Yours is truer to the original, albeit with a neo spin to it. Poor Humpty. God rest his yolk. Excellent prose and punctuation by the way. What would we do without the Aggies of the world (sigh)?
I like this short and sweet poem, though I wonder if it is really geared for children (though the word "cuddles" helps a bit). Of course, it might depend on the age. Small children might not yet be familiar with the concept of unconditional love, perhaps a bit later on. IN any case, the picture certainly helps, since a child of any size can likely relate to the love they have for a pet (torments notwithstanding lol). Nice poem.
There are a number of things I like about this. The rhyme and flow are nice, though meter is not perfect. But I suspect that was not your focus anyway, and that's okay. The message transcends and I like the way you display reverence for life. It's in short supply these days. I especially like the part that ends in "a cord cannot be cut." Of course it can, but many would argue that it shouldn't. The only flaw I could find was that dowling is not a word. Surprising, since your command of English seems spot on. Of course, anyone can err, even the best writers. Likely you meant doling, but that is also a bit awkward. How about meting? Nice poem overall.
Nice inspirational poem. "Dream your dreams, then live them," if only that were possible for all. In reality, few actually get to live out their dreams in this world of 8 billion. It is a sad reality that much of humankind is simply trying (sometimes desperately) to eke out a living from day to day. Nevertheless, dreams/hopes are important to the human psyche. The only issue I can see is with the line: Then past them. It is bad English. Surprising, since all of your other lines are spot on. Maybe consider changing it to: Then surpass them. Nice poem.
Interesting letter to a certain entity apparently known as: Buttercup. I found no issues with grammar or spelling. The word choices were generally decent, though some of the sentence structures were awkward (example - ...and he just hopes a fire will strike out of nowhere.). The other issue is that this is so personal that we feel left out, or perhaps that we are voyeurs of a sort. We don't know these other characters, and they are not fleshed out. I'm sure the recipient gets it. Nice love letter.
I'm guessing this is a reference to Jesus? In any case a heartfelt poem about compassion and acceptance. Spelling and grammar are decent, though use of punctuation is inconsistent. Sometimes you choose to end a sentence with punctuation, others not (see for example line 4, stanza 1. Overall a sweet short poem.
Women! That aside I found your story humorous and light. Wasn't expecting the twist at the end, which made it all the better. Your grammar was decent and use of punctuation good, except for the annoying reverse quotation marks on some of your dialogue (lol). The only other advice I might give is that dialogue should be separated from the narrative so that it clearly stands out. Pick up any book and you will immediately see what I mean. Nice story Michael.
Interesting perspective on Halloween. As a student of the Bible myself I am keenly aware of the pagan affiliations. Some would like to ignore or dismiss such by saying: It's for the kids. But it doesn't change a thing. Anyway, the essay/blog has some issues with grammar, though the spelling is good. I like the silly string part (oops, hope that's ok - lol).
Sweet, short, and to the point. Not ground breaking by any means, but heartfelt. no issues with grammar or spelling, except that the last remeber should probably have the cap dropped. Death stinks, yet we all succumb. We all would like to think we will be remembered.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tommyboy2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 5:15am on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
