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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thungon
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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Thorn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
While the story was pretty amazing, and the plot nicely developed, I do not necessarily like how it ended with the policemen. That part seems better if it was left as is, with them splitting up in the alley looking for the 'woman'. Maybe if the police were detectives would it be ok, but I don't see why detectives would be searching for a woman because she just punched her used-to-be husband. Or if it was a case of a missing person would it probably make the most sense...

Overall though, nice read. I was looking for a essay to read, a non-fiction one, and the fact that this had me captivated enough to finish shows that this was definitely a story worth reading.
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Review of The Long Holiday  Open in new Window.
Review by Thorn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
It is an interesting story, but I feel that it is unfinished. I was expecting more than a robbery scene at the end with the plot development in the beginning. The elevator ride and the flashbacks to the conversation with the doctor was well written, and even though I can't describe where it should lead, where it led here has something slightly off. So room for improvement lies in the denouement.
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Review by Thorn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Definitely made me reread, this had a nice twist at the end. You set the mood well in the third paragraph with the abominations in the court house and such. I think that the android/human application works well and the twist fits all the facts as much as the original idea that Lisa was the android. All the little hints make rereading this definitely worth its while.
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