Dawn Embershi, it's been a long time since I have seen your name pop on the screen and item of yours to review. I have always enjoyed reviewing your items. Most of the items you write are easy to read and follow. Your poem came up in a random review. Thank you for sharing and I am so glad it was out of the norm to be so forward and not afraid to show an emotion. I loved the fact you don't mind writing out load and thanks for sharing. Okay on forward to the review.
I liked that the first four lines rhymed:
Call me crazy if you must
It really doesn’t have any affect
As I walk around talking to myself
There is no room in my head
The sentence here provided below provided no flaw in emotion from a writer.
No room for opinions or even the gestures
Of a so called “sane” human being
A second example of you showing no flaw in emotions as a writer.
It takes a true crazy person to do what I do
The only thing that I would reword is this line below just because of readers can continue reading.
So this is what I will continue to do
Revised "This is what I will continue to do"
Delete the word So helps the line transition without loosing focus. I think every sing stanza and line was perfect. I just would eliminate the word so to make it where the reader wants to keep reading. I enjoyed saying this over in mind since it's poetry. ":Sing and dance as if life were a musical" I wanted to edit " Sing and dance in life as we were in a musical. Your line on that one is actually works also. But playing with it more I'd add as if life was a musical and bring out more personality as a writer.
I overall liked you poem and and love the additude in it. This poem put me in a very good mood. My very favorite line "So I have no plans of stopping the conversations". You are the a very good writer. I really enjoyed reading and hope you have a wonderful day.
Good Afternoon 👼intueyLet Your Light Shine, I came across your item in random read for poetry. I love things that sparkle so as an active reader I had to take a glance and a chance to read review your poem. I really didn't want to be disappointed to come across a poem that didn't show any writer's interest in what a poem could be about. However I come to read yours and I was not disappointed at yours. I really enjoyed reading about the action of what might take next. Than on top of all of it you wrote where the words rhyme. The imagination as a reader was there for what you wrote. The grammar was perfect and no errors in rhyme. My personal favorite was second paragraph the second and third stanza "sparks like sand, fly from their hand, taking flight in the wind" Than you also have the ability to rhyme while detailing the action such as your well wrote line "It knows exactly where to go, soaring in the dark, not missing its' mark. Settling on one who lies sleeping" The flow of the poem was written beautifully. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Present Tense I came across your item as a random read. Your detail to character was impressive. I really liked that you have a skill to get to the point with detail with character and be able to tell about Emily. I even got hooked on that she had found under her nose under a plant of mysterious capabilities to turn your finger blue. Again, the detail to tell a story is fantastic. The only thing I would change is the sentence is "A weed or some mystery plant her mom had sown" to " A mysterious plant of weed planted that was sown her the windows." Of course the sentence next where you wrote the line "At boring times" would definately captured the interest of readers. The ability to write in a different story language takes skills and braveness. You did so very well. This being my second mythic story I read today you have not disappointment me at all. This one I really enjoyed allot. Thank you so much for sharing.
Good afternoon, Angelica Weatherby-Star on topI came across your item in random review. I do like to read mythic and really enjoyed about Medusa and Pegasus and that you took the time understand the history. The flow I would change to "In the case that Arion and Pegasus are the same, those myths believes the origin" To "It was known that Arion and Pegasus are the same those myths beliefs are the origin." I'm not sure I was able to completely comprehend or if my suggestion would be better. All the facts and information kept me intrigued and so glad I was able to read about history. You kept me as a reader interested and learning and become more of an active reader. I really do appreciate that your time and also I was impressed with your writing skills. There were no errors in regards to stating about history of how Pegasus's came about. Thank you for sharing.
Naomi, this is very sweet. At first I thought when I seen the title than you used in the the first paragraph that you this poem was going to throw me in some technological realm. Instead it was such the depth of sweet words that was identifying your husband that made this article really sweet and neat to read. I also assumed at first that this was going to be a short Acrostic Prose but instead it was actually the length of the word (Husband). Most Acrostic Prose struggle to make each letter have a representation for each letter of the subject they are talking about. However you had no problem being sharp of what each letter of the spelling and being descriptive. I also noticed this wasn't brief paragraphs. The concept of telling what you husband means is informative which I thank you for sharing. This was actually an appropriate amount words for each letter. The layout was also nice. Allot of Acrostic Prose are hard to have a layout and an excellent example of what an Acrostic Prose should look like. It's not so much if the words rhyme in each stanza but lay out. Excellent layout.
