Through this philosophical poem I understand that there are two definite events for all, i.e. life and death. Death is as certain as life. The two polarities no one can dispute.
"Oh life! How long did I pursue
The end of me the start of you"
The poet loves laughter and peace, yet lives in restlessness.
"My dimming eyes weep on and on"
We can see a mind worried with negative expectations. An ominous feeling about future, which the poet is sure of meeting.
I can visualize the story behind this unending grief, a looming threat to his peace and life.
I am curious to know the details.
The poet's innermost fears are revealed with visual imagery.
Life has many “paths”
We follow the one we are comfortable with.
It could lead to good or bad depending on our character.
On the other hand, the path might be confusing, if there is but one.
In either case, as you say, quite often we do’t know where the path leads us.
So we pray, when in doubt,”lead kindly light.”
With faith in God, we can walk the path with safety and certainty, I believe.
This short and crisp verse is worth contemplating.
I am elated to read your poem YIU'RE MY ROSE from your collection of picture poems. First of all, let me acknowledge my wonder and appreciation for your poetry, which lifts my soul and provides inspiration as to how to look at the world of beauty and love understand its depth.
This poem-
The perceptive observation regarding age and beauty is ever so true. Being beautiful in young age is no great matter, though that too is pleasing. But beauty in old age is whole new level.
"With age your beauty grows" and,
"Our golden years begin,"
I do see such people, whose charm lies in their idea of love, where all the misfeatures of youth disappear and only the light of mellowed sweetness remains, like wine that improves with age.
The person in the poem loves her all the more for what she is today, more beautiful than ever.
I can actually see the couple, such is the visual effect of this poem.
It flows well.
A son's feelings for his departed father are expressed while pondering his "toolbox."
His father's tool box has many memories to carry. He learnt the use of different devices stored in the toolbox.
it was a teacher and pupil relation too. He realizes the importance of fixing things and constructing anew.
His father's appreciation obviously means a lot to the son.
"He was impressed that I had remembered how to use one.'
The sense of gratitude and love for father come through in no uncertain terms.
"I miss him and always will. There is comfort in the thought that he is in a better place and that he is also looking down and chuckling, every time I "borrow" a tool from his old grey toolbox."
Wonderful recap of their life together via the toolbox.
The wind and man are the topics dealt with in this nice sounding poem. Its full effect comes through if recited aloud.
The wind has several shades.
“mournful and lonely”
The poet uses sound imagery to explore the nature of wind.
It is shown as something destructive, angry and unstoppable.
Man is depicted as someone strong with a positive motive.
“Out there a man
Tests his will against nature.”
Two diverse polarities with features of their own.
A self reflective poem on taking care of people and places. Poet's concern to do her Sunday chores as well as attending to her mother come through this brief, but to-the-point poem very well indeed.
"Sundays are for my family
and to clean my home"
Her life is full of positive activity, which she continues to follow despite the restless note at the end. A very normal reaction to the busy schedule she pursues, I imagine.
How many can be this nicely engaged? I can count on my fingers. Very few are up to meeting goals and doing them without feeling the ennui.
The last line has a question to self, which is best left to the poet's discretion.
Free style poem flows well.
Imagery is visual and it shows a variety of things and places from real life.
Lovely verses on true freedom.
Set my soul and spirit free from the daily cares and unwanted futile thoughts.
Let me wander into vistas of beauty, where there is no fear and no concerns.
This is the kind of place, which is sought by the devotee.
"Take my fears
and cast them into the sea."
If the wish is pure and the mind is strong, there is little doubt in achieving what one wants and takes pleasure in.
The sea, where fears are thrown is deep and eternal. Poet's metaphor shows how important it is for her to bury her fears forever.
I like the imagery and the sincere prayer to Lord.
"O God, set me free"
He works through our will and effort to realize the prayer. I can feel the rhythm that sets the thoughts clearly.
Connecting with nature is a spontaneous aspect of life, particularly for those love her. She is everywhere around us if we notice.
I can relate to palm trees and the beach afar. We have a similar scenario . There are those, who walk on the beach everyday and never get tired of the vast ocean changing shades through the day. Its endless blue could be unnerving.
Despite the rush of waves and people around, there is no denying the soothing silence by the sea.
“With only a breeze….all is quite calm.”
