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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/trekjunky
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29 Public Reviews Given
29 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Limit  Open in new Window.
Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello my name is Trekjunky! I myself like you am a writer too! I have read your work and would like to give you this review. Please remember that this is my opinion. I only intend to help you and I grow to become better writers and readers! In fact if in my review I am saying something incorrect or insane that you know for fact to be correct please correct me and show me how I am wrong!

Thomas you are on the right path to a great novel! Your prologue has the elements it should to hook the reader into wanting to read your novel. It isn’t boring, it is a scene that is written very well, and it gives the reader a mystery that the reader will want to find the answers to. Who is the main character? Why is he in the road? What happened to him? These are the questions that your prologue makes the reader think of and want to be answered. However, I do have some ideas that can better enhance your work.

Instead of “The clouds that had appeared from, it seemed to be only my imagination, started to shed their tears, rain was pouring down upon me like I had never felt before.” Try this sentence, “The clouds that appeared seemed to be from my imagination, and as that thought crossed my mind they started to shed their tears pouring down upon me like I’ve never felt before.”

Instead of “The cold, chilling water began…” Try this instead, “The cold and chilling water began…”

Instead of “An emotion that hadn't occurred to me in my short lifetime came to me.” Try this instead, “An emotion that I had not felt in my short lifetime came to me.”

Instead of “This wasn't like me at all , quiet, doormat me.” Try this instead, “This wasn’t like the quiet and dormant me at all.”

Instead of “Even if death it turned out was the only option.” Try this instead, “Even if it turned out my death was the only option.”

Again these are only my ideas that could enhance your prologue and make it flow better and easier to read! Keep writing!

Happy writing,

Trek
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Review of La' Guillotine  Open in new Window.
Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
         Hello my name is Trekjunky! I myself like you am a writer too! I have read your work and would like to give you this review. Please remember that this is my opinion. I only intend to help you and I grow to become better writers and readers! In fact if in my review I am saying something incorrect or insane that you know for fact to be correct please correct me and show me how I am wrong!           
Below are several categories and items I look in for a poem to have. Remember these are only my opinions to help you if it is possible.
 
Title: Does the title accurately reflect the subject of the poem?
 
No, I believe a better title could have been used.
 
Rhyme: Does the rhyme of the poem inhibit the poem or make it hard to read?
 
Yes, your poem has great rhyme and it helps the flow of the poem.
 
Rhythm: Does the rhythm of the poem go smoothly so the poem is easy to read and follow?
 
Yes, the rhythm is smooth because of great rhyme, sentence structure, and correct punctuation.
 
Imagery: Does the poem paint a picture in the reader’s mind to understand the poem?
 
Yes, the poem takes the reader on a journey from beginning to end while giving great detail to paint a picture of the journey.
 
Emotional: Does the poem convey any emotion to the reader to help the reader relate to the poem?
 
Yes, sorrow and love. Your poem conveys them very well to where the reader might relate to them. Everyone has lost a loved one and maybe a reader who has lost a loved one to an execution too might relate even better to this poem.
 
Word Choice: Does the word choice make the poem hard to understand or inhibit the reader from understanding the poem?
 
No, the word choice is fine. However, there several words that a reader might not know, this is ok because a reader can learn what they are from other text later in the poem or research.
 
Relation: Does the poem give anything a reader can relate to?
 
Yes, death of a loved one is never easy and even possibly some one who has lost a loved one from capital punishment might even read and relate even more.
 
Subject: Does the poem keep on subject or does the poem go off?
 
Yes, the poem keeps on the same subject, but the title and description are somewhat confusing.
 
Punctuation: Does the poem have any punctuation or punctuation errors that may inhibit the reader or flow of the poem?
 
No, the poem has excellent punctuation!
 
Spelling: Does the poem have any spelling errors that may inhibit the reader understanding the poem or make the writer look silly?
 
No, your poem doesn’t have any major spelling errors.
 
My overall impression:
 
This was a great poem to read. It was very well written and thought out. It gave me a journey from beginning to end about a love story that ended in tragedy. I’m giving it four and a half stars, because I liked it a lot but I think the title and description are confusing. If you have any comments or questions please feel free to e-mail me. Keep writing! You did a good job on this one!
 
Happy writing,
 
Trek
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3
Review of Why I Write  Open in new Window.
Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello my name is Trekjunky! I myself like you am a writer too! I have read your work and would like to give you this review. Please remember that this is my opinion. I only intend to help you and I grow to become better writers and readers! In fact if in my review I am saying something incorrect or insane that you know for fact to be correct please correct me and show me how I am wrong!