Dear Sophy, I read this item and it has impacted me today. One thing I see you wrote about is life and that life happens. Today has been challanged me today. But once I see a person who doesn't complain and make life worth fighting than it so much more precious than a penny found on the ground. I unfortunately am dealing with some obsticles at the moment. I am married, hard of hearing in left ear, employed at job that I say not of my choice. I failed some how along the path when it came to making choices for me and what I wanted to do. This though is my strength to keep me up. So thank you for sharing your item. I hope one day that I can walk further and smile once more and thanks again. May the stars shine in your favor. - Tina
Wow, there are different forms in poetry but this one is classy. I like being able to imagine. I took a moment to be focusing on each stanza, gather my thoughts on which implicates more meaning. The poem provided imagery and yet wrote more elegant form of writing. It did provide more feelings in the paragraph before the last. The second stanza "Kept that mind prepared. Avoid intoxication of the destructive sort." That it self rereading let me know it's really good. When poetry makes you question rather if the intent just to write and to be heard than you know it's good. This poem was well heard and very well wrote. I absolutely like your poem and the style. Thank you so much for sharing.
Hi, thank you for letting me review your item. Your name popped up because you are celebrating Writing.Com Anniversary. Congratulations, and may your writing ahead bring you the best.
Cause and Effect Their was consistency with making sure it rhymes. The second stanza before the last was quite cool. It played off as making sure the poem fit to poetic rhyme and just made the poem stand out. Allot of people can write poems but however to write where you chance the stanza before the last not the same letters still flowed astonishingly well.
ConclusionThe poem was relatable to the reader and still gets a effect if rather reader can relate. The style is spot on and seem to emphasize character of the writer. Most importantly it was skillfully wrote and liked how all fit together. I also liked your portfolio. I noticed you mentioned your a writer and also english and writing. I am happy you are here with us and I think you will make a great writer. Happy joy's with writing ahead.
Thank you for letting me do a review for you. Have a great week.
Hi, I'm glad to see such optimism in a Campfire Creative. The very first thing I like was how inviting it was. Everybody gets on here from time to time start looking for mispronounce words or something that would they can say. I can tell the difference between adding images to item can create a review. Coming from a review aspect of things I like the introduction being inviting and the precise effect of grab hot cocoa and write. Honestly, it made me want to be a part of your campfire. The image of the red house and the snow is lovely. I'm also quarter British and their always news about what's going on in the British household. Right now I hope we are not in a uphevel because now the Queen had deceased. Thanks again for allowing us to see images at the introduction. I enjoyed dazing at the snow dripping and looking freezing for house. All was well wrote and keeps people intrigued to want to participate.
Thank you for letting me review.
Hi, thank you for letting me review your item. Itroduction
Cause and EffectThoughtful and detailed words were used to describe the meaning of your feelings. One could not help but feel empathy which is what one who reads a poem feels. Thank you for allowing to share your item.
Conclusion There was no flaw. Everything was said that meant. No errors and thank you for sharing.
Thank you for letting me review your item and have a Happy New Year ahead.
There were several components in this short story I liked.
One the components is how well is the story is told. As I reading it I was looking for three things beginning, plot, and the end. As I reading on I was pulled into actually reading what was wrote. I felt the story was not a book that it was actually realistic and happening. Not much online material do I come across here does it seem like your actually enjoy what you read. I really have to say that I enjoyed your reading your item. I felt like it gave me a break from just coming across something and I was giving a change to really enjoy reading. So yes, this was very well presented and much had the pleasure of enjoying reading your item.
Secondly, I do look at how long will it be before there will be a sentence that will not belong or flow with the sentence. Again, intrigued by the flawless with not ending something that was a descriptive blah and would not actually be story telling. I felt the story was relatable. I as a reader couldn't say I enjoyed the beginning more than the end because I felt the end was just as meaning as the beginning. Also, you mentioned a very touchy topic. Not everybody can talk about Covid which is touch subject and get away without dwelling on the topic. I did not feel like you went in such random but provided a detailed experience which was quite enjoyable to read about the voided time in terms how covid left us a bore.
Lastly, I do pay attention to grammar. Not everybody has that talent of putting the words together in telling a story. This story you wrote I was fixed how well everything was well put. Easy to be annoyed if a letter isn't capitalized or a period isn't put where it needs to be. I found no errors which it made it more for me to enjoy this item without no flare. Sorry, if I went on details to say how well you wrote this item. For me I easily get bored at reading but when someone writes well and it able to bring out item that doesn't feel like reading its worth its credit. I see why your item was rated five stars. Again, thanks for the opportunity to read this and hope you have a wonderful rest of the Holidays.
