That was deep. I think rather than a poem, this could be a few verses in a song. I caught 1 grammar mistake; in the 3rd line of the 1st stanza, you forgot to capitalize the I, same thing on the 4th stanza, 2nd line. Also, I think the title wasn't very fitting. It could have been "Broken Forever", or maybe a shorter, deeper title: "Betrayal." Y'know, something that will capture the readers attention.
Also, a few verses didn't make sense. "Let's leave no words unspoken," and "and let regrets fill everything" didn't make sense in the stanzas in which you put them. but like I said, it would go great in a song. Overall, this is a gr8 poem. I'm curious though, it this your 1st poem? If it is, it deserves higher than the 4 stars I'm giving. :D
Cheers-
Little_Lambie, the reviewer.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 6:42am on Dec 23, 2024 via server WEBX2.