I love poetry. I am always encouraged to see others giving it a try. I am geared more to free- flowing styles with very little structure. Sometimes the only thing that distinguishes my poetry from prose is the appearance of the piece. That said, I will give this piece a very biased review, ( remember that form, rules, and rhyming are antithetical to my preferred approach).
I find it difficult to read this poem because of the care you've taken with form. It seems too structured and repetitive. I would like to see an unrelated line thrown in regularly, at intervals, to surprise the reader with the work you've done with form and rhyming. I salute the hard work you've so obviously done. I think my poetry needs more form. I also think that this poem could use less. Thanks for the submission.
-Thorj
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