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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/watermelons1
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104 Public Reviews Given
104 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I enjoy reviewing all sorts of media of all genres and lengths with a speciality in poetry. With me as a reviewer you can count on receiving in depth, constructive response to your pieces. Before I write one word of your response I must become deeply and thoroughly immersed in your writing. I will consider aspects such as Originality, Punctuation, Creativeness, Things I enjoy about your piece and Things you could do to improve your work. All reviews will be at LEAST 1000 characters long.
I'm good at...
I have a speciality in reviewing poetry and things of a similar nature.
Favorite Genres
Spiritual, reflective, emotional.
I will not review...
There is not anything I will not review! Never dismiss anything if it's not your thing. You could be walking away from the best thing you have ever read!
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Alfred Must Die!  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:
Hi Inkwell here!
I really did enjoy this read however I'm somewhat torn. I did very much so enjoy its poetic influence but I cannot help but wonder what this could become if it was developed in a different artistic medium such as a story. I think it would make a gripping read and should definitely be something to be considered.

What I Liked:

I loved more or less all of this. At first I thought it would have a rhyme scheme as there was the occasional paring.There isn't any clear structure but that is what give this piece its story like charm I feel. I was well and truly immersed in this. The grammar and punctuation have no obvious faults and its quite unique in regards to content.

Things to be improved:

Initially I cannot think of anything to improve on this poem. However I do think maybe a story development or maybe one inspired by this work would be a great addition to your portfolio.
Keep up the good work!


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2
2
Review of "Hide"  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:

Hi, Inkwell here reviewing for "OPEN HOUSE" Open in new Window.!
Despite being Pagan myself, I find reading spiritual poetry about higher powers other than those of my beliefs like a breath of fresh air. It makes you realise how diverse the world can really be.

What I Liked:

One of the things I like here is the language you have used. It is clear you are trying to enable the reader to experience vivid imagery of what you are trying to convey.


Things to be improved:

There are quite a few things here that I would like to pick up on. The first being punctuation. This piece is not well punctuated and it is clear for me, where the pauses should be. Full stops at the end of each line are also important. Secondly, there are quite a few spelling mistakes in this piece that need addressing.
Lastly, there is a phrase in this work that does not make sense. "in every stream of the sea" a stream is a small running body of fresh water, where the Ocean is the opposite composed of salt water. There are no streams in the sea. This phrase needs a slight alteration to achieve the best result. If you wish to make these changes please don't hesitate to send me a message and I will be more than happy to make alterations with you together so you at least gain some understanding.

Keep up the good work!


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3
3
Review of who I am  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:

Hi Inkwell here reviewing for "OPEN HOUSE" Open in new Window.!
I love the personal aspect poems like this provide. Poems personal to the author give a kind of insight into their lives, and the way their minds work. I did psychology at A level in my first year of college and you'd be surprised how much of a link can be made.


What I Liked:

The story behind this and you as a person has intrigued me. You have used a basic level of punctuation and included some rhyme in your free verse structure.


Things to be improved:

The rhyming isn't as consistent as most would like but that is of course down to personal preference. Remember to add capital letter at the start of your sentences and keep up the good work!


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4
4
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:

Hi Inkwell here reviewing for "OPEN HOUSE" Open in new Window.!

I've not seen many childrens poems here on WDC. It's nice to see the little WDC'ers haven't been overlooked.

What I Liked:

This lovely little Piece really made my day. I'm feeling the need to give it a test run with my three year old daughter.
You have used a good level of punctuation, but maybe a few commas could be added to emphasis the pauses in the stanzas.


Things to be improved:

As mentioned above, a few extra commas may aid it and also aid aesthetically. Keep up the good work!



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5
5
Review of Choices  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:

Hi Inkwell here reviewing for "OPEN HOUSE" Open in new Window.!
This did make me chuckle. Along with a very real message the work portrays, it has a slight comical aspect that i quite enjoyed. Especially at this time of night!


What I Liked:

I like that you have formatted the work to look interesting. I am also in favour of your structure and how you have been consistent with the rhyme scheme. Some work I've reviewed has tried to stick to a rhyme structure but has eventually trailed off.

Things to be improved:

I cant really pick up on anything I would change. The whole thing is punctuated very well and that's usually my first go-to for things to improve.
A really good piece overall and I urge you to continue with your endeavours.



