In the distance of time I can literally hear the clapps of praised applause of Robert Frost!
Use of objects - PERFECT!
Ambiguity - AMAZING!
Structure - pre modern and I could not have thought of a better way to do it!
Theme - Wonderfuly stated!
Surprise! Your grasp on cultural differences is astounding! You even add the factor of misunderstood cultural differences. Since this seemed to be the theme (the message not the story) you could actually write an entire science fiction book on the cultural differences, and the misunderstandings of these differences within the story you have going.
Your characters are solid. From the elitist *Clara* giving wrong information to Joy & Alice. You incorporate into the piece parts of the past, since this is obviously not the beginning of the story I think it is done quite well. Just be careful not to let your main characters slip out of role completely; “Since I can’t bite my tongue and talk at the some time, I’ll have to deal with the consequences of smiling at Ambassador Forst.“ her role is very serious, and if things are as she has been told she has to continue to fight the urge to smile. Never let your characters throw their hands in the air or give in.
The story was so interesting I did not notice any small word usage spots at first, since that is not part of a critique I can only mention to reread this again. You are going to anyway since you are going to continue writing this (I hope!) because this will be a very good book! If you have never taken a Cultural Anthropology class, you should, you would get a very high grade, you understand it very well.
Descriptivism, Excellent! Objectivity, Excellent! Incorporation of transitions within a story, Excellent! Satire use, Great! If you have ever read the story about Walter Mitty you have done better then Thurber in your transition from reality to imagination back to reality, BRAVO! Transition from thought to speech, Perfection! This is my professional opinion.
As far as reader response it was awesome. Though I might never have thought about the aspect of insanity into criminal actions leading into the situation of this character it was something you were able to make real. Awesome! Sometimes it is hard for me to connect with a character that is criminally insane which normally hampers my own personal reader response, this piece, awesome!
My present in return, never stop creating. “Peace is a path we walk with intent it is not a destination.” Keep walking your path!
I have to give it a 5 because I always love when people completely stay away from traditional pros. In this a multidimensional picture has been created.
It is very hard to get people to understand what piece you are giving of yourself, you have done this. In this not just sorrow, but a combination of sorrow and despair is a reader response. I would suggest someone reading this read it several times to really feel it.
I think Robert Frost would enjoy this. Short, to the point, yet speaking volumes.
Things are indeed not always what we think they are, and yet sometimes we find things that are. I think this poem is very well stated, well rounded and well written. You could remove the hyphen and make the same point, if someone has to read it several times as I did, so be it, thus the point of poetry.
Very well done.
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