Lovely story, moving and memorable.
Right people never meet while the wrong ones never know their true nature. It is an irony that plays through life.
Waves of memories submerge Edward as he starts reading this last letter (presumably) from Sarah, who once was his true love.
It is futile to expect others to understand the pain of another. Yet, one keeps on hoping.
"He wished he had just one person that could hold him and understand his loss but no one knew his pain."
Language is sparingly used and not a single space is redundant.
Sentences evolve with spontaneity and feelings, well contained.
Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary, dear Tornado!
You remind me of my own experience. Also, this is not just one time experience. This longing , this yearning lasts for life and still not enough.
It is assuring to feel the beloved’s touch, giving courage and confidence to deal with difficulties and unsavoury situations.
“At any chance since it’s never too much.”
Imagery is visual. The sense of touch plays a dominant role.
A scary tale of abuse prevalent in the family. Poverty and abuse are a powerful arsenal used against a thirteen-year old girl is truly touching.
Hi, I am Jaya and chose this tale to review for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this occasion.
Have a nice day!
Both women are victims of father who is ruffian and a drunkard. There is still no remedy to reform abusive men engaged to bring fear and anxiety into their homes.
I can actually visualize the events taking place in the house behind closed doors.
" and stepping on me as he tries to enter to bedroom. "
Clearly, she is in the bowels of hell with a father acting like a pig.
This tale shows the necessity to eradicate domestic violence and gender discrimination spread everywhere.
Education and economic freedom alone can liberate women from the net of viciousness cast around them.
Hi,
this is an unfinished story that you could end with more interesting experiences with your siblings.
I notice the beginning is good and paragraphs that followed showed the street scene in winter where snow went deep.
" I suddenly disappeared in the snow,"
It is fun to imagine what happened later. Your siblings didn't find you as you disappeared folded by the snow.
Could you make your way up? or were you taken on a time travel adventure or like Alice, went down the rabbit hole to step into a whole new world?
Edit-
"One of my favorite is the time my sister, Carmen and my brother, Miguel lived in Elmhurst, Queens."
(One of my favorite experiences is the time spent with my sister, Carmen and my brother, Miguel. We lived in Elmhurst, Queens.)
Meditation has a deep effect on body and soul as visualized in this short verse.
Hi, I am Jaya and I review this poem for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this nice occasion.
Have a wonderful day.
Once you close your eyes and let the mind wander to a favorite place, person or God, you start feeling a sense of relief seeping into the self and spirit.
"Shed your transient disguises:
Name, person, duty."
Surroundings are forgotten and the present vanishes taking you to a place of solace.
"Clean, golden, pure."
The benefits of sitting quietly are well conveyed by the poet.
"Transient disguises" well describe the temporary body and the world around.
Joy of being positive is what I witness here.
Short and crisp, woven with right words and facts, this poem flows well.
Imagery is visual.
Hi, I am reviewing this poem for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this big day!
Have a wonderful day!
One of the listed things arrests my attention. That is,
"Hidden in her words is the way she truly feels, her love grows beyond what is real.."
Problem arises if her love is beyond the real, when it becomes complicated. In a world where people find it difficult to understand plain spoken truths, it is almost impossible to see the true feelings beyond the mundane.
I absolutely understand this because I do connect with the above line.
The "mask" is a part of her personality. Feelings are hidden from the world, even from the beloved.
The refrain "Hidden" dominates the poem. Obviously, it is her reality, though difficult to live with.
Everyone has an untold story hidden in their hearts. This fact is well delineated through this free style poem.
This prose poem affects me in a strange way. It made think of my life, the way I had spent most of my youth. My self reflection shows a few mistakes I made, wrongly judging situations in life that I could have avoided. Love and happiness never deserted me. For that I am grateful to God. This contentment I feel is mainly due to my realization that I was and am blessed in more ways than I could list.
This is a beautiful write up on the passage of time that steals one's youth silently and relentlessly. Yet, it is just the way life flows.
"As the sun is setting on my years I must admit I was a minstrel in my time who could not see the wheels of time fly by."
True. Time is charismatic. There is no taskmaster harder than time. Except for observations, no one can change the dynamics of time.
Very thoughtful and poetic. The reflection and refrain ("the wheels of time flew by") make the whole passage spontaneous and simply effective.
I am impressed by this illuminating article on American political scenario. I also feel concerned of the fall that you predicted.
It is true that this nation had great founding fathers as you have pointed out. No wonder America stood head over heels on the rest of the world. Indeed, the downfall started at not so a distant past.
