This is review 2 of 2 from the Holiday Package gifted to you by eyestar~* from Just Because I Want To.
This package comes with the message: "Thanks for being a shining star reviewer In our Spring WDC Review Raid! you rock!"
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
This poem speaks of internalizing emotions and how that can make us who we are. We tend to forgive those that we claim to love, not realizing what it does to ourselves.
IMAGERY:
You did a great job with the emotional imagery in this poem. The pain and torment is felt with every line.
TECHNICALITIES:
There were no technical errors to note. The poem's short, direct lines made it flow well and gave it a nice rhythm.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, this poem spoke to me and that it truly rare in poetry. Well done.
This is review 2 of 2 from the A Little Something Package gifted to you by jannie from Just Because I Want To.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I'm not so sure what is written here would fit under the horror/scary genre, but, as you stated, this is only a section so the piece as a whole might.
IMAGERY:
You did a pretty good job with the imagery, though I think this story would benefit from more description of the scenery and characters so the reader could get a better mental picture.
TECHNICALITIES:
There were quite a few spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Also, I noticed some incomplete sentences and strange sentence structure. Some of the spelling mistakes could be caught by spell check, but others, those that are spelled right but the wrong word such as "the" when you mean "their" need to be caught during editing.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, I think this story definitely has potential, but it does need a lot of work and a lot of editing.
This is review 2 of 2 from the Read All About It Deluxe Package gifted to you by very thankful from Just Because I Want To.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I really enjoyed this poem. Having young children myself, I can easily understand and relate to it. You did a good job of describing your daughter and her actions.
IMAGERY:
I loved the picture you painted for the reader. It's very sweet.
TECHNICALITIES:
There were no technical errors to note. The lines were short and flowed very well.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, this was a very sweet poem and the love you have for your daughter really shines through.
This is review 1 of 2 from the Read All About It Deluxe Package gifted to you by very thankful from Just Because I Want To.
This package comes with the message: "This is a part of your mystery package that you won in the St. Patty's Day Scramble."
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I think this is a great little poem! I like that it is in acrostic style, as that form seems to give an added element to the poem.
IMAGERY:
Very emotional and inspirational. You cheer others on while also cheering yourself on.
TECHNICALITIES:
While there was no specific rhyme scheme or meter, this poem says a lot in a few words. It is so important to encourage others as well as get encouragement from others.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, I think this is a great little poem that would make a beautiful c-Note.
I find this to be a truly amazing tribute to your friend. You were honest and upfront about who she is and what she means to you. I think all of us should take stock in what you have to say and cherish our friendships as much as you do with Adriana Noir.
IMAGERY:
Love is what I see in these written words.
TECHNICALITIES:
I found no technical errors to note, and if there were any, this piece speaks for itself the way it is.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, this is a great piece that I am sure your friend cherished.
I found this very enlightening. This is a great way to show ourselves what we have actually accomplished throughout the year. Most of us to the New Year's Resolutions, but we don't follow up at the end of the year to see, in writing, what we have and have not done.
IMAGERY:
N/A
TECHNICALITIES:
There were no technical errors to note. This piece was free of punctuation, grammar, and spelling errors. It was easy to read and formatted nicely.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, I found this to be very inspiring. I think that we sometimes tend to lean toward what we haven't accomplished and don't look to closely at what we actually DID accomplish.
This is such a sad and beautiful story. The loss of a child is unthinkable, and to have to move on and live life is unbearable at best. You depict these emotions well with a great balance between the emotional depths and the story. Well done.
IMAGERY:
The imagery in this story was amazing. Each word let the reader visualize and emotionalize every scene.
TECHNICALITIES:
I found no technical errors to note. The story had no punctuation, grammatical, or spelling mistakes. It was well formatted, structured well, and easy to read.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, this is such a well written story on a very sad subject. You kept the balance very well.
This is review 2 of 2 from the Read All About It Package gifted to you by Christina~Thanks StoryMaster from Just Because I Want To.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
This reads to me like more of a beginning, or an ending, of a story. You could go a lot of different directions with this, which makes it a very unique piece. I would like to see it more complete and more of a solid story.