Dorianne, my name is Tina Marie one of the writer's on this website whom stumble across your item on the main website THE HUB when you login into writing.com. I do like this ariticle you shared so in short way I'd like to say thank you for sharing your piece. Rememinece gives me memories of my own while I am still waking up in the morning in God's glory being able to be very thankful to wake a new day. It is somewhat a little damp here and humid in East Texas but waking up and to read here on this site is a blessing. With you piece I could relate in personal details based in my own reasons such as the lake and Grandmal. My Mom lives at the lake and I have stayed at the lake for nine years beside her while my kids got to live next to her. She was over yesterday and made pancakes for them. As an experienced reader and fellow writer I can tell that in your item you express passion for writing. That is a good quality that is seen here. I'm not to sure why you have words underlined but I assume being taught in school that it's to put emphasis in on certain words into your passage. If I do say this correctly than that is a neat strategy because there is not many writers that I've come across do so. You see all kinds of skills and it was refreshing but more refreshing to see the passion you show in writing. Thank you much from a fellow writer.
Hi this is Tina Tina M. Courtney and I am a member of Writing.Com and also the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I look for the three things in a review. Introduction, the effect of story or item, and the conclusion. The effect of story or item such as poetry, short story, or even article how does cause and effect emotionally connect with the reader. I like to be keen on the emotional connection instead of spelling errors. As we begin, if at any time you feel to ask me a question on your review please ask away by my email tinag@Writing.Com or just click on the white email beside my user name Tina M. Courtney
Itroduction Automatically you feel the setting of the poem. A reader could easily imagine what spring would look like.
Cause and Effect
The pattern matched with the creativity the writer intended to let readers comprehend. Only room for suggestions consider adding words in that would play with the readers thought including few more words at the last sentence in your middle stanza. I like the flow it is very fun to read. Conclusion The poem allowed the readers to imagine. Great first paragraph stanza. Thank you for letting me do a review for you. Have a great week. Brought to you by Tina M. Courtney
Hi this is Tina Tina M. Courtney and I am a member of Writing.Com and also the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I look for the three things in a review. Introduction, the effect of story or item, and the conclusion. The effect of story or item such as poetry, short story, or even article how does cause and effect emotionally connect with the reader. I like to be keen on the emotional connection instead of spelling errors. As we begin, if at any time you feel to ask me a question on your review please ask away by my email tinag@Writing.Com or just click on the white email beside my user name Tina M. Courtney
Itroduction
I love this poem. There was a nice flow to the poem and there was no word to describe it just speechless
Cause and Effect This poem is relatable and very inspirational.
Conclusion You get in the morning work 8 to 12 hours a day but when you read this poem the effect leaves you wanting to get back up and do it again.
Thank you for letting me do a review for you. Have a great week. Brought to you by Tina M. Courtney
The poem is very inspiring. I enjoyed it and thank you for sharing.
Hi, Chiu. I think your poem is absolutely cute. I love the consonants in the second line play at the end of the sentence. Other words, I like that the last words triple tine nice and wine play together to make one great poem. The end was imagery so it also played well with your poem. I think the poem is very sweet cute and cool. Liked your playful love poem.
Hi, Prosperous Snow. I have not been able to read a poem about writing short and unique. I like that you kept it short and of course you wrote about writing. Have a wonderful evening and thanks.
Hey Jim, its me Tina and I know you haven't herd from me in a while. I seen you posted a poem and wanted a second opinion. Usually when I see a post that got a bad review and they want someone else to review I try to do my best to put on my captain hat. OK so reading your poem I did take a second glance. There were allot to read and so when you are actually reading its important to know items can't be glanced.... It actually has to be read. One of the great talents you have when you write poetry is that you keep everything new. Its never the same and its like reading new material. The layout was confusing for example that I'll show at the end of review. The poem is beautiful. The consonance are totally there throughout. I honestly wouldn't change a thing besides one comment I will share, Lornda told me one day after reading one of my reviews that was a review for someone else item to put down what it is you like I appreciate in their item. Also she got on to me and said don't worry about putting down correction. Your poem anew and nothing wrong with it. Here is the example I was talking about earlier about the format. On that ward, he was her favorite one. She had read to him whenever she could,
Hi Jack I am in the same writing group in item "Invalid Item" Public Review Group. It has been a while since I visited the page of Public Review and took a chance at visiting your port. I came across this poem and was very pleased with it. It's funny how odd in comparison of this poem I feel. I like that it explain an emotion and that you delightful made it beautiful. The rhythm and rhymes were so perfect it was tongue twisting fun with a catch to read along.