Greed and selfishness are the key motives why power corrupts. And the president of the United States of America has absolute powers. He/she is the most powerful executive in the world. This enables him/her as you have stated, to render abundant service for the welfare of the people of America as well as those of the world. Many of these ideals have remained in theory except for an occasional ray of hope.
I am surprised and dismayed that the speeches of the leaders have personal attacks on the opposition in a demeaning language rather than the concerns of the nation.
This kind of scandalous behaviour is seen in the halls of power of many countries of the world. Ideals get lost and hope seems to have flown.
In my own humble opinion, the electorate is still powerful by virtue of their voting power. If they use their franchise with discretion, it is not impossible to elect a man of morality and humaneness to be the head of the state.
Change of heart leads to change of career. This to me is the theme of this little story.
There are a number of dimensions to the tale.
First of all, the monk who stole bread makes me think of the question whether he is a thief or not. A thief is supposed to be primarily, selfish. But this person is stealing bread for the poor and the needy. Should we brand him as a thief? It is debatable.
Second of all, did the warrior commit a mistake by letting him go and instead was removed from the post of a guard? Again, there is the question of morality versus rules. To me, he did the right thing but I wonder whether cynics will agree with me.
Third point is that the ex warrior chooses to give up his career to become a monk to spend time in scholastic activities and prayers. To me, it is a wise choice. I would do the same if I were in his shoes.
All in all, it is a thought-provoking story that I enjoyed reading.
This is exactly my experience at the WDC on the web.
After having stumbled on this wonderful site, there is no turning back. Everyday it gives me a chance to write review and communicate. Looks as though I took to creative wings.
Rhyme and rhythm of this limerick is spotless and spontaneous. True and practical facts are fitted in with ease and effortlessness.
Humour shines through.
"For we're itching to write like the hives
As we seek to achieve perfect fives"
Honing the skills is a daily urge and exercise to say the least.
Thank you for a soothing observation via this little verse.
Life is really strange and it is not easy to understand.
I realize that every time I failed or fell, I had something positive coming up.
There are always the two sides of the coin and both have something positive to convey.
"that if not for the fall,
We might have missed,
Smelling the Flowers."
Experience is a great teacher. And each experience makes one a better person.
The use of figures and metaphors enhance the effect of the observations you made.
Definitely a horrid tale happening in the veiled darkness.
Scary is the descriptive atmosphere, the anticipation of terror, the appearance of the strange mythical beast and Ben's desperation and extinguishment took my breath away. I raced through the story chased by curiosity.
It is no story in which the character is rescued but a tale of horror where the he gets killed and eaten. Graphic descriptions include the creature and its mouth in particular.
"There were hundreds of six-inch long, razor-sharp teeth on the edges of its oval-shaped mouth."
It is left to our imagination as to the way in which he must have been crunched in those teeth.
Hi Duchess!
You have fitted in several points of importance into this 55 word prose write up.
Made of five sentences, the flow is furious and the words just flow in.
Cheering crowds, the batting hero on the baseball field, his winsome run to "home", his inevitable bruises, and the final win are shown with clarity and brevity.
There is action, emotion and the environment in these sentences described with verbs like, cheer crack scramble race slide lift and winning.
The long wait of twenty two years has come to fruition, once she passed and joined him on the path of eternal life.
Beautiful poem depicting the loneliness suffered by two separated people caused by death.
"despite her fears
and gazes upon her love, gone two and twenty years."
True love never dies and lasts beyond ashes. This belief unfolds before our eyes as the departed drifting soul finds the right way to the house unpainted, where waits his love ready to join him.
"His path... left, or perhaps right...
then he sees the house unpainted, with beckoning light.
Imagery and narration poetically, are the highlights of this romantic poem.
A lover bemoans his fate of being left alone on a night of longing for the absent lover.
The poem moves as his stream of consciousness takes him on to shores of delight and depression.
Hi Paul! I am jaya and am reviewing this love poem for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you move on to the next year of creativity at the WDC.
Have a wonderful day!
Long lines of verse show the past in all its beauty and the present with its chaotic ambience.
"can we go dancing under this moonlight...?
‘til we’re drenched by the sunrise"
Left alone and pining, his desperation comes through in vivid images.
"“And there’s a heart that’s breaking
Down this long-distance line tonight!”"
Break up or brief separation, it certainly looks like an unfulfilled dream fired by passion.
