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Review by Unknown Dude Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
This has got to be the most hilariously bad interactive I have ever seen on this site. Seriously, I laughed even more than when I read the famous "THEN WHO WAS PHONE?" creepypasta.

Here is a list of everything you did bad:

1. Your sentences are poorly constructed and have no punctuation whatsoever. I am going to correct them right here:
Chapter 1 : Okay, the two of them are on their first date. It's been a strange night, but the two of them had a great time. Then, something strange happens, causing :
Chapter 2 : A handsome man named James appears. He is 6'3'', has lots of muscles, and a buzz cut. What does he do? (This is unrelated, but a buzz cut is certainly not handsome)
Chapter 3 : James uses all his muscles and beats the s*** out of Devin, making him cry and beating him down until he's dead. Then, he asks Katherine if she would like to have sex.

2. Also, chapters made of one or two sentences should not be allowed on this site. A reasonable chapter should at least be a paragraph long. Personally, I believe that there should be a 500 words minimum, yet your chapters are incredibly short. Just to make sure you understand : a chapter I write is usually 2500 words long. This review is 1567 words long. Your story is shorter than this review.

3. The story is pathetic and makes no sense at all. Here's a summary : a couple is on a date, when a random guy appears and kills the other guy, then he asks the girl if she wants to have sex. Do you honestly think that this is good? Nevermind the fact that your story is barely longer than my summary.
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