Hi Laurean,
For starters, it looks like you have an amazing idea in your hands and I can't wait to read your book when it is released. The romance genre could certainly use a shove in the right direction and I think that's exactly what you're giving it with your book.
Overall, your blurb is fantastic, but since this may show up on the book cover, websites, and other public places, I'm being a bit harsher than I would normally be. Please understand that this is just constructive criticism that I think will help your blurb and attract more people. I have complete faith in your story and I just want to be sure your copy makes other people feel the same way.
For starters, I would mention Austin's name in the first paragraph so readers don't have to stop and think about who he is when they reach his name in the second paragraph. Where you first mention him in the second paragraph, be sure to change "Austin" to "Austin's."
In the third paragraph, I would get rid of the word "Yet" and maybe change it to "However." I have nothing against "yet," but you used that word just a few lines above. Since I think it fits better above than below, I would change the word in that spot and use a new one.
Finally, we get to the end of the blurb. From what I've experienced reading book covers and writing copy for them, you don't want to make your wording too sales pitchy. To avoid a sales pitch, I would add a couple more questions to the end of the third paragraph and then use a forth paragraph to tie everything together.
As a rough example, you might finish off the third paragraph by writing something like:
"Can Jenny relinquish her traumatic past to enjoy a future with Austin? Can Austin transform the heart of the woman who previously wanted to destroy him? Can everybody truly embark on a "Journey to Forgiveness?"
Find out when "Journey to Forgiveness" is released as an e-book on November 14, 2008 at www.thewildrosepress.com. When you order, simply click the "Coming Soon" button and then click the "Inspirational" button. Or, if you would prefer to preserve this humorous, romantic, and exciting 340 page book, just wait until May 15, 2009, at which point you can physically hold the answers to all the above questions and more!"
Of course, that's just a rough idea, but I think you get my point. To be on the safe side, I want to point out a few things I did there that could benefit your readership and potential sales.
First, I made sure to mention the name of your book in two separate spots. That will accomplish two things. One, it will make it easier for people to remember your title. Two, it will make it easier for search engines to pick up your title. As a general rule of thumb, be sure to mention your title as often as possible so it will get embedded in people's minds.
Another thing I did was take away some of the sales pitch. I'm still giving the same information and most of the same words; it's just organized differently. You might think I'm off my rocker because I suggested that you take away the sales pitch and then I boldly stated, "When you read this book ..." However, that phrase is there for a reason. This is a bit of a subliminal advertising trick that gets into people's heads. You're not asking people to pay money to buy your book. Instead, you're telling them that they will read it. That little phrase will get stuck in people's minds and often convince them that they will read the book, which ultimately means they will buy the book.
I apologize for my lengthy feedback and cannot emphasize enough that your blurb is great. I'm just throwing out some sales tips that will help you when selling time comes about because I really think you will sell this book. And no, that's not subliminal messaging. You WILL sell the book and that's a fact! :)
Best of luck and keep on writing!
Trish :) |
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