Very nice poem. I believe most would want to see it as a poem is usually written. ala...going down the page. You can change it when your editing skillz kick in! ima give ya 1000 gp so if you need to send someone some youll have it!!! good writing here at WDC. a very good site!
I found it to be an easy read. Your writing style is pretty good as I see it! May be best if you keep sentences all the same (black) color---throws reader off a little. Or it does me. Nice descriptive's and conversations. Pretty much problem free. Are you gonna add to it? Over all, Liked it a lot!
i like this piece because it's well written. never really heard of the weather that year. I live in ne arkansas and we have a st. francis river run right by where i live nowadays. Anything involving an almanac, a river, farm life and such , i tend to enjoy!!!
ive been on a tear to come up with my own business now for several years. and since i know i will never see india, i may just succeed one day. I do have my own product, i created outa the blue, cant find things just like mine on the web, so we'll see!!! What was wrong with the shoe venture, was that in india too, was leather the problem, Oh religion, the downfall! enjoyed reading your piece!!!
alright. great piece, i was hoping you'd do a piece like this, and you did. Very well written, very informative and the piece doesn't seem rushed at all. Kudos for that! Makes one actually want to visit the Philippines. I hope you and your family survived the whirlwind of a storm that just flew through!
I think i have not reviewed you yet, congrats on the newbie win!!! A great writing and hope to see a lot more from ya! Seems everythings in place, nice little story told in the right manner, what is your favorite genre...and i have found this site works extremely well on a daily basis...unlike others...congrats again!
great story, very great unexpected ending too! wouldn't be surprised if it went that way at some point in the future! They do just keep making them smarter! My first job in 1981 led me into their computer room for report printing at night. by end of 1982 i let the job go to return to the floor with everybody else, spent several years without any computers in my life, when the internet hit i thought i better get it in gear. Good little story!
any writing that is about real world items always intrigues me. Just as lighthouses always have since i was knee-high to a grasshopper! Great little piece of writing here. Ill always wonder how the great pyramids were built, and how things were made from metal , like guns in the low 1800's, things like that are just mind-blowing. very good! Or how a lighthouse can be 450 feet high?
wonderful little piece! I liked the premise of the story. womans just asking for trouble tho. think of family gatherings..lol! I've never read a story wrote like yours was. So we'll just leave it at that! But i wouldn't hesitate to read any other of your writings!
I read over the selections before choosing this one. The story threw me into reminiscing about thriller movies where clues are left for the cops (kiss the girls)...and im no good at guessing games!..I like the way youve written and i will read a few more to see how i truly feel. truly unique premise for a book! or short stories!
yes! someone who takes the time to make a good detailed list of things in their story. would much rather read something like this b4 i ever read a story! Ive done this myself, it helps me get things straight and provides quick reference if i forget a name , or a place or a date! kudos
great job! I researched how to write a screenplay several years ago..looks like everything i learned is in your screenplay. and whats not to like about j michael...read his book over and over and over, it was so informative. the bible! I didnt notice any misspellings or bad punctuation and ill read more at a future date. ahhh just to sell my screenplay!
i had no trouble feeling this persons anguish...which is a good thing for you...but not good for me in real life.!!! I had to give it two reads..i failed to figure out if the anguished person was male or female...then i saw him call myra, myra...Only mispelling was in the 3rd to the last line...lags....think you meant legs!! write on!
the first witch story ive reviewed on wdc. Am very impressed with your writing and writing style. It's not hard to realize when your reading an accomplished author...which you are..i only looked at your suitcase count after i read the story! Everything flowed perfectly, a little humor thrown in and all was tied up at the end. very well done!
oh well..so much for captain prell. all the way through i was wondering hows this gonna end. now i know. its well written, didnt remind me of a star wars sci-fi bit..which is hard to do these days...but the beaming up did remind me of a star trek story...but you did great!
very good dude! i even know people who deserve to have this done to them. I had no trouble reading your story or keeping interest. It just seems over the last thirty years R.E.S.P.E.C.T has just left the american scene. whats the word....people i know under 30 just seem to wanna be drunks or dope addicts...or feel owed something. But great little story!
very good! Been a computer geek just about all my entire life, now 51. My first job out of high school in 81 led me to a second job within the greeting card co. In the computer room. No working knowledge of a computer at the time i found it easy and exciting. yep a black screen with the little square. All we did was print efficiency reports for the big co. I simply cant imagine a computer before the 1950"s good article!
okayy...did you have to end it that way.jk. You had me remembering all the patching up as a small boy...Lets just say several times over doubled for moi...very careless i was. Your ending was a total shock..but im sure lots have been took in that form. kind leaves me blank..but a good blank though!
i gave it a read. nice little story and is well written! i always ask is this stand alone or part of something bigger? when i get a chance ill give some more of your works a read! for such a short story you managed to have several characters..always a plus!
i like westerns..even though i hardly watch them. nice writing style you have. nice little story you've got here...as im so often asked..is this just something you've written or could it be expanded upon...i liked it alot. very enjoyable read for me! I'll take a look at some other reads at a later date. I have an item in my port called "daizy James...set in circa 1873...give a quick read if you want!
So..you're a writer. Thought provoking to say the least! I'll have to take your word on the men being cheaters...I never have. Just keep on and get another one up.
I read it! Wasn't bad at all..i can tell you have writing abilities, or we wouldn't have your story!.It read good..noticed no spelling errors. So you obviously like to write! Thats half the battle. Add more..or it may be satisfying to come up with something totally opposite. Anyway keep writing. I have a poem in my port "A Seniors Poem"...wrote it in my senior year in school in 1980. Many good reviews on it at WDC. Not bad for a 17 year old. Wish i would have done more writing. And maybe done something with the poem I just recently found. Keep on and dont be sorry 20 years from now. You are a writer, was a pleasure.
Decent little writing. Are these true feelings you feel about your life? Cos when i finally breathe a sigh of relief its like i have someone tell me..." hush..your breathing bothers me"..lol.when the page was brought up i thought .a poem..but it wasnt. I think we all need a breath of relief...everyday...nowadays!
It reads well enough. I struggle alot with decriptives and language ...but u dont.! Why no title..? Will it be a short story or beginnings of a novel. Give me a notice when u title it and decide where its going!
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