It’s a well depicted visual, where you connect with nature effortlessly.
Mysterious happenings with mystic eyes. Mystic eyes spring from magic within. Here is the author ensconced within, observes the way the eyes of the woman works magic on him. They change shade and meaning.
Although eyes are said to be mirrors of the soul, in this strange case, they do not seem to be so.
" Your mystic eyes—like fireflies—float through the room like blessings."
The comparison with fireflies show the eyes that dart from place to place. All the four sentences of this prose concentrated on the way he reacts to the mystic eyes. Finally, they
"drift through the room like curses.
So, what started as blessings turn into "curses. Rise and fall, a natural phenomenon.
Nice story that describes a justified fight to avenge a wrong deed as well as facing the leadership challenge.
Reed was finally able to challenge the dynasty rule in a fight and defeated Wand’s son, who killed his father .
It is a well described fight with every move clearly visible.
Dialog is introduced, where necessary and it takes the story forward. The leadership passes on to the deserving combatant.
This Flash fiction is well written with an appealing background story.
Edit-
“to restrian”
(Restrain)-
“Reed had steeped forward”
(Reed had stepped forward)
Apart from spelling errors, there are lapses with spacing and punctuation.
Spring’s vibes bring joy to a lonely heart. Nature and man alike bloom under the warm sun of spring.
Spring being the time for rebirth, poet’s images of nature are significant.
Feeling the sun, the sky and the sea brings a feeling of “spiritual healing” as well.
How true, indeed.
Standing by the sea, looking across the vast ocean, I see horizon coloured in a sublime way.
The soft wind and an early moon make me aware of this season of refreshing beauty.
Imagery is from real life scenario. I appreciate Splendid description of creation and the Creator too.
Love vanished, memories stayed on. Some get crushed under the weighty past. But not the poet.
“Well, for me, love never ends…”
It’s a shattering experience i.e.losing love.
Yet, time heals and the pain fades by slow measures.
“loss, like a shadow, is finally fading”
Memories fades and regret recedes. No more bitterness. There’s a dawning of recognition, what cannot be endured should of need be given up.
But the trap of memories, here compared to “the sweetest fruit of love’s wine” is ever available in the “dusty cellar”
Wonderful poem evoking memories of time past and present.
I appreciate perceptive imagery and the use of metaphors strewn throughout the poem.
Free style poem flows well.
"Forever love" is just an illusion. Like other aspects of life, there is no perfect love. One is lucky if he or she finds a companion with similar likes and life style. It is generally, the differences in understanding the spouse that cause the rift. Of course, there is always the way to compromise if you like. 99% of the marriages work by adjustment and compromising and telling the self "all is fine, nothing to worry". Besides, there is a sentimental side to it. The marriage oaths, that bind you to a life long companionship (or is it captivity?), come sun or shower. And the question of children looms larger than anything else. You can't sacrifice their security and upbringing by giving way to your motives and often, misunderstood motives.
But the couple in the story live long with each other and on fine day decide to split. That too is ok if you are happy with it instead of repenting later.
Well, this debate can take long. Yet, I enjoyed the story from real life, where I saw marriages breaking after a long years of being together.
I find this meaningful poem quite encouraging and inspiring. Ask me why?
Like the poet I have been planning to go on a spiritual journey to a wonderful place. Now the time is running out and there are obstacles to clear yet.
I am not stopping my efforts and I am sure God will guide me find my path cleared of doubts and human errors.
My bag is packed, I got my credit card and hope to fly off to this much dreamed of destination soon.
"Days, years, decades, I've been preparing--preparing..."
Every line is related to my own present and future plans.
I wish you luck in finding and realizing your goals.
In a few lines you captured the cycle of seasons as well as human seasons.
Everyday brings hope, growth and evolution.
Each sunrise signifies a fresh beginning and each sunset prepares us for the next morning . We witness this universal phenomenon yet never could have enough. Such is the magic of nature.
Seasons slide in and slide out, silently showing change in our lives too.
“Four seasons of change
Four seasons we have”
This poem is a good reminder to evaluate change and its effect on our lives.
We do presume we do well. There is always someone doing much better.
You have shown this time-tested truth by the easily understandable analogy of lines.
“…perfectly straight line
….and the crooked lines”
Imagery appeals because you actually drew the lines and compared.
There are so many people with skills and talents out there in this wide world.
