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29 Public Reviews Given
29 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Phases of Man  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
"The Phases of Man" is a beautifully crafted poem that explores the various stages of life through powerful imagery and a poignant narrative. The consistent rhyme scheme and rhythmic flow contribute to its overall impact and engagement.
Each stanza delicately portrays the essence of a different life phase, capturing both the struggles and the joys experienced along the way. The imagery of the sky and grains of sand as metaphors for the passage of time and the generational legacy is particularly striking.
While the poem effectively covers various life stages, it could benefit from more inclusivity in terms of gender or diverse family structures. However, as a piece that captures the human experience and the cycle of life, "The Phases of Man" is a thought-provoking and engaging work with a powerful message.


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2
2
Review of Tomorrow  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (3.5)
"Tomorrow is so far away" is a contemplative poem that explores the fleeting nature of time and the desire to seize control of one's future. The imagery of reaching for stars and taking the reins is powerful and thought-provoking.
However, the poem could benefit from more consistent rhyme scheme or meter to enhance its flow and musicality. Additionally, while the message of taking initiative and shaping one's future is inspiring, it could be further developed and explored to create a more memorable impact on the reader.
Overall, this poem is a good start that touches upon universal themes, but with further refinement of structure and development of ideas, it has the potential to become an even stronger and more engaging piece.


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3
3
Review of What Am I?  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
"What Am I" is a beautifully crafted and contemplative poem that explores the theme of humility in the face of a divine presence. The poet employs rich and vivid imagery, comparing themselves to elements in nature, which effectively conveys their sense of awe and gratitude. The use of rhetorical questions and repetition creates a sense of introspection that invites readers to reflect on their place in the world.
The poem's structure and flow are well-crafted, with a consistent rhyme scheme that contributes to its overall impact. The spiritual themes, focusing on the transformative power of divine love and guidance, resonate strongly with readers who appreciate religious and inspirational works.
One area for potential improvement could be exploring more diverse metaphors to represent the individual's connection with the divine. However, overall, "What Am I" is an eloquent and thought-provoking piece that captivates readers through its introspection, humility, and appreciation for divine grace.


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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Judge Me Not/Judge Me" is a powerful and thought-provoking poem that challenges societal expectations and encourages readers to embrace their true selves. The poet employs strong imagery and contrasts to convey their message effectively. The use of repetition in "Judge me not" and "Judge me" creates a rhythmic structure that emphasizes the poem's central theme.
The poem's exploration of personal choices, faith, and the desire for genuine understanding resonates strongly with the reader. The imagery is vivid and engaging, effectively driving home the poet's message. The only potential area for improvement could be in exploring more diverse rhyme patterns or poetic structures.
Overall, "Judge Me Not/Judge Me" is a captivating and insightful piece that prompts readers to question societal norms and embrace their authentic selves. The poem's powerful message and strong imagery make it a memorable and impactful work.


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5
5
Review of Guiding Light  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
"Guiding Light" is a heartfelt and devotional poem that conveys the speaker's deep gratitude for their spiritual salvation. The use of religious imagery and symbolism effectively communicates the speaker's profound connection with their faith. The recurring refrain "Thou are my guiding light" strengthens the theme of divine guidance and protection throughout the poem.
Some readers might find the language slightly archaic or formal, but it aligns with the devotional tone and subject matter. The rhyme scheme is consistent, and the structure contributes to the overall flow and cohesiveness of the piece. This poem is an evocative expression of gratitude and devotion that will resonate with readers who appreciate religious themes and language.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Rating: 4/5
This piece is an uplifting and encouraging poem, with a strong message about resilience, self-belief, and perseverance. The use of metaphors and allusions to various roles (ballerina, lion, etc.) adds depth and interest to the poem. The overall structure and flow work well, with a consistent rhyme scheme that effectively emphasizes the central theme.
One area for improvement could be to vary the length of the stanzas or lines within the poem, as it follows a fairly consistent pattern throughout. This could add some more dimension and variety to the piece. Additionally, some of the vocabulary could be elevated or varied to enhance the language and imagery further.
Overall, this is an enjoyable and empowering poem that delivers an important message in a creative and engaging way.
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Review of Zealous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Rating: 3/5
The piece shows some potential with an interesting setting and a conflict between the two siblings. However, it could benefit from improvements in structure and clarity.
Here are some areas for improvement:
Paragraph organization: It's difficult to distinguish between the character's thoughts, narration, and dialogue. Consider separating these elements into different paragraphs to improve readability.
Character development: While we get some insight into the conflict between Jezeel and her brother Fester, their characters feel underdeveloped. Provide more context on their motivations, feelings, and background to create a stronger emotional connection with the reader.
Tense consistency: The piece switches between past and present tense, making the narrative feel disjointed. Consider maintaining a consistent tense throughout.
Pacing: The story could benefit from more gradual pacing, building up to the conflict and its aftermath. Expand on the events leading up to the storm and the brother's departure to heighten the tension.
Overall, the story has an intriguing premise and a compelling conflict. With a focus on refining the structure, character development, and pacing, it has the potential to be even more engaging and impactful.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you 😊
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)

