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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/watchingwx
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9 Public Reviews Given
14 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by watchingwx Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ohhh, a misspelled word *Frown*
(ture in the sentence that begins "Wishes that weren't.....)

Good rhyming would be easier to see if the lines and paragraphs were broken differently.

If not for those two minor faults, I would have rated this a 5.
Your words are like a punch in the gut to me. Very stirring and personal. Your feelings are conveyed to a T.

Keep writing, I love it!
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Review of Goodbye  Open in new Window.
Review by watchingwx Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Negative first: the word you want is 'bear', not 'bare'.

I've been the person in the poem. The thoughts and feeling are exactly what I've been through. The sadness of the situation is captured perfectly. Not a lot of words. Not complicated. Simply stated, weariness, fatigue, emptiness, hopelessness, and the anticipated coming sweet relief.
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Review of Bleed  Open in new Window.
Review by watchingwx Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt, a bunch of them actually.
Anger, disappointment, it's all there.
Very direct and to the point!
I very much like the subtle unspoken message in the last line, that if we do as described won't feel hurt, but the side effect is that we don't feel love either.
Well done!
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Review of Bliss  Open in new Window.
Review by watchingwx Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow. Powerful stuff. Reading this made me get angry at the person.
Butterflies, lies, attitudes, pretend: all real life stuff we've all experienced.
Short phrases and the rhyming make the poem an easy read.

I am a bit confused by the last two lines. There seems to be a very big leap between recounting the memories and the damage you live with, to Blissful Ignorance.
So, what are you going to do to achieve this ignorance, suicide? No, because you say you are moving on.

I would be more satisfied with the ending if you could somehow have tied your moving on to the blissful ignorance you seek.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/watchingwx