This is a cute little fanfic. It's all right, but it seems a bit too upbeat to be good on its own. This leads me to believe that you've written others, with an actual storyline, though based on the amount of character background put in the story I have my doubts. You could easily use this as the opening scene to a classic Halloween story starring these two, and with a little more proofreading (manually going through and looking for errors, rather than letting the computer do it) this could become an excellent story.
While not the most poetically written poem, I still thought this was pretty good. You're using simple words, rhymes, and quad-stanzas to remind the reader of the beauty that exists in everyday life that we tend to overlook because they are, as you say, overabundant. It's the little things we take for granted, and the little things that are most easily lost. I never realized how much I loved the warmth and birdsong of summer until winter came and replaced it with grey skies and snow-muffled silence. As I said before, the poem wasn't very poetic, but the point of it was definitely proven well, which more than made up for that. Overall, not bad. Not bad at all.
This is the kind of story that makes me want to laugh, cry, and throw up at the same time. I think you did a great job on this, but I'm almost afraid to read anything longer than 55 characters! :P
Very creepy; I'm picturing a village ravaged by the plague (is that right?). When I saw the title and description I immediately thought of a different poem I considered writing (and am now reconsidering) about the different colors of silence and what they mean.
Epicness in a bottle. I love the way you feed the reader tiny bits of information at a time, so they never know what's going to happen to next, but always love it when they find out. I'm looking forward to reading chapter two!
You did a great job on this piece. It's disturbing and hypnotic, keeping the reader's eyes locked on the page all the way to the end. I like the way you release tiny bits of information at a time and give the reader a few moments to let them sink in and mix with the details before going on. From what I can tell, this is about a man who came home and caught his wife cheating, so he killed her. At first I thought she committed suicide, but the last few paragraphs convinced me otherwise. Over all, I love it, and highly recommend you not to change a word of it.
I like it so far. With a few grammatical check-ups and some furthering in regards to the different chapters, this could be a very fun and entertaining adventure story that I'd joy to read! I've never tried to make an interactive story before (although the appeals to me), so I can't really give you any more advice other than "Keep up the good work!"
I really enjoyed reading this story! You did a great job making everything seem believable by including scenes that weren't totally connected to "the sound", while at the same time avoiding plot gaps or giving too much unnecessary information. You stayed focused on the story, rather than going into depth on the characters background, which is very good. From what I read (everything), I can tell that this is about a man who recently graduated from college and has had some tough experiences, but is looking forward to a fresh start. I could go on for ages about all the little things I loved about this story, but what stood out to me the most were the small references to a past relationship that ended violently (the scar on his ear, another visit to the ER, etc). I liked this because it added to the character's personality, without distracting the reader. If I had to ask you to change anything, I'd just ask that you went through and double-checked grammar. Other than that, I love it!
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