I really didn't get to know the characters very well, and I think that would help the reader connect more to the story. As it is, it's just a faceless character with no personality or struggles.
IMAGERY:
The imagery here is purely emotional. It's hard to change direction and go where you haven't before.
TECHNICALITIES:
The only technical error to note was that you are missing a period in the very last line.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, this reads as only a piece of a story and I think it would be great to see it after completion.
This is review 1 of 2 from the Thank You Package gifted to you by ~A.J. Lyle~ from Just Because I Want To.
This Package Comes with the message: Thank you so much for the nomination in "Kiya's St. Patty's Day Giveaway!" . Thanks to you, I won!
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
This is a good flash story, though I would have liked to see the couple's reaction after seeing the headline of the newspaper at the end of the story. I know this had a word count, but I believe that leaving out a few of the descriptions at the beginning and adding the emotion at the end would have really made this great.
Another point would be showing some emotion to not being able to see from the blizzard. Most people have quite a reaction to this.
IMAGERY:
You did a good job with the imagery for such a short piece. I could see and 'feel' the snow and cold.
TECHNICALITIES:
There were no technical errors to note. No punctuation, grammar, or spelling mistakes were found and the story was structure well.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, for the restraints of a contests, this was done very well and I enjoyed reading it.
This is a great forum that focuses on Newbies to WDC. It highlights a number of static item for review each week, and gives out prizes to those that complete them. All WDC members are eligible to join by contacting any one of the group leaders.
I find this forum to be a valuable asset and a nice way for members to view newer items on the site that they may not normally read.
IMAGERY:
I liked the colors and the fonts. It's easy to read and the important information stands out to any visitor.
TECHNICALITIES:
There were no technical errors in the forum to note. It is very visually appealing as well as easy to navigate.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, this is a well thought out and well ran forum and it was my pleasure to review it for you, sis!
I have to say, I was a little lost while reading this poem. There doesn't seem to be a cohesion in theme, and the fact that it doesn't have punctuation, or a structure, only emphasizes that fact.
IMAGERY:
I could visualize some of the lines very well, but others, especially the last, didn't seem to fit with the rest.
TECHNICALITIES:
The technical issues I noticed were only those mentioned above.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, I am one that loves dark poetry and the darker side of human nature, and this could have all that, with a little work.
Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!
Hi Anna-Lea Burns I am here to give you my thoughts on "My Angel" , which was highlighted for review by Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
This is such a sad little poem. Only a person who has lost a child would understand the devastating effect it can have on a person and a family. It's a loss that should not be. No parent should outlive a child. If this is autobiographical, I am truly sorry for your loss.
IMAGERY:
The emotions came through very well. I could easily feel the loss and pain.
TECHNICALITIES:
While I believe having a more even syllable count within the lines would improve flow, the message is still very raw and clear.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, this poem is short, but very touching. Again, if non-fiction, I am sorry for your loss and can understand the pain all too well.
Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!
Hi Maverick I am here to give you my thoughts on "Stranger" , which was highlighted for review by Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
Your poem reminds me of how we all are trying to figure out life and the world around us. We search for normality, only to find that there really is nothing 'normal' and that what we consider normal, or sane, is very relative.
IMAGERY:
I think you did pretty well with the imagery, though I would have liked a little more physical description.
TECHNICALITIES:
The biggest thing for me on a technical standpoint was that some of the line rhymed and some didn't, which hindered the flow a bit.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, while the message of this poem is clear, I think the technical aspects needs some improving to make this more visually and phonically appealing.
Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!
Hi Carrie Ruvio I am here to give you my thoughts on "Karma" , which was highlighted for review by Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I think karma is very important. We should always think about how our words and actions effect others and strive to not intentionally harm or hurt anyone by them.
IMAGERY:
No physical imagery found, but the message is good and the emotions do come through some.
