Being fan myself I read your story with a great interest. I have seen Paul not so long ago, in 2003, and he still rocked. Funny, that the best memories I have, in one way or another, are connected with my gig-travellings. Especially, 15 Bowie gigs, 1 Paul concert, just recent Queen gig and around all of them there are lots of stories and memories, funny and sad.
Is it a student article or scientifical one?
I think, in this article you were able to find a good balance between real science and popular style. The medical therms are well used and explained.
I would not use in Conclusions "In sum.." Use something else, like "as the main conclusion..." or something like that.
Maybe it is also nice to add some chemical formulas to distract and impress readers.
It is also interesting to see that you are using "I" most of the time. I was surprised by that.
If you need any suggestions, feel free to contact me - I am a scientist, actually :)
Well done though.
Regards.
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