I would rate this poem a 3 out of 5 stars. Here's why:

Positives:

Strong imagery: The poem uses vivid imagery to create a sense of atmosphere, particularly the first two lines with the "shadows dancing below the broken streetlights" and the "storm-tossed hotel."
Conciseness: The poem is short and to the point, effectively conveying a sense of loneliness and isolation.
Evocative title: The title "Shadows in the night" is fitting and adds to the mysterious mood of the poem.
Negatives:

Lack of development: The poem seems incomplete and could benefit from further development. We don't learn anything about the man and woman, their relationship, or why they are at the hotel. The single line "Just another night sleepless in Seattle" feels like a missed opportunity to explore their emotions and motivations.
Repetitive phrase: The repetition of "night" four times within the short poem feels excessive and could be replaced with synonyms or varied description.
Unclear central theme: While the poem evokes a sense of melancholy, it doesn't offer a clear central theme or deeper meaning.
Overall, the poem has potential but would benefit from further development and exploration of its themes and characters. By providing more details and delving deeper into the emotions, the poem could become a more impactful and memorable piece.

I hope this feedback is helpful!


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10
10
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)

I would rate this piece a 3 out of 5 stars. Here's why:

Positives:

Nostalgic tone: The poem evokes a sense of wistful nostalgia for past July 4th celebrations. The repetitive lines and simple language contribute to this feeling.
Vivid imagery: The poem uses concrete details, such as "homemade apple pie with ice cream," "grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and corn," and "runaway frisbee," to create a clear picture of the memories.
Honesty and simplicity: The poem's straightforward and unpretentious style feels genuine and relatable.
Negatives:

Lack of structure: The poem lacks a clear narrative structure or progression. It reads more like a list of memories than a cohesive piece.
Limited emotional depth: While the piece evokes nostalgia, it doesn't delve deeper into the emotions associated with the memories. It leaves the reader wanting more reflection and introspection.
Repetitive phrasing: The poem relies heavily on repetition, which can become monotonous after a while. Varying the sentence structure and word choice could enhance the rhythm and flow.
Unclear theme: The poem's overall message or theme is not entirely clear. While there's a sense of longing for the past, there's no deeper exploration of this feeling or its implications.
Overall, the poem has some charming elements and successfully evokes a feeling of nostalgia. However, it would benefit from a more defined structure, deeper emotional exploration, and a clearer thematic focus to reach its full potential.

I hope this feedback is helpful!


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11
11
Review of Flight 363  Open in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | (3.0)

I would rate the story a 3 out of 5 stars. Here's my breakdown:

Positives:

Interesting premise: The story starts with a unique setup, where the main character is on the moon as part of a research mission. The contrast between the lunar setting and the characters' personal lives adds intrigue.
Emotional depth: The story delves into the emotional struggles of the characters, particularly Artemis's grief over his mother and his complicated relationship with his brother.
Fast pace and cliffhanger ending: The story keeps the reader engaged with its rapid plot development and unexpected turns. The cliffhanger ending leaves a lasting impression and invites speculation.
Negatives:

Characters could be more developed: While the story touches on the characters' emotions, they could be fleshed out further. Their motivations and personalities could be explored in more depth to make them more relatable and engaging.
Dialogue can be clunky: Some of the dialogue feels forced and unnatural, particularly the banter between Artemis and Carmen.
Plot inconsistencies: Certain aspects of the plot, such as how Liam ended up on Earth while Artemis was on the moon, could be explained more clearly to avoid confusion.
Unrealistic ending: The self-destructing spaceship scenario feels convenient and somewhat rushed. A more nuanced and believable resolution could have been explored.
Overall, the story has potential but could benefit from further development in terms of character depth, dialogue refinement, and plot consistency. The interesting premise and emotional themes are promising, but the execution needs some polishing to truly captivate the reader.