Below are several categories and items I look in for a poem to have. Remember these are only my opinions to help you if it is possible.

Title: Does the title accurately reflect the subject of the poem?

Yes, your title does reflect the subject of your poem most efficiently to inform to reader.

Rhyme: Does the rhyme of the poem inhibit the poem or make it hard to read?

No, your poem has a rhyme of ABCB with the second and forth lines rhyming of each stanza allowing the poem to have a rhythm and allowing the reader to read easily.

Rhythm: Does the rhythm of the poem go smoothly so the poem is easy to read and follow?

Yes, your poem has rhythm thanks to a rhyme of ABCB which makes reading easy and enjoyable.

Imagery: Does the poem paint a picture in the reader’s mind to understand the poem?

Yes, your poem paints images in the reader’s head to help them understand and relate to the poem. For me the poem painted to me an image of a wise writer whose work lives on through the ages.

Emotional: Does the poem convey any emotion to the reader to help the reader relate to the poem?

Yes, your poem shouts to the reader you’re proud to be a writer and that writing is an enjoyable experience, which is something that other writers can connect to.

Word Choice: Does the word choice make the poem hard to understand or inhibit the reader from understanding the poem?

No, your poem has great word choice that many readers will be able to understand.

Relation: Does the poem give anything a reader can relate to?

Yes, your poem talks about the imagination of Shakespeare and Sophocles still in a reader’s mind. Something any reader and writer have hopefully.

Subject: Does the poem keep on subject or does the poem go off?

Yes, your poem stays on subject the whole time and you identify why you write.

Punctuation: Does the poem have any punctuation or punctuation errors that may inhibit the reader or flow of the poem?

No, your poem’s punctuation does not inhibit the flow of the poem. However there is one tiny mistake on the third stanza second line. Instead of using a coma after dead, use both a semicolon and lowercase still or use a period. Lines one and two are a complete sentence. Lines three and four are also complete sentences.

Spelling: Does the poem have any spelling errors that may inhibit the reader understanding the poem or make the writer look silly?

No, your poem has no spelling errors I could find.

My overall impression:

My overall impressions of your poem say to me that you enjoy writing and that writers like Shakespeare inspire you and motivate you to write. I rather enjoyed this poem. Also you poem does speak many truths, especially in the first stanza. Please keep writing poetry even though you don’t focus on this genre much.

Happy writing,
Trek

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Review of Cold  Open in new Window.
Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem has very strong emotion. The character here is clearly heart broken and devastated by whoever broke thier heart. Keep writing!


Happy writing,
Trekjunky
5
5
Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This I believe is a letter to ones' self at age nineteen? Following these parameters I find alot of understanding from your work here, mostly because like they youth being talked to in here, I myself am nineteen too. It is hard growing up, somewhat harder than what it was years ago because we have media everywhere. "try this"or "everyone is doing it" preasures the modern teenager today. Teachers all around our country also are not taking thier responisbility to shape us, to shape our future which is thier future also. So basically I get from this is this, don't wory about the small things and achieve your goals, achieve your dreams, and live life! Nice concept so keep writing!

Happy writing,
Trekjunky
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6
Review of The Trap  Open in new Window.
Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Ha Ha! Nice! I knew when I read the title this one would be funny. Good job and keep on writing!

Happy writing,
Trekjunky
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Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This poem is so true and sounds almost exactly like my plan if they do really attack. :) Good job and keep writing and maybe write one describing how to kill them exactly.

Happy zombie free writing,
Trekjunky
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Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Another good poem Angel. Another good story inside the poem that was told well to where I could relate very much to it, of course change all the hers to hims since I am a guy. :) The flow of it is good and rhyme sceme isn't as important in this one because its a mix between free verse with a rhyme here and there and it works very well like this because the focus is making the story and the emotion of the main character felt by the reader. Good job keep writing more and posting them on WDC. I want to read more!

Happy writing,
Trekjunky
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Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! This story is really sad. I think remember reading you said this is based on your real life? I do hope you are doing ok nowadays from all this alone! Also I want to know more, because of the last line. What else happened? Keep writing its a story told very well.

Good job,
Trekjunky

10
10
Review by Trekjunky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very nice protrayal of an image of someone who has been suffering for a very long time and struggling with themselves about what choices they have. Do they keep fighting the pain and hope for the best, or do they end it all right now? This poem is just paints a great picture of that struggle and I comend you for it! Keep writing and remember the only people who can defeat us is ourselves.

Happy writing,
Trekjunky
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