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283 Public Reviews Given
283 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Captivating. A really good hook for a larger work. I really like your open word use to capture a reader's attention.
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Review of Sprocket  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Absolutely great. I love concise writing. Sprocket seems like an excellent character, and worth y of development. Steampunk needs more writers! i'm glad to see you here and hope to see you in the boilerroom as it gets revived!
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Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
well written...a bit dark, but still it gives food for thought, doesn't it? It reminded me of an old single panel cartoon from a men's magazine back in the 70s of a man reading a a Christmas story to a child. No words, but a captioned image in the balloon of Santa using a whip and sailing through the sky...I had to look at it a few times to catch the grim humor of it. All in all, I must admit I like this piece.


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Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Oh, I like this...I can see your native language is not English, but you've done a very good job of delivering this story. I don't like to pick apart grammar items, so I won't. I will say that the theme is very intriguing, and I found myself imagining the encounter in my mind as I re-read the piece. I think you could easily expand on this theme and create a very acceptable and easy to follow narrative in this imaginary place. It makes me want to go sneak into other people's living rooms and dive into their couches as well...lol.


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5
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
A powerful thought given voice. I admire your straightforward stance on the subject. I found this item very thought provoking, and will be looking for other works of yours because of the simple and bold style you seem to have.
Do not let your voice be silenced.


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Review of Quantum Memories  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I will admit that the first couple of paragraphs were hard for me to get through, since my understanding of the mathematical approach to quantum physics is rudimentary at best. But after getting past that part, I was intrigued by the tale and Dr. Horne. His blinking out of existence, along with all trace of his deeds was reflected well in Andy's response to the occurrence.
All in all, I think this story is excellent, and could be the basis for a broader work.


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Review of Percy's Night Out  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Great piece. Very descriptive, and quite enjoyable. The very last line seemed off to me for some reason, but I can't really decide how I would change it. I believe the formality with which they are conversing didn't lend itself to the last line of dialogue for some reason. Perhaps something along the line of "we must present our tails to one another first." or something like that. That would get the message across and still fit in with the formality of their exchange. Or perhaps there wouldn't need to be dialogue at all after: "Well, of course," but instead a description of her approaching him nose to tail and lifting her tail as well.

I really liked the piece in general, however, and see where it could be developed into a much larger story without much trouble at all. Good job!


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Review of Bunny Weather  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Just...wow. So very well written, and so very intense. The only word I can think of to define my reaction is discomfiting. The title, "Bunny Weather" put an expectation of a very different tale as I began to read. It is a very stark look at the harsh realities that we so often overlook in our lives.

I appreciate the darkness of life, and have rarely seen such an excellent example of a story that relates it so uncompromisingly. Well done.


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Review of The Shroud  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really like this piece. The theme is great, and most of your descriptives are very good. I think the only improvements I could suggest would be to change some of the repetitive adjectives. I used to have a very hard time with that myself, so I started keeping a copy of Roget's Thesaurus right next to my writing space. It has made all the difference. One other thing...you used the word "atop" a couple of times in a manner that is not quite right. Most people think of "atop" as signifying a static item perched on top of another, not a dynamic item (like a foot, in motion), if that makes sense. As writers, we often want to use our vocabulary in ways that aren't familiar to most readers.

We sometimes trap ourselves with words that way. I can say "the floor creaked as I set my foot atop it," or I can say "as I stepped forward, the floor creaked under my weight." Or perhaps the floor creaked loudly as I tried to softly walked towards the door...the point is the creaking floor. If I use a word most people rarely use, it puts the emphasis on the floor, and not the creak. Does that make sense? LOL...

All in all though, I really like this piece. The facelessness of the horror outside is a prime example of a primal fear. I look forward to reading it again.


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Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I will make a statement for anyone reading...
Steampunk Lives
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Review of Book Burning  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very good...I think Mr. Bradbury would have liked this precursor to his own tale very much. You related the tension well, and I really enjoyed the gradual ramp up as you approached the end. I really, really liked this piece. Hope you have more, because I'm going to look.
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Review of Nothern Forest  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
What a riot! I thought for a moment that the story was drifting off from its arc, but as it came back around, I was captured by the description of the encounter. I especially liked the fact that Smithers had his cup of tea in the end. I'll check your portfolio for other works.