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6
6
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:

Hi, Inkwell here reviewing for "OPEN HOUSE" Open in new Window..
This has got to be one of the most positive, uplifting things I have read to date. I'm extremely pleased your mission for success has inspired you in such a way.


What I Liked:

Basically everything from start to finish. It's a beautiful subject and I wish I had the ability to see things in such a positive light, let alone harness inspiration from such feelings. Its so good to see people writing about their aspirations.

Things to be improved:

The only few things I have to point out here are your lack of punctuation and the unnecessary capital letter at the start of each line. The latter obviously being down to personal preference but as its not generically linked to any poetic structure lots of reviewers will tend to pick up on it and mention it in their reviews. The punctuation point being the only reason ive not awarded this work with a five star rating. Not all poetry requires punctuation but ive not picked up on any specific structure that tells me its not needed.

Keep up the good work and good luck with your career. Photography is a wonderful subject, I studied at A level.




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Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:

Hi, Inkwell here reviewing for "OPEN HOUSE" Open in new Window.!
The fact you can sit down and create a piece of art, in this case poetry about the person you love is highly commendable and incredibly romantic. I really hope the lucky lady sees this one day and realises how much you love her.


What I Liked:

This piece is very well punctuated, the rhyme scheme is good and its generally easy to understand. It makes perfect sense and nothing is out of context resulting in confusion.

Things to be improved:

Maybe instead of "memories remind" change that last word to "rewind". It still makes sense and that way you aren't overusing the word mind in a shorter space.

Keep up the good work!


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Review of Strawberry  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:

Hi, Inkwell here! This is a lovely fun little poem! I do love strawberries. And well done to you for finding inspiration in even the smallest of things. People who have that ability have the best imaginations and with that, comes the best work. Be it poetry, stories or a good old monologue.


What I Liked:

I love the fact you have essentially made something out of nothing. May I suggest maybe starting a poetry collection about fruit? It’s quirky and quite unique. I’ve not come across a fruit collection on WDC of yet.

Things to be improved:

The only thing I can see to really pick up on is your structure. You seem to have written it as a paragraph but it reads as a poem. Try to get it into a new format or maybe research different formats and adapt your poem to the style? There are so many possibilities.
Keep up the good work and keep intriguing the community with your fruity poems!


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9
9
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:
Hi, Inkwell here reviewing for "OPEN HOUSE" Open in new Window.!

Well, this certainly is an interesting spin on things. I was certainly not expecting this poetic tale to end like this!
I really do urge to to create more tales like this. They would make quite a collection.

What I Liked:

I love the fact you've taken something great, put your own personal touch on it and made it even better. I love to review poetry. Its my favourite form of writing to the point I will actively seek it out over stories and chapters. This appeals to me as a reader in every single way.

Things to be improved:

You have used to word "and" and awful lot in this work. When this is overused it starts to sound like a bit of a list. I would highly recommend adding new connectives to replace the word and stop it from sounding so dreary. Also, never start a stanza or a sentence with the word and! its a huge no-no in the world of literature. You have punctuated the piece very well, but a capital letter at the start of each line isn't really needed in this format. The last thing I would recommend is changing some of your commas to full stops and starting a new line. At some points it starts to sound like worlds longest list.

With a few tweaks I really feel this could be the start of something great!

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10
10
Review of Reconciliation  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*

Hi, Inkwell here reviewing for "OPEN HOUSE" Open in new Window.!

Overview:

You can quite clearly see how you have earned your title as a moderator. Your work is everything everyone is trying to get right. Good structure, well presented, punctuated well and grammatically correct. I really am impressed.

What I Liked:

The first thing oon my list of likes is the fact you have used a proper structure. A lot of people are steering clear of that of late only sticking to what they know. So when I come across a piece that has used some adventurous structure it really does make me smile! The fact you used all three prompts for this as a contest entry is also equally as impressive. I would have struggled massively incorporating everything into one piece. But then again, maybe that's why I still have a black suitcase!

Things to be improved:


There isn't really anything for me to critique. Everything has already been addressed. Keep up the good work and adding to the community!

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11
11
Review of Winter  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Inkwell Reviews!*Cat**Witch**Pentagram*


Overview:
Hi,Inkwell here! Reviewing for "OPEN HOUSE" Open in new Window.!
My first impressions of this piece are extremely positive. My guess here is that you are reading the poetry as the Earth? That is how I perceived the piece anyhow.