You had shown clearly that despite precautions there is always a chance to be cheated by an over smart opponent. So, never underestimate a lion.
Fear is the reason why the owner of the house forgot to lock the backdoor. Presumably, the king of the forest has ambled over to the porch, went around the house and found a way to slip into the cool interior, waiting for lunch to appear. It is not disappointed.
Action and feelings are well caught in a sentence.
" I noticed that my back door was ajar. At about the same time, I heard a low, rumbling purr from the back porch. The pizza dropped from my numb fingers."
The last line brings out the desperation in the person.
"I don't have a cat."
This is an inspirational poem, which is quite visual in imagery. You have conveyed the message with transparency.
This review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you start a new year of creativity at the WDC.
Have a delightful day.
After disasters like floods or fire, nature has a unique way to heal and regenerate. So we see the shoots of grass from the same soil that was damaged. This analogy works perfectly for the soul that suffered from "pain and loss."
"yesterday's memories fade,
''''''''''Do thoughts of a new tomorrow arise."
This is so true of life. Time is a healer that erases grief and before long there is newfound joy on the horizon. Great!
Just as dawn appears after a dark night fades, hope too is a star that makes our lives bright.
Hi Lilia,
it is an appealing love story tinged with a strong dose of sadness.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you begin a new year of creativity at the WDC.
Have a lovely day!
Looks like you have started at the very beginning of this love story between two perfect strangers.
A sweet tale that seems to have lasted long till she had to bid her last farewell to him.
But the details are so very alive in retrospect and animated by emotions beyond control.
"He smiled and felt his whole being burning."
Yes, I know what it feels like to meet love on an urgent footing.
You depicted her hesitation and his happiness very clearly indeed.
With her anxious questions and his mysterious silence, it looked like an uneasy journey of love together.
Yet, true love must have taken its course and life flowed with joy, I presume.
True enjoyment of a rose, one which is "red and beautiful within" is recorded in this rhyming verse.
Hi, I am Jaya and I chose this poem from your poetry folder to review for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you begin a new leaf of creativity at the WDC.
Have a wonderful day!
The whole theme of the poem revolves around the red rose that the poet found much to his pleasure.
"I think I found a rose today'
The first line is interesting because of the sound of doubt " I think I found." It must be a hidden rose I presume. I need clarity.
The fragrance and beauty of the queen of flowers dominates the garden and the weeds are no longer a cause for worry.
"No longer do I see the weeds"
So you found the best of the flowers.
A rose is believed to be a symbolic of love. The way this poem progresses gives me the idea that you have found true love finally.
Imagery is the best aspect of this sensitive poem.
Hi,
my review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this nice occasion.
Have a wonderful day!
Time is indeed a subtle thief of not only youth but of memories as well.
That which burns bright gradually simmers down and turns cold, like passion and desire.
That which blooms in beauty withers and dies.
Everything mundane and mortal vanishes.
Faces blur and voices fade.
Time is the eliminator, as I learn from this poem.
Hi,
I have chosen this telling verse to review for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you enter another year of creativity at the WDC.
Have a wonderful day!
Christmas submission card expresses love and affection for the companion. It is aptly expressive of the feelings nurtured together for long years.
A single crystal ornament becomes the conveyor of shining love from the sender to the receiver.
Love that lives forever like the gleam in the ornament is ideal.
"reflecting the radiance
of a joyful universe,"
Alliteration in the first line sits well with the "joyful universe."
Beautifully done.
It flows well with Christmas imagery.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this happy occasion.
Have a nice day.
Dust to dust and ashes to ashes. This body, which is made of up of five elements, namely, fire water wind earth and space or ether goes back to them after death. But the soul, they say enters a womb to be born again. So as you said,
"ashes to ashes
dust to dust
we all
die to live"
It sounds good to listen to the words we all die to live. So the cycle continues.
I feel a wave of sympathy coming over as I read this article. You say you are alone and couldn't find a life partner.
"Plenty of the fault lies within my own consciousness.'
Several reasons surface.
"I've had few chances at reaching a level of contentment,"
Yet, nothing was done to make this idea come true.
"Love is so hard for me to deal with outside of my family circle."
Love of the family seems to have blocked the ways to find someone of your own in an intimate way.
"No one sees the tears when you're crying in the rain."
Presenting an image of joy while suffering in private is another reason to have been left by himself.
What you said in the final line is the only reason that caused life long loneliness.
"...If only I were whole."
Just living a life of truth in a fundamental and basic way really matters. No more false appearances or pernicious pretensions.
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