Achieving the absolute best is just not possible.
When the evil that eclipses a girl’s life and world is erased, there’s a new found freedom. Hope begins to surface and joy in life is rediscovered.
“Light shone again,
And hopes were raised.”
A short poem that reveals a young and innocent “fragile mind” robbed by constant bickering, leaving it agonised with fear.
Death of the devil lets her breathe again, be herself without fear.
Poet’s wish to improve himself is laudable.
There’s always room to perform better.
Don’t we all feel that way?
However, few admit to mistakes as is seen in the above lines. We make mistakes because we are human. Also because we are affected by emotions, lack of knowledge, stress and so on. No one makes mistakes deliberately. Often, we commit mistakes as a part of learning process. That’s a positive angle.
Self examination helps us in improving our personalities, I believe.
In one of the essays of Bacon I find, speaking makes a full man, conference a ready man and writing makes an exact man. With these three tools, one can develop clear thinking, which in turn lessen the possibility of making mistakes.
Written like an extended metaphor, this poem gives me glimpses into the kind of life’s journey the poet had.
Starting his river journey in a “sturdy craft”, he hasn’t foreseen the lurking danger.
After unexpected challenges, he, ensnared by a “dreamy love” lets his sturdy boat drift away like a “fragile vessel”.
Despite the “ram of time” he or the boat endured staying steadfast, fearless in “the seething foamy rage”.
The story ends on a happy note. Now older and wiser, he finds himself ashore where
“his heart could please”
Multiple experiences are shown in vivid and appealing images. Life, certainly, is not a bed of roses. Experience is truly the best teacher.
This poem on names sounds significant because what is said here rings true.
People are named differently for different reasons. Some denote virtues like patience, purity or valor.
Some are after months’ names such as june or julia.
This poem is interesting by revealing truths such as its significance or swiftness. Some could be ironically otherwise like a person whose name shows honesty might be the very epitome of dishonesty.
Fantasy is worked into a real life scenario.
I like this story because I too love to pick these odd unique pieces of artificial jewelry. Pearls are obviously a big draw and the lady could hardly resist the bracelet. Hardly did she imagine that wearing it on a special day would bring her vis-a-vis a close relative of a distant past.
The basic elements of writing a short story such as a solid beginning, an interesting middle and a convincing end, are well sewn into this story.
This poem talks of the everyday blues.
Nobody is willing to work with a monotonous routine. It can break some or it can make some,
This is obviously a painful job to attend to on a daily routine.
Another sad factor mentioned here is illness suffered in secret. Hard work in a factory with health issues can make a person miserable.
This poem composed of rhyming couplets has imagery from real life scenario.
There is no punctuation whatsoever. It certainly shows the chaos in the mind.
This story left me wondering as to which side did the menacing man take. Looking at the body language of the guard dog, it is obvious whose side she was on.
The tussle between the opponents seems to involve some serious matter and then it was a real fight. It is left to the reader's imagination whether they were two men or one man and a woman.
Skillfully written avoiding small details regarding the struggle, the author had Kacey in full focus. Her hesitation and confusion were clearly shown.
"She had begun to whine and keen, her uneasiness mounting as she struggled to understand the situation, to decide which one of us needed her protection more.'
Domestic abuse is graphically shown.
Details are shocking. I wonder what ends it and when. Sadism and self importance seem to be the reasons why Dan is so abusive.
But Samantha? Too weak and too naive. Has neither combat skills nor is she street smart to turn tables on her cruel husband. Too moving with her wounds and injuries. She is just another victim with no solutions to end her misery.
When everything looked ok and the storm broke out. Unless put to an end, the abusive man rages on.
The child too would soon be at the suffering end.
The problem is shown with glaring clarity. No solution is suggested. Finding solutions would help thousands of such miserable lives.
I wish I had one for them.
A leprechaun can never be stopped from hiding his gold.
Irish legend of the elf is enchanting forever stirs my curiosity.
The magical elf is always engaged in hiding his gold in a pot under the ground, which cannot be found by the impatient and the ignorant.
I did hear that one must be constantly watching his moves, chase or follow him into the woods and gardens and track the gold.
It sounds so real that one feels like doing the exactly as told in the legend.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.85 seconds at 1:38pm on Feb 21, 2025 via server WEBX1.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