Full of imagination working in second stanza.
Third stanza so full of emotion I thought I would have to stop because it really was good I didn't know what to expect for my own emotions. Very perfected and well wrote.
Fifth stanza it was the high light point of the emotion of the poem-He will get bored and disappear...
Fourth you can hear imagination of how to expect to feel as the reader and it was well wrote.
I can't complain has to be one of my favorite poems. You truly did a remarkable job with this poem. Thanks for sharing. -Tina Marie Writing.Com Member
Hi Paris Girl, I am reviewing your poem and I'm Tina. I'm a member here on Writing.Com here on WDC and thanks for sharing your poem with the rest of the Writing community. I enjoyed the first three stanzas and enjoyed that you wrote about travel a place that is not home. You made me the reader as if I weren't home. Even inspired me to write what places I want to travel as if were not at home. Hum, what places and what do they look like if I wanted to add in a poem. You are right. You should see the world. Good luck with your travels even in the Writing World .
Hi Ann Lapine, I am Tina and I'm a member of Writing.Com. I have been for four year. Anyhow, I was just reading your article about ways to keep our memory. I like how you mention several examples. The resources was very helpful and gets me to want to check in for a brain exercise. So yes you did provide enough information on how to keep your memory. Most impressive and interesting was Jaques-Dalcroze Eurhythmice as they have already mention in Medical Outreach Media. Here are a few suggestion but before I make any just want to remind you that I enjoyed reading this and your article was very interesting. Okay, I'm in the medical field working in Medical Housekeeping in Dementia Unit. I am past graduate National Certified Medical Assistant, Current BLS CPR, First Aide, Blood Borne, Certified. Current completion in Medical Terminology and Medical Coder. In 2015 I hope to be certified Medical Coder. I work in a nursing home facility that my mom has worked in for 16 years. Ive worked there 3 yrs. In a Dementia unit they teach you that patients taste is the last thing to go. That something sweet to give them is what they remember. Also, remembering that staff have to be positive. Any negativity can only cause more stress and lead higher statistics of memory loss. These are just some few things I know that can help in using with the nursing home. I hope they help if you are wanting to add more to your article. Have a great night.
Hi whiskerface, I like this poem allot. It rhymes and tells a story to which I can relate. Personal favorite quatrain stanza and lines
I can write a grumble
Like the one you're reading here
But iambs keep me humble
And skitterry as a deer
Hold it I lie. Here's another of my favorite quatrain
I cannot, cannot write a poem
The forms rush away, fleet
One hides behind a garden gnome
With gnarly Hobbit feet
I can personally relate to the writing.
You don't have to be a professional writer to write what you feel.
There is definite image in your description of emotions. The poetry was great with rhythm but also with technical wording. Not everyone can relate to the poem because their situation may be different but it is good to have a poem that tells the audience. So in fancy way thank you for sharing your poem.
Hi Moonbeans, my name is Tina. I've been on WDC, Writing.Com for a few years and want to take an opportunity to say hi and to let you know that we are thankful you are part of the Writing Community. When I first read your poem the first the thing I liked is metaphors. You have a way of expressing poetry with your senses of vision. You can emphasis this and that same way you did with your last sentence " Hope of what is to come is better in the walk of life." Your capable of highlighting you inner thoughts and bringing it to life when you wrote "Reflections of what was and not able to the future". Suggestion, go back and revise you second line not sure where I am or what I am at like the mirrors of life. The last part of the words in the sentence needs to be eliminated. A gift of poetry is that you wrote it.
More insights and tips for future poems,
a. You have several senses. Touch, smell, taste, write all of it in each poetry you write.
b. Metaphors. There great when you write poetry. Her lips remained cold as the midnight velvet skies leaving her alone for the rest of her lonely days.
c. Dictionary is good to cruise for words to add in.
Thank you for sharing you poem and it was a great honor to read.
One of the first things that popped out to me looking at this link is that it is so organize. I knew what Product Review was before I started reviewing this now because when I didn't know as a newbie you were very sweet and understanding on to's. The kind of hospitality is unforgettable. The other thing I like about this link is because it isn't just your typical reviewing where you write plus rate all in one forum. Now the tricky part is reading other's authors, members, online writers, online fictions. This will take motivation but looking at beginning soon. Also this link gives more variety to read as well options.
Sincerely, Tina.
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