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Review of Inhumane Actions  Open in new Window.
Review by titch Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This has real potential. The idea that has been started in this section is great. But as a reader, I felt like I wanted more detail, I know that in the first paragraph you have included two smells, but maybe including what the character can see, giving the reader a much clearer picture of what is happening and what the character is going through. Another thing that you could possibly consider is including how the character reacts, what does he do when the pain hits him when he stands up?

I hope this is of some help to you.

Keep going, I look forward to reading the next part.
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