was kept my thoughts and images blooming within my mind's eye. Very strong word combinations bring the poem to a flourish at the end.
Observations:
"Like the shape of kind heart of the sun" This line is a little awkwardly stated. Perhaps Like warmth of a kind-hearted sun. I'm sure you can come up with something better to take the awkwardness of the line away.
Parting Thoughts:
I believe the First verse is probably a little weaker than the other verses as per the last line stated above. However, the impact of your second and third verses seem to bring it on giving the reader a feeling of urgency and then leading to a softer conclusion.
Love this:
"It is like the ancient pine trees' dance that cannot be rendered by heavy snow" Lovely!
&
"It passes through minds' clouds to kiss the heart of our soul" Perfectly peaceful, soft whisper of an ending.
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our May Original Photo and Haiku contest!
The Photo:
A very expressive photo op for a curious cat! Something's got her attention, obviously.
Love the way the cat is so relaxed in her surrounding. She's probably looking at the shoes that came in that bag and were removed so the furry one could take over the secure little home. But then, maybe she's wondering what to do with the shoes if she gets a hold of them!
Beautiful model with the perky white markings.
Expression is heartwarming.
The setting is homey and welcoming.
The curiosity is apparent.
The Haiku:
This is the traditional Haiku, 5-7-5 syllable count within three lines.
Meshes well with the photo. She doesn't seem to mind the tightness of the box. Looks more like she's quite secure in it. But, yes, she's spotted something and may make a move for it. I wonder if some kitty treats were also removed from the large bag on the table and shown to her.
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our May Original Photo and Haiku contest!
The Photo:
Geese and chicks walking a pathway to a place unknown. Nothing seems to threaten them. They are traveling along at their own pace, finding things to eat along the way. It's the sweetness of spring upon nature and new life.
The Haiku:
Traditional 3 lines, 5-7-5 Haiku.
The poem pulls my eyes right back to the photo as the threat of death was hitting birds through Bird Flu. Now I have to wonder if the ones on the road escaped the danger and are moving along life's road without a care. Perhaps they escaped the Flu and feel freedom in front of them. But it is decided that spring always brings new life. That's always the beauty of nature. Images have so many interpretations. Your poem fit nicely accompanying the photo.
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our May Original Photo and Haiku contest!
The Photo:
This is a photo of a tree planted by your Dad, who let it grow from a twig to a wild and crazy expression of "I'm my own branches and leaves ... let me grow how I wish." That's what popped into my mind while gazing at it. The tree displays metaphorically how strength and determination can survive difficult living situations.
The Haiku:
Well-penned to match Daddy's Tree."
Traditional 3 lines, 5-7-5 haiku.
Represents to the reader how a wild and crazy growing tree is appealing to this Dad since he grew it from a twig.
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our May Original Photo and Haiku contest!
The Photo:
Lovely capture through your lens. Those blooms are so perfect for the poem written along. The Bleeding Heart vine stands front and center showing off its red to purple petals. The background does not override the flower. It remains out of focus so the flower gets top billing.
The Haiku:
Traditional Haiku, 3 lines, 5-7-5 syllable count. Nature is woven into the lines.
However, besides the obvious Haiku format, this poem adds a clever message that reminds us that May is also the month of loss and sacrifice by our war heroes.
I LOVE how you took the bleeding heart plant and reworked it as a way to represent a purple heart. It does indeed have that aura surrounding it.
Great word choice within those 3 short lines. Wounded, hanging, spilling, overflowing ... the kind of words that paint clear pictures in this reader's mind.
Review!
I am also reviewing this item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our May Original Photo and Haiku contest.
The Photo:
This image evokes such feelings of honor, sacrifice, bravery and sadness. Seeing such beautiful flowers from those who care, love, remember adds to the serene beauty of the captured photo.
The Haiku:
Traditional 3 line, 5-7-5 Haiku form.
Love that it meshes well with the photo. And, since Memorial Day is more than just a weekend for grilling, it reminds us to remember those who sacrificed their lives through their honorable service.
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our May Original Photo and Haiku contest!
The Photo:
Those are gorgeous blooms!Love how the camera captured their petals in such detail. It looks like they are pointing to the beauty and brightness of the blue sky above and watching the clouds in contemplation of some thirst quenching rain.
The Haiku:
Perfect click in the reader's mind between image and poem. The Haiku makes the reader want to visit with the lovely blossoms and linger a bit longer as well. I like the way the second line is formatted with the em dash used for a pause before the word "dinner." Dinner in fact is being paused.
Some moments in life are worth the extra time invested.
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our April, Children's flash fiction contest.
Initial Thoughts:
A cute little story about an Easter Bunny worried about the children not being able to have their annual Easter Egg hunt due to rainy weather.
Further Thoughts:
Rules followed?
A children's story?
Within 500 word count limit?
Prompt Words highlighted?
Parting Thoughts:
You spun a magical ending where the piglet and bunny work together and have a solution to children being able to have Easter Egg hunts no matter how bad the weather may be on Easter.
Conclusion:
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