Written well for the most part!!!!! It made me think where my life is headed and what will my death bed be like. I like how the characters were portrayed. AT the first part of this story I got lost because the way the author handle the flashback.
What a wonderful story! The author has a great way with words and put them together in such a way as to convey the emotional feeling expressed in the story. I can relate to this piece. I have cerebral palsy and have struggled throughout my life,
I believe this piece shows the true meaning of Christmas. If we as a people could live with the spirit of Christmas at all times, we would have no hate or evil in the world. i wish I could see the sparkle in my siblings eyes everyday. You know the one they get when unwrapping gifts.
Great story. I was laughing and saying to myself "I know the feeling about the door." I really like the ending about Chase and him walking away when the knock came again. I liked this point of view and think you have a knack for inserting humor in your work.
This is so true! Alot of slaves feel the need to feel, to belong, and to be wanted by a Master who is able to release thier pent up emotions.
The stanza:
"Can you see me spanking away your bad mood?
And imagine you over my knee when you have an attitude
Or take for instance you don’t do your chores
I’ll whip you so good your heart beat will soar"
make me feel like I belong in this work. My Master makes my heart soar whenever I have done wrong and then am forgiven.
THE THINGS YOU SAY ARE SO WRONG!!! MORMON'S ARE NOT OF A CULT! WE DO BELIEVE IN GOD AND JESUS AND THE HOLY GHOST! WE DO NOT BELIEVE THAT BLACKS ARE FROM THE DEVIL. IN FACT MANY BELONG TO OUR CHURCH AND ARE EQUAL TO WHITES! PEOPLE I AM PROUD TO BE LDS (MORMON) AND KNOW THE CHURCH IS TRUE!
"A euphoria of pleasure danced with my soul," what an awesome line and one that evokes such a variety of emotions. You have captured many feelings that have remained unspoken for me for countless of years. This piece is well writen and deep. I look forward to reading more. Keep writing!!!
Well done!! This piece is a fun, but sad read. I really enloyed the images you portray here. Life in the Serengeti is tough and the fate of loins and their pride must be brutal at times. I found that your desriptive words you used to tell about the roar werw amazing.
I am utterly speechless with pride reading this work. I am a submissive and I can tell that my Dom/Master has these feelings. The follow is my favorite part:
"You will give me complete and unshakable assurance of
your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift to me and a
sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I
understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body
and soul, your heart and mind."
This tells it all.
This work conveys feelings I, myself, have. Submission is freedom and to be subject to a man is bliss! I found a mistake in this work. The word tire should be tired. The formatting should be changed, it seems spaced out too far. You have a way with words, but I think you may want to revise this and adlib so feelings you may have felt. Well done! I will my checking your profile for more of your work.
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