sylverwolff, this piece rates well as a 'creepy' piece: I trust that you haven't actually given serious consideration to serial killing as a hobby. Tell us what motivates your character; has he been abused by a female parent? Is the 'love of his life' not acknowledging his attempts to woo her? This should be revealed, if only in passing, so your readers are aware of why he currently pursues this dark path in his life; the rage expressed is obviously deep-seated, so what does it stem from?
The victim you have here, Julia, is something about her a recurring theme with all of his victims, or is the victimology simply sociopathic desire? I noted "...it doesn’t really matter to me how they start out." in the work, so what caused him to focus on her? Obviously he values someone he can easily overpower, although 'bloodlust' rarely allows something as mediocre as gender interfere with the 'work' of a sociopath.
Speaking of work, what is it that your killer does? You mention 'colleagues' and a 10:00 'coffee break'; is this killer employed in a field that would enable him to give him a chance to “accidentally” run into her as she goes by."?
sylverwolff, I'd like to see the final draft of this work posted here; I hope my Review doesn't offend you, as that is not it's purpose. Good Luck with this project!
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