There is a good plot and setting, The characters are believable and realistic. The studer aids in making Andy's dialog authentic. The grammar could use a little work, but nothing major. Overall an excellent short story at such an age.
Good story. I do have one criticism, there is no climax. The story of whiskers life is indeed a fine tale, but nothing of incident (good, bad, or otherwise) happens when he finally gets what he's been yearning for (to go out alone). His parents felt he was ready, but was he? Was he scared, if so why? Was he disappointed be the lackluster of the experience, if so why, how? What did he do finally getting to be outside on his own that he couldn't, or wouldn't have done with parental supervision?
Very poetic, and an excellent use of symbolism. The story has a dark depression, yet still manages to by funny in some parts, “I want to see that Generic Chick Flick movie with Madame Beautiful, Dr. Chiseled and Mr. Handsome in it!”. Very intriguing, I really enjoyed the read.
I have only one criticism, the dialogue seems a little unnatural. Not what is said but how it is said. I have some difficulty believing the characters speaking this way and, using these phrases.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ulrichbarbaros
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 10:13pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