I hope this feedback is helpful!


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Review of Open Letter  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I'd rate this poem 4/5 for the following reasons:

Strengths:

Raw and honest emotions: The poem captures the confusion and vulnerability of navigating strong feelings without a clear label. The lines "I didn't know what I was feeling" and "There wasn't any label" effectively convey the uncertainty and yearning inherent in this situation.
Simple but evocative language: The poem uses everyday language effectively to express complicated emotions. Lines like "Quite a spark," "Pour it, it would be fire," and "I am quite longing" are powerful in their simplicity.
Playful exploration of possibilities: The contrasting possibilities of "lust" and "love" add depth and complexity to the speaker's emotions. This invites the reader to contemplate the nature of their own feelings and how they manifest.
Areas for improvement:

Potential for ambiguity: While the ambiguity can be a strength, it could also leave the reader wanting more. Providing a few more details about the relationship or the specific actions that evoke these feelings could add emotional weight and concreteness.
Structure and rhythm: The poem could benefit from more intentional use of structure and rhythm. While the present tense creates a sense of immediacy, exploring different line lengths or rhyme schemes could enhance the poem's overall impact.
Overall, this poem offers a fresh and relatable perspective on the early stages of love. With some additional development and refinement, it has the potential to be even more evocative and touching.

I hope this feedback is helpful!


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Review of What we want  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)

I'd rate this passage 4/5 for the following reasons:

Strengths:

Thought-provoking message: The passage challenges the assumption that our desires are simply materialistic or fleeting. It encourages introspection and reflection on the purpose behind our desires and how they relate to our life goals and journey.
Concise and clear: The message is expressed concisely and avoids unnecessary language. The use of simple but impactful metaphors, like "life's journey" and "craving on earthly luxurious stuffs," effectively conveys the intended meaning.
Focus on personal growth: The emphasis on understanding the why behind our desires and making peace with them adds a layer of personal development to the message.
Areas for improvement:

Clarity of "making peace": The statement "Make peace with all we wish for first to get what we truly need" could benefit from further elaboration. What does "making peace" entail? How does it lead to fulfilling our true needs? Providing some concrete steps or examples could enhance the message's effectiveness.
Potential misinterpretation: While the passage mainly focuses on introspection, the mention of "earthly luxurious stuffs" could be misinterpreted as a complete dismissal of materialistic desires. A clarification stating that some material desires can align with our life purpose, if pursued consciously, could add nuance.
Overall, the passage offers a valuable perspective on understanding our desires and their connection to our life journey. With some slight improvements in clarity and nuance, it has the potential to be even more impactful and insightful.


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14
14
Review of Will It Be  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (3.0)

I would rate this chapter 3 out of 5. It is well-written and has a lot of potential, but it could benefit from some more focus and development.

Strengths:

Emotional impact: The chapter is emotionally resonant and captures the speaker's feelings of love, longing, and uncertainty. The speaker's vulnerability and honesty are refreshing, and the reader is drawn into their emotional journey.

Imagery: The chapter uses vivid imagery to create a sense of atmosphere and emotion. The description of the field of green is particularly evocative, and the speaker's use of metaphors and similes is effective in conveying their feelings.

Dialogue: The dialogue between the characters is natural and believable, and it helps to develop the characters' personalities and relationships.

Weaknesses:

Focus: The chapter could benefit from some more focus. The speaker's thoughts and emotions jump around a bit, and it can be difficult for the reader to follow their train of thought.

Development: The chapter could also benefit from some more development. The characters and relationships are not fully fleshed out, and the plot is not fully resolved.

Overall, the chapter is a promising start to a story. It has a lot of potential, but it needs some more work in order to reach its full potential.

Feature Score
Emotional impact 4
Imagery 4
Dialogue 4
Focus 3
Development 3
Overall impression 3


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15
15
Review of Blue jay  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I would rate this poem 4 out of 5. It is a well-written and heartfelt piece that expresses the speaker's admiration for the blue jay and their longing for freedom. The poem is effective in using the blue jay as a symbol of freedom and the speaker's own desire to escape their problems.

