All I have to say is WOW. I do not even think I could write poetry half that good. You showed great patriotism with that and I believe you should post in a magaziene or something of that nature because now we really need to remember our troops because they are fighting a seemingly never ending war over in Iraq. Only one other thing, do you or did you know someone who faught in a war?
I would give you a five for this but you left out the ending. I know the way you wrote this does not allow you to write an ending but you could have written it differently or added something like an afterthought. Also you spelled quite a few things wrong, witch I would suggest you use spellcheck for, and you did not indent which sort of threw me off a bit. Oh, and one last thing, you sort of got off track a bit which kind of confused me.
Geez this is REALLY good , I was just drawn in by the sincerity in it. It seems really deep but then again that may just be you I really do not know. Although I will say this it is far better than anything I have ever done thus far.Its really good and I think that you should keep writing things like this.
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