What I Liked:

One of the many things I like about this work is the language you have used. Sometimes you come across workings that are the result of people trying to add variants of words but end up making no sense. Thankfully you haven't indulged in this activity and everything makes perfect sense in context.

Things to be improved:

There are only two things that have sprung out to me. One being the capital letter at the start of each line. This really is down to personal preference but because its not affiliated with any specific poetic structure, you will find several reviewers may pickup on this.
Secondly, There are two occasions in the poem where you have started a stanza or sentence with the world "And". This is a big old no-no in the world of literature. I would highly recommend swapping them out with more appropriate sentence starters.

Overall a very good addition to the poetic community!


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12
12
Review of CRY  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Inkwell here!

May I just say thank you for creating this beautiful piece of strongly emotional poetry. So much truth can be extracted from the lines. The structure and rhyme scheme fit wonderfully and it all seems to be punctuated fairly well. There are however, tow things I would like to pick up on. One being the capital letter at the start of each line, really its down to personal preference but lots of reviewers will pick up on it instantly as its not part of any generic structure. I know this from experience. Secondly the last line in the poem; personally I feel it would flow better as "However so they try". Once again its all down to preference. Well done on this lovely moving piece and keep up the good work!


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13
13
Review of Inside  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Inkwell here!

This is a very deep and reflective piece and its good again to see the very real issues that even the positive people in life, can be sorely misunderstood. This can lead to a whole slippery slope of issues for the person themselves and everyone around the.
There are a few things here I wish to bring to your attention. Firstly you don't need to start each line with a capital letter. I myself have been guilty of this a few times but in my experience a lot of reviewers will pick upon it quite quickly.
Secondly you have not punctuated this poem at all and if you read it through it can be perceived as worlds longest sentence. Capitals at the start of each point you make, add commas to show your readers where to take a pause so you're reading at the same pace, effectively keeping them on the same page. Finish your sentences with full stops as to end the sentence or stanza.
This is obviously a free verse poem with no rhyme, so its important its punctuated well or it can make little to no sense.
Overall its a good little piece but with some editing and improvement im sure you can develop this into something wonderful. Write on!


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14
14
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, Inkwell here.
This was a lovely little read. As all good pieces it's left me reeling with questions. Why so much washing? Does she have a big family? Does she help care for people? Why does she appear sad at the end? Is her home life bad? So many things id love to know the answer to.
Theres only a few things I can pick up on here that personally I would change. You use the word lugging along with a comparison to caskets. I don't really feel its the appropriate word for what you were trying to convey. If you were at a funeral and someone was lugging caskets, there would be an absolute uproar!
The other is where your commas are placed. I place them where I want the reader to take a slight pause. Im unsure if this hasn't been done fully, or I've just got a different tune in mind when reading the stanzas. Overall a lovely piece for my first review of the day. Keep the good work coming!


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15
15
Review of My Fire Burns On  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Inkwell here,

This is extremely impressive for a 5 minute throw together. The emotive language you have used is beautiful and really brings to life the message you are conveying.
It is a short, sweet piece and the use of colours to match feelings like crimson gives the reader a real insight to how powerful love and lust can really be. Passion is the best medicine but the worst poison.
The only thing I can detect that needs to be changed is the fact you have started a line with the word "and". This is a huge No in the world of grammar and punctuation but it is also the only thing I can detect bar the fact that commas are needed to create pauses in your stanzas.
This seems like it could be a great path for you to take. You obviously have a flare for romantic poetry and I feel with more development you could even make a collection. That would be a great addition to you profile. Overall a great read and I urge you to create more great content for the site! Keep bringing flare and showing what us registered authors are capable of!