**Strengths:**

* **Imagery:** The poem uses vivid imagery to create a sense of distance and longing. The phrase "so high and once was here to stay" is particularly evocative, as it suggests the blue jay's unattainable freedom.

* **Personification:** The poem personifies the blue jay, giving it a sense of personality and depth. The blue jay is seen as a wise and experienced teacher, and the speaker wishes to learn from its wisdom.

* **Emotional impact:** The poem is emotionally resonant, capturing the speaker's feelings of admiration, longing, and regret. The line "And from watching you, I've taught myself how to run from my own problems in strife" is particularly poignant, as it reveals the speaker's own struggles and desire for escape.

**Weaknesses:**

* **Structure:** The poem could benefit from a stronger structure. The stanzas are somewhat uneven, and the poem could use more repetition and rhyme to create a more cohesive sound.

* **Ending:** The ending of the poem is somewhat abrupt. The line "I want you to know...that I still think of you" is a nice sentiment, but it could be more powerful if the speaker expressed their feelings of loss and longing more explicitly.

**Overall, the poem is a moving and well-written tribute to a blue jay and the speaker's own desire for freedom. It is a poem that is sure to resonate with anyone who has ever felt a sense of longing or regret.**

| Feature | Score |
|---|---|
| Imagery | 4/5 |
| Figurative language | 4/5 |
| Emotional impact | 4/5 |
| Cohesiveness | 3/5 |
| Overall impression | 4/5 |


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16
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I would rate the poem 4 out of 5. It has a lot to offer in terms of imagery, rhythm, and emotional impact, but the ending could be more satisfying. Let's break down the strengths and weaknesses:

Strengths:

Imagery: The poem uses vivid imagery to convey the inner turmoil of the speaker. The phrase "endless battles of wars rage on for eons" is particularly evocative, as it suggests the relentlessness and intensity of the speaker's thoughts.

Rhythm: The poem has a strong rhythm that creates a sense of urgency and momentum. The repetition of the phrase "most times we do not have much to say out loud" emphasizes the speaker's introversion and the disconnect between their inner and outer worlds.

Emotional impact: The poem is emotionally resonant, capturing the frustration, despair, and hope that the speaker experiences. The line "And yet, that sanity comes from the uneasiness of the insanity that we almost forget which is the one that we should hold onto" is particularly poignant, as it highlights the paradoxical nature of mental health.

Weaknesses:

Ending: The ending of the poem is somewhat abrupt and could be more satisfying. The line "Until the floor breaks beneath us and then we find our true selves while we fall" is a powerful image, but it leaves the reader with a sense of uncertainty and unease.
Overall, the poem is a powerful and moving exploration of the inner turmoil of the speaker. It is well-written and thought-provoking, and it has a strong emotional impact. However, the ending could be more satisfying, and the poem could benefit from a more cohesive structure.

Feature Score
Imagery 4
Rhythm 4
Emotional impact 4
Cohesiveness 3
Overall impression 4


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17
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Review of The News Article  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

I would rate this story 4 out of 5. It's a well-written story with a suspenseful plot and interesting characters. However, the ending is a bit abrupt and could be improved by providing more closure.

Here is a more detailed breakdown of the story's strengths and weaknesses:

Strengths:

Suspenseful plot: The story has a suspenseful plot that keeps the reader guessing until the end. The twist ending is unexpected and shocking.
Interesting characters: The characters are interesting and well-developed. Anne is a relatable protagonist, and Ryan is a complex and intriguing antagonist.
Vivid setting: The setting of the story is vivid and well-described. The reader can easily imagine the school, the cafeteria, and the town where the story takes place.
Weaknesses:

Abrupt ending: The ending of the story is a bit abrupt. It would be better if the story provided more closure, such as revealing what happened to Ryan's body or how Anne deals with the knowledge that she has been seeing a ghost.
Unresolved relationship: The relationship between Anne and Ryan is unresolved. The story doesn't provide a clear explanation of why Ryan is haunting Anne or what he wants from her.
Overall, this is a well-written and suspenseful story. The ending is a bit abrupt, but it doesn't detract from the overall enjoyment of the story.

