This is how you catch a reader's attention. You never gave the reader too much and you leave the reader hoping for more at the end. To build onto this,I would describe Ellie with another character. If you use the brother, give the reader a surprising personality to read about. I can't give it five stars because I'm worried you'll think you don't need to change it. The writer always has the ability to make his or her work better. And nothing a reviewer can say will make you truely hate somthing you created. Good work and good luck!
This is good. It's what a lot of people our age go through, yet nobody will ever know exactly. Poetry is an expression of the poet, so I can't say it's incorrect, but I think it might appeal more to the reader if you add a little generalization. Or include the reader. You'll see what I mean. Write on.
I got alittle confused by the title. Maybe you should use the title in the poem. It got good toward the end. You should consider mentioning your girl's name more before the end to create a bigger shock. Good job. Keep it up!
This is a very enthusiastic story with energy. You should try to introduce the main charactor a little better. I like how it get me in volved quickly. Very nice story. If I had to name it I'd name it "DARK HOUSE" or somthing like that. Very good though gota go!
Ty.
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