Though I'm not religious myself, I like this poem and see a universal appeal in its self-reflection on the human trait of never being satisfied, always yearning and seeking, and in a sense damaging and harming ourselves in the process when we could instead be glad of what we have. Sometimes we don't have something we truly need, but for many of us the dissatisfaction is essentially of our own making, and stanza three is a succinct and splendid way of showing this. This builds to an acceptance in the final verse, and even that is couched in terms of 'maybe', clearly from a narrator who understands their own nature and the likelihood of once again falling for their own old tricks. Good job.
I think this is a beautiful poem, with a palpable sense of longing in its language. The rhythm and repetition adds a vein of desperation throughout. The twist of the final line suggests an inevitability to the tragedy of the story, and ties the whole scene together. I'm not entirely sure about using the final line in every single verse, since reading over it so many times feels to me to break up the flow of the narrator's plaintive cries, but the repetition does add power to that final line in the final stanza.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/themike
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 4:34am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