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Review of Crashed Witches  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well written, and entertaining. It is a light-hearted piece in general, but I wish there had been a bit more humor placed in the telling. The split skull is one image, but I might have expanded a bit by describing how I had stumbled across her broom on the ground and in looking up, saw some portion of her (legs, skirts, stockings and boots, etc.) up in the tree. That would have tied into the decorations that persist to this day. But, in the end, poor Eliza indeed.


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Review of Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I can appreciate the bitter edge of this piece. We often find reality in what we express in the written word, and it brings us peace to share. I would make one technical change...in the last line, if you switch the phrases, the rhyme pattern will be more polished, and it will give a better emphasis on how you are moving forward. Sometimes making it rhyme better makes us feel better. *BigSmile*


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Review of Best Friend  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I appreciate the simple verse and the way you tried to give some breadth to the emotion of losing a lifelong friend. Giving voice to emotions is often difficult, and suggesting any change to this concise poetic piece may not even be welcome. But, having known this loss myself (many times over), I want to encourage you to come back to this item and expand on it. Doing that will not only improve your skills as a writer, it will help you express more fully the appreciation of the friend you lost. Believe me, it will be worth the effort.


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Review of Perfection  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh, I like this...the subject matter of the art isn't necessary. It's the process described to a "T". As an occasional artist, I immediately recognized the thought process and the emotion we all bring to what we do: "Is it good enough?" I found this very thought provoking. Thank you for describing an process and an emotion so simply and effectively.


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Review of In my dream...  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
This is why I like random reviewing...I get the opportunity to find small tidbits like this that show the ways in which each individual author ties images together to form a whole. I see the framework for a more detailed poem or short vignette here. It makes me want to look at your portfolio to see what other gems I might find there. The "spider sized drops" threw me a bit, but where I live, we have so many varying sizes of spiders, I think I had a moment of disarmed bafflement trying to pick a size that wasn't threatening to me...lol. I intend to take a look at any other pieces you have written.


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Review of Love's Legacy  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It's great to read a piece that bridges the generation gap so well. It's too easy to forget that people have lived lives we had no idea about. Well written, and easy to follow, I like the premise very much. It also leaves open a space for more exploration of the subject matter, or stands alone.


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Review of the sea of dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
What an excellent image this builds. Tantalizing and thought provoking, it shows the mind's ability to connect with both the dreaming and waking worlds. Very impressive.


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Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
How very unique. I can see no fault in the viewpoint, almost as if the floor is possessed by some spirit lost in the mansion and relegated to haunt its own specific feature. I made note of this idea to assist me with becoming more descriptive in my own writing. Thank you for sharing this with us all.


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Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Reread it twice, to be sure. I love the theme, and not sure how I would suggest any change. The meter is a bit stilted, but it works well with the overall dynamic of the message and the emotion it conveys. In looking at it again (the third time), I enjoyed it even more. Not sure about the digging into the road line...I suppose that's the only line that put me out of synch, but all in all, very nice.


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Review of That Night  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
A great short read, with something that I can relate to...dark humor in the face of danger. This piece is delightful, and I really appreciate the brevity with which it is presented. Descriptions are clear without getting in the way of the feeling of the story, or of Al and Frank's personalities. I like it!


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Review of The Shell  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh, how tricky...I love the fact that you never mention the actual nature of the spell she cast, and let the story reveal its secret through the reading. A piece like this easily calls for a re-read, for the reader to be absolutely clear on Mary and her miraculous actions. Wonderful!


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Review of Longing For You  Open in new Window.
Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The sentiment is sound, and well thought out. The mechanics might need a bit of work to make the flow better. Whenever I write poetry, I set it aside for two hours after each edit, and then look at it again. I have a friend who actually reads hers to a metronome, but that might be a little extreme. But the pattern of the ideas and the progression work quite well.


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Review by Vincent Coffin Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Fantastic! I love the casual manner of Anastasia's story, and her obvious teenage matter-of-fact feelings about it all. Very nice. Hope to see the next layer of this story soon.


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