Feature Score
Plot 4/5
Characters 4/5
Setting 4/5
Style 4/5
Overall impression 4/5


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Review of Anxiety  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is a powerful and moving exploration of the experience of anxiety. The speaker uses vivid imagery and language to convey the physical and emotional symptoms of anxiety, such as the racing heart, sweating, and feeling of a hidden threat. The poem is also effective in capturing the isolation and despair that often accompany anxiety.

The poem's strengths include:

* **Vivid imagery:** The poem uses vivid imagery to bring the experience of anxiety to life. For example, the speaker describes their heart as "racing," their eyes as "darting," and their body as "sweating."
* **Honest and relatable:** The poem is honest and relatable in its portrayal of the experience of anxiety. The speaker's voice is raw and vulnerable, and the poem captures the fear, isolation, and despair that often accompany anxiety.
* **Effective use of language:** The poem uses language effectively to convey the speaker's emotions. The use of repetition, such as the phrase "Here we go again," is particularly effective in conveying the speaker's sense of being trapped in a cycle of anxiety.
* **Moving and insightful:** The poem is moving and insightful in its portrayal of the experience of anxiety. The speaker's voice is honest and relatable, and the poem captures the fear, isolation, and despair that often accompany anxiety.

I would give the poem a high rating for its emotional impact. The speaker's voice is raw and vulnerable, and the poem captures the fear, isolation, and despair that often accompany anxiety. The poem is also effective in raising awareness of anxiety and its impact on people's lives.

The poem's ending is particularly powerful. The speaker's signature, "A broken one," is a poignant reminder of the toll that anxiety can take on people's lives. The poem leaves the reader with a sense of the speaker's vulnerability and isolation, but also with a sense of hope that they will one day find relief from their anxiety.


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19
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Review of The Dream He Was  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)

I would rate this poem 2.6 out of 5.

The poem has some interesting imagery and a mysterious tone, but it is ultimately let down by its weak execution. The imagery is often clichéd and the poem's structure is disjointed. The ending is also abrupt and unsatisfying.

Here is a more detailed breakdown of the poem's strengths and weaknesses:

Strengths:

Interesting imagery: The poem uses some interesting imagery, such as the line "His cold, pale lips creeped out a smile."
Mysterious tone: The poem has a mysterious tone that is maintained throughout the first two stanzas.
Weaknesses:

Clichéd imagery: The poem's imagery is often clichéd, such as the use of the moon and the sea.
Disjointed structure: The poem's structure is disjointed, and the transitions between stanzas are often jarring.
Abrupt ending: The poem's ending is abrupt and unsatisfying. The speaker simply accepts that the man was never real, but there is no sense of resolution or closure.
Overall, the poem is a decent attempt at a dark and mysterious poem. However, the poem could be improved by developing its imagery further, tightening its structure, and providing a more satisfying ending.

Feature Score
Imagery 2/5
Figurative language 2/5
Emotional impact 2/5
Cohesiveness 2/5
Overall impression 2/5


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Review of Blood Of Trust  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

The poem is well-written and evocative, and it effectively conveys the speaker's remorse and desire for forgiveness. The use of vivid imagery and figurative language helps to create a strong emotional impact. However, the poem's ending is somewhat weak, and it could be improved by providing a more satisfying resolution.

Here is a more detailed breakdown of the poem's strengths and weaknesses:

Strengths:

Vivid imagery: The poem uses vivid imagery to create a strong emotional impact. For example, the speaker describes their hands as being "scarlet covered" and their heart as being "cut up."
Figurative language: The poem uses figurative language to create a sense of remorse and desperation. For example, the speaker says that they have "betrayed" their trust and that their hands will "forever carry the stain" of their crime.
Emotional impact: The poem evokes a strong sense of remorse and longing. The speaker's desire for forgiveness is palpable, and the reader is left feeling sympathy for their plight.
Weaknesses:

Weak ending: The poem's ending is somewhat weak. The speaker simply asks for forgiveness, but there is no resolution to their conflict. The poem could be improved by providing a more satisfying conclusion, such as the speaker being forgiven or finding a way to make amends for their crime.
Overall, I would rate this poem 4 out of 5. It is a well-written and evocative poem that effectively conveys the speaker's remorse and desire for forgiveness. However, the poem's ending is somewhat weak, and it could be improved by providing a more satisfying resolution.