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16
16
Review of Samantha's Pet  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, Inkwell here,

Well.. I certainly wasn't expecting that. Here I am expecting to read about a sweet love story that resulted in a Great Dane puppy. but here we are!
kidnap, betrayal and a really weird turn out.
I don't tend to review stories as a regular poetry reviewer, but I think I may have to start after this.
You've put a really good twist on this story. I suspected something may happen with her name being Lilith, but was pleasantly surprised you took it to a new level. Ive not seen anything quite like this well...ever!
It appear you have punctuated this extremely well and I think this personificates the Ideology that all women are looking for that "perfect" partner in life to keep.
I urge you to develop on this and maybe add a new chapter or segment! Will bob ever escape? Where on earth did she find a unicorn? Will it aid his escape? there are so many questions I'm dying to know the answer to. Overall a brilliant read! keep up the good work!
17
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Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Inkwell here.
I absolutely love this piece. It portrays such a lovely story. At first, I saw only the comedy of it, its nice to have something to make you smile in the evenings. as I read on, this piece gave me a pang of sadness. This portrays a very real issue regarding the abandonment of animals and how they cant understand how they have been left behind. Its actually made me tear up a little as an obsessive cat lover.
This has been such an excellent read for my first review after having my son.
The piece is well written, punctually and grammatically correct and I have next to no constructive criticism to give. Its obvious to see why this was given first place in the named competition.
This work is unique in its own way, definitely from what I have observed here on writing.com. Its got a lovely creative flare and was a pleasure to read. Please continue to grace the site with such wonderful poetry, and I hope this inspires other readers as it has me to include very real issues in beautifully presented work.


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18
18
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Evening Max,

Firstly can I say well done on creating this lovely short tale. My preference lies with poetry and I have never been one for christmas stories ( I'm a bit of a grinch). However I actually thoroughly enjoyed this little read.
As well as having a lovely storyline, It is well presented, has appropriate and correct use of grammar and uses imagery very well due to the endless amounts of emotive language.
You have even managed to teach me a new word, which is something not many pieces on here have done. I'm hoping I find a use for the word parishioners before the end of my days.
Thank you for sparking my interest in short stories once again and finding a way to make me somewhat more festive. I may even try writing one of my own sometime.
Keep it up,
Inkwell.


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19
19
Review of Serious  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, me again!
you've done it again,you are definitely going in my favourites. What i like here is that you havent specified what feeling this is explaining exactly. im getting the message that it is negative or painful, but im still unsure. this is excellent as more people can adapt this piece to their own situation with gives them more of an appreciation for the words we write!

keep creating!


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20
20
Review of Single  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi, inkwell here!
Ive now come across a few of your short poems. Im liking them so far, I love how you are including so much emotion in so few a word. Things of all types relating tothe emotional pain are very popular at the moment, so many people relate to the things people create as it expresses their feelings in a way that maybe not even they could explain.
keep up the good work!


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21
21
Review of Encounters  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi, Inkwell here!

Generally I like the poem, The theme is very popular, it's definitely something i would search out to read.
However I do have a few questions.
"Even all the encounters in the world
Are meant to be a fated reunion
Like a recursion" - This part doesn't really make sense to me. I can certainly see what you are trying to say, but maybe change the wording? you have no rhyme scheme here so I cant see this posing to much of a challenge.
My second mini-nag is, The last three lines, literally make no sense at all. I cannot even begin to comprehend what is meant here. A change is needed desperately.
Overall its a good starting point for an excellent piece of poetry. Please work on it and keep creating!


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22
22
Review of Sin City  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hi Inkwell here,

well I certainly wasn't expecting that! This could be the start of something quite great if you choose to develop and add to it. I cant see any obvious grammatical errors and it is very well written. I really do urge you to continue this further as I can see it being a very good story.


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23
23
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hi Inkwell here,
I love the description here. Really good emotive language has been used to create this picture. I do, however have a few things to pick at.
You described it at fist as being winter crisp, but then referred to the breeze being warm? there are a few contradicting errors in this. Also you have used the phrase "tarnished beard". Tarnished is scratched, like the loss of shine of a gold ring. I don't think a beard can really be tarnished.Finally, there are no capital letters. None where they are meant to be at all.
Overall this is a good piece but it really needs some development and proof reading.
Keep writing!


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24
24
Review of Spectrum  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a really interesting piece! Id love to see more like this with a deeper meaning. Its good to read between the lines but when people can write between the lines to an audience that understands something amazing is created. Please keep creating great content!


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25
25
Review of Herding Cats  Open in new Window.
Review by inkwell Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is great! perfect for cat lovers. Really shows how they all have their own completely different little personalities. I think we have a lot to learn in the sense that animals are a lot more like us than we think. This was a lovely little read and i urge you to keep writing.


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