TECHNICALITIES:
I think this would be better if it had more of a structure to it. As it is, it reads sort of jumbled and with a structure of stanzas and some punctuation, this would make more of impact since it does have a good message.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, I think with a little more attention to detail and more of a form, this could be a great poem with an important message.
Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!
Hi Tim Chiu I am here to give you my thoughts on "That Person - Is You!" , which was highlighted for review by Simply Positive.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I really enjoyed the almost hectic, frenzied tone of this poem. It fit well and I think a lot of people can relate to your words.
IMAGERY:
I found our imagery to be done quite well. I could easily visualize the scenes and feel the emotion behind the words.
TECHNICALITIES:
Lines 5 and 6 lack the same rhyme scheme as the rest of the poem.
Also, since your rhymes come in pairs, I would suggest separating this into couplets, which would be more visually appealing as well as making it easier to read.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, this is a well-written poem about a day in the life of an average person. I think with a few tweaks, this could be really great.
Hi nextlevel I am here to give you my thoughts on "Grandfather's Yard" , which was highlighted for review by Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I think this is a cute little nostalgic piece about summers at your Grandfather's house, though I don't think it's a complete story in the typical sense.
There was one part that really didn't make sense to me. You described how wonderful the yard was and so many things to do and see, and then at the end you said without the swing it would be boring. Which is it?
IMAGERY:
I thought your imagery was great. You did a very good job with your description, which painted a wonderful picture for the reader.
I really enjoyed the descriptions you used for the gardens.
TECHNICALITIES:
I found no technical errors to note. The piece flowed fell and the structure was simple and easy to read.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, I thought this was a nice memory for you to share with the rest of us.
Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!
Hi zabdos I am here to give you my thoughts on "seeking freedom" , which was highlighted for review by Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I think I understand what you are saying here. We must slow down and not worry about material things and technology. We need to go back to our roots and a simpler time when we cared more about people than things.
IMAGERY:
Not a whole lot of imagery. Your descriptions are vague and the emotion are erratic.
TECHNICALITIES:
There seems to be a lot of technical issues here. Without listing them line by line, the biggest thing is the punctuation and the grammar. It is very difficult to read as it is.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
While your message is clear and can be an important one, the errors overshadow it. A good edit and more thought in the words would help this a great deal and make it have more of an impact.
Thank you for sharing your work and welcome to WDC!
This is review 2 of 2 from the Angel Package gifted to you for being a Simply Positive Star Reviewer!
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
A poem that I assume would be about nature turned out to be much, much more. I am a country girl and seeing all that concrete and steel of the city sends chills down my spine. How much was destroyed so that it could be built?
IMAGERY:
You did a wonderful job with the imagery! I loved each scene and you did a great with the description.
TECHNICALITIES:
I found no technical errors to note. The poem flowed well and had a great rhythm.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, I enjoyed this poem a lot, and even though it was a prompt, you did a great job of making it your own.
This is review 2 of 2 from the Angel Package gifted to you for being a Simply Positive Star Reviewer!
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
This poem speaks of a mother who only wants what is best for her child and that is for the child to find the light of God and not the darkness of being alone.
I really liked how you began the poem. It set a great tone for the rest of it.
IMAGERY:
I can easily see the desperation in your words, which gives all readers great imagery.
TECHNICALITIES:
I found no technical errors to note, however, I will say again that the formatting would look and read better if it was single spaced.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Overall, this is a good poem with a great message.
This is review 2 of 2 from the Angel Package gifted to you for being a Simply Positive Star Reviewer!
This package comes with the message: THANK YOU FOR SIMPLY POSITIVE REVIEWING w/e 3/4
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
This is an amazing poem. We sometimes forget that there are angel here on earth too. People who unselfishly help others with no regard to their own needs or safety. The world is a changed place and we need these people more now than ever before.
IMAGERY:
I enjoyed your imagery. It really hits home and gives a great visual for the reader.
TECHNICALITIES:
There were no technical errors to note. The poem had a great rhythm and flowed flawlessly from line to line.
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