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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thouchin
Review Requests: OFF
18 Public Reviews Given
18 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am an avid reader. I know what I like to read. I tend to give my overall feel for a piece then go back and tell what I think will make it read better. I will point out grammar issues particularly if they affect how a piece reads. If I am reviewing a first chapter I will make comments about the hook, voice, plot, if I like the scene and setting, and characters. These are things as a writer that I try to nail in the first chapter.
I'm good at...
I think I do well with pointing out what works in a piece and what I have a hard time with in a piece. I don't always know what to do to fix it, but sometimes I offer suggestions.
Favorite Genres
Historical fiction, romance, or paranormal, comedy, children's are my favorites.
Least Favorite Genres
Poetry Non-fiction
Favorite Item Types
first chapters of novels, short stories, essays,
Least Favorite Item Types
poetry
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Miss Terry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Maggie, I just had to read your piece. I was curious to find out what "egg tempera paint" was. I've never heard of it before.
Your article was interesting. I liked the history lesson on what paints were made from before we could just buy them in stores. I sure could have used your information for a class I took in college where we had to use only things found in nature to create something that could be used in our home.
Your step by step directions for making "egg tempera paint" were easy to understand and seemed to be in a good order. I might even give them a try.
Thanks for letting me review your article.
Hope you have a great day!

Miss Terry
2
2
Review by Miss Terry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Heather I enjoyed your story very much. I am guessing since you said there are no chapters in the story that somewhere in the beginning of the story there are descriptions of Ellie and Toby and an explanation of what they are doing on this journey. That being said... I got a sense of their relationship and figured out they are on some "Amazing Race" kind of adventure. I could tell a little about Toby by the way he takes care of Ellie. You gave indications that there are problems that Ellie caused that had her sister staying with McKenna's thugs. That will be an interesting arc to wind through the story. All kinds of possibilities there.

Grammar:
Sentence 1: and the temperature were already almost I think it should be singular and the temperature was

Thank you for asking me to review your story. Hope you have a wonderful day.

Terry
3
3
Review of Believe  Open in new Window.
Review by Miss Terry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I loved the story. Having lost a son myself, it really touched my heart. I have a few corrections though....
1. I think you need a "the" in the sentence I'll go cast some bait at fish in lake"
2. it should be "groped" for the light instead of "grouped"
3. You say "giggling sounded farther away like or as if the giggler were going out the back door" I think it should be either "like the giggler was going "
or " as if the giggler was going" no both like and as if
4. I think the placement of from the bedroom would sound better at the beginning of the sentence From my bedroom I know I heard giggling, a child's giggling.
5. The whisper "rode" not "road" the breeze
6. This next one, I know what you mean, but I think you should show with words what you mean. "It was warm and smelled of springs"
What do springs smell like?
I really loved the story and can only imagine all the possibilities of life on another plane where time is different. I can't wait to read more of your work.
4
4
Review of Moose  Open in new Window.
Review by Miss Terry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
You did a great job! The imagery is good, The dialog is good. I could picture everything you were trying to get us to see. I didn't really know how old of a boy Jimmy was, but I pictured him to be between seven and ten. Didn't really matter as we picture a little boy being dragged by the huge dog. I loved it.
5
5
Review by Miss Terry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
You captured creepy and eerie very well. Reminded me of watching a scary movie on the television then having to journey down the hall and into the bedroom. Worrying the whole time that something was going to reach out and grab you. You fall asleep and you are reliving everything you saw only it is different. You aren't sure what is real and what is your imagination.


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