Feature Score
Imagery 5/5
Figurative language 5/5
Emotional impact 4/5
Cohesiveness 4/5
Overall impression 4/5


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21
21
Review of What Easter Means  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (3.0)

The poem is a simple and straightforward celebration of Easter. It starts by mentioning the traditional symbols of the holiday, such as colored eggs, bunnies, and baskets of goodies. However, the poem quickly shifts to the religious significance of Easter, noting that it is a time to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

The poem's strengths include its clear and concise language, its cheerful tone, and its focus on the core message of Easter. However, the poem could be improved by developing its imagery and using more figurative language. Additionally, the poem's conclusion feels somewhat abrupt and could be more satisfying if it elaborated on the meaning of Jesus' resurrection.

Overall, the poem is a pleasant and enjoyable read, but it could be strengthened by a greater depth of exploration of its subject matter.


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22
22
Rated: E | (4.0)
Congratulations once again for winning the competition, I guess you were much better. I hope to see you participate in the December own. But don't expect to win next time.

Thank you
23
23
Rated: E | (4.5)

The poem is about a person who was manipulated by a friend. The poem's tone is dark and full of regret. The speaker is angry at their former friend and feels betrayed. The poem is well-written and the speaker's emotions are conveyed effectively.

The poem begins with the speaker describing a time when they were young and naive. They trusted their friend, who warned them about people who would betray them. The speaker's friend protected them from these people.

As the speaker grew up, their friend was still there for them. She was there when the speaker was lost and confused. She shared her feelings about people who were untrustworthy, and the speaker trusted her and followed her guidance.

The speaker started to hate the people that their friend hated. They started to blame the people that their friend blamed.

The speaker eventually realized that they were being manipulated. They were just a weapon for their friend's envy. Their friend was jealous of a friendship that the speaker had with other people, so she turned the speaker against them.

The speaker's friend ruined their friendships with her envy. When the speaker confronted her about this, she blamed the speaker for her mistakes. The speaker was hurt by her friend's false accusations.

The speaker learned to never fall for any story that their friend tells. They realized that their friend only cared about herself and her own selfish mission.

The speaker ends the poem by saying that they should have stayed away from their friend when they were warned. They actually cared to listen, but their friend did not.

The poem is a cautionary tale about the dangers of manipulation. It is important to be careful who you trust and to be aware of the motives of others.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
The story's premise of a person contemplating spending the rest of their life sitting in one spot is intriguing and raises questions about the nature of existence, spirituality, and the pursuit of enlightenment. The author's candid exploration of their thoughts and motivations adds depth and authenticity to the narrative.

The author's childhood fascination with the idea of sitting still suggests a deep-seated desire for introspection and transcendence. Their realization that physical needs like food and water are essential for survival demonstrates a practical understanding of human limitations.

Despite these limitations, the author's yearning for spiritual growth remains strong. The notion of dedicating 8-19 hours daily to meditation, even for weeks at a time, reflects a commitment to exploring the depths of consciousness. The author's willingness to restrict their physical activities and diet further highlights their dedication to this pursuit.

The author's acknowledgment of the allure of "negative" aspects of life, such as indulgences and distractions, adds a layer of complexity to their quest for enlightenment. The realization that even the thought of delaying these experiences hinders spiritual progress demonstrates self-awareness and a willingness to confront internal conflicts.

The author's acceptance that they may not necessarily achieve the ultimate goal of transforming into a higher being reflects humility and a realistic assessment of their path. However, the aspiration to become "something more" "brighter", "rarer" speaks to an unwavering belief in the potential for personal growth and transformation.

The story's conclusion leaves the reader pondering the author's ultimate decision and the potential outcomes of their spiritual journey. The narrative's exploration of profound existential questions and the author's genuine introspection make it a thought-provoking and memorable piece.
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Review of Sparkles  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think it is a very well-written story that captures the pain and sadness of a breakup in a very real and relatable way. I was particularly impressed with the way you used imagery to convey the emotions of the characters, such as the description of the rain mirroring the turmoil within Sarah's heart. I also thought the use of silence was very effective in creating a sense of tension and unspoken communication between the characters.

Overall, I think this is a very moving and thought-provoking story that will stay with me long after I have finished reading it. Thank you for sharing it with me.
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