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Review of Claws!!!  Open in new Window.
Review by Tifo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I liked that very much, the story had a good flow and a great gimmick. I enjoyed the chaos of him jumping between dreaming and reality it kept a good pace throughout. This is a great piece of work for some one starting out and with some minor changes could be considered for commercial use. A couple of things to work on:
1. There are some grammatical errors through out that need attention, the use of too many comma's in one place and none in places they are needed. Obviously as you keep writing you will iron these out as you keep getting better and better.
2. The use of real world references takes away from your story. Had you not mentioned the name Harry Potter when he passed through the wall I would've still been able to follow the story perfectly and it would not have put a secondary image in my mind that took away from what was happening. Secondly at the end it would be very effective to describe the claws he had used in detail rather than referring to Freddy Krueger. With out those references your story is all your own work and makes it scarier.

I hope that I was helpful and encouraging, its a really good story and kept me interested all the way through keep it up.
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