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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thebishop
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59 Public Reviews Given
87 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of As I Ask  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

Again this is a good piece of poetry. It flows well and speaks of powerful emotions inside.

Grammar etc:

This could be my lack of grammar skills, but shouldn't line 5 be "not too hard" etc?

What I liked:

The suggestive nature of this poem

Words of Encouragement:

You have a gift - I do hope you continue to bless us with it.
2
2
Review of I Remember  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:

A nice little poem - simple yet effective.

Flow:

The flow of this piece is fine. Its not my fav style of poety but it works.

Grammar etc:

I didn't come across anything

What I liked:

The repetition of the phrase "I remember..."

Suggestions:

Couple of things. Firslty the layout. Would it be better to divide up the lines:
"In your eyes I saw the stars,
They went on for miles." etc

Also the phrase "entangled like a glove" To me gloves are not something I consider to be entangled much. I have to admit I can't think of anything other...than glove. Perhaps the word that needs to change is "entangled"

Words of Encouragement:

This is a good solid poem. You are demonstrating really good potential and I hope to be able to read some more soon. Keep writing and sharing
3
3
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

A very descriptive and vivid short. Full of potential for more

Flow:

The flow is rapid. I liked the way it opened up with the end and moved from there, and interesting way to begininng

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

You have a talent for description. It was easy to imagine what you where describing to us.

Characters:

I am interested in Michael I want to know more about what happened before and what is happening now.

Grammar etc:

I didn't find any mistakes.
What I liked:

Suggestions:

Its hard to see where things could get better. Perhaps - if possible take more time and go into more detail about what is happening to Michael to draw the reader into a more intimate relationship with him. I felt a little detached from the character. That is my only crit/suggestions.

Words of Encouragement:

This is a good solid piece of work. I am impressed by your talent. Keep writing and sharing this story with us.
4
4
Review of My Story  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:

A moving story. Is it based on a true story or is it fiction?

Flow:

You are sharing some powerful news with us and the flow is very rapid making it hard to take it all in.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

This isnt bad. It could be worked on a bit, with some more decriptive stuff to help draw the reader more into the horrible situation.

What I liked:

The emotive subject and the hope at the end thanks to the father.

Suggestions:

As I have mentioned - some more descriptive work would not only engage the reader more but was also raise the standard too.

Words of Encouragement:

You have a great base here. And a powerful story to share. Keep writing and sharing your gift.
5
5
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

Another beautiful poem. Full of the sadness of winter.

Flow:

Is good and powerful.

What I liked:

I found the final line very moving. Loss and death is such a hard thing to turn into words. You did it well.

Suggestions:

It feels as if there should be another line. I realize this might not be possible but I was just expecting more.

Words of Encouragement:

I am growing to like your style very much. Keep writing.
6
6
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

A very simple, yet effective poem.

Flow:

There is a natural flow to this, from sea to air.

What I liked:

The natural flow you have from sea to air, the surprise as it takes to wing.

Suggestions:

Are you set upon the bird being a gull. There are many sea birds - perhaps an albertros or a puffin?

Words of Encouragement:

You have a real talent. Keep creating!
7
7
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:

I read the other chapters, but decided to hold the rest of my comments for here.

Flow:

The flow is great. It is fast pased and non-stop.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

All the way through it possible to picture what is happening. It is well described.

Characters:

The characters are growing and developing in each chapter. This is really good.

Grammar etc:

Seemed fine to me.

What I liked:

The ending! What a cliff hanger for the chapter!

Words of Encouragement:

As I said at my first review. This is not my normal style but I have found it addictive and well written. Well done. And please write the next chapter soon!

God bless.
8
8
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

This is developing into a very interesting tale. I am looking forward to reading the other chapters.

Flow:

It is fast and moves quickly - which given the circumstances its very likely.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

You continue to draw on some very powerful imagery and good use of words. For example "the heavy oak door" says so much more than "door".

What I liked:

In this chp I really liked the dialogue between Séamus and Treasa Kelley

Words of Encouragement:

Keep writing, this is really good.

God bless
9
9
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

This is not normally the type of story I read, but I found it very interesting.

Flow:

The story develops at a pace in keeping with the setting and Ii really like this.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

Your opening sentence captured my imagination. And I think has set the scene for the rest of the story.

Characters:

You have created some very believable characters who you can empathise with.

Grammar etc:

I could not find anything.

What I liked:

The descriptive elements. I admired the way you describe the scenes so well.

Words of Encouragement:

This is a good story. You have a real talent and I am looking forward to reading the rest.
10
10
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Having read your earlier one I had to look at this one too. Your imagery is really good and creates a definate atmosphere for the reader/hearer and and the chorus is very good.

I did have to re-read verse 3 a couple of times, so I am not sure if that needs a look at or whether that was just me.

You are a talented song writer and should be encouraged to keep on writing and sharing your works.
11
11
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for sharing this with us here on WDC. This is clearly something very personal to you. It is a very powerful description of a life lived and shared with others.

You have combined you personal feelings so well with the descriptive nature. I am pleased to have been able to read it. Thank you.
12
12
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very simple, yet effective poem. I can see how it must have helped you through tough times. I really like the imagery you have used in it. Everything is of the air, floating, sky rainbow etc and this helps capture a mood for the journey as it were.

Well done. Keep sharing and writing.
13
13
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:

This is great! Its a brilliant depiction of our need for God and our need for each other.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

You have a real talent with words to create wonderful images in the readers mind.

Words of Encouragement:

This is a great little poem. Keep up the great work.
14
14
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:

This sounds like a fitting tribute to a very special man. You have a lovely way with words that leaves the reader (or hearer) in no doubt how you feel about Rod

Words of Encouragement:

I hope you continue to write and seriously consider writing more songs. Keep on writing
15
15
Review by The Bishop
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:

This is an interesting poem that I got, but found a little difficult to read. You certainly have dealt with an interesting topic in greed and money and I think you have handled it well.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

I liked the imagery you used. I especially like the idea of flying free.

Grammar etc:

Nothing that I could see.

Words of Encouragement:

This was a good solid piece of work which I enjoyed readind. Keep writing and sharing your talent with us here.
16
16
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:

I thought this was a really good piece of writing. Very contempoary and relevant to our times. You told a good story that kept me reading all the way through.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

You're desciptive elements ok, I might have tried to do some more description of the scenes - like the old leather chair worn into shape - but having said that I could just imagine the character sitting in their house glued to the screen.

Grammar etc:

I found one typo here....

"No one had ever called up to request that they remove thier services from thier (their) home.."

Words of Encouragement:

You have a real talent here. I was hooked - almost addicted to it. Well done and keep writing - please!!!
17
17
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:

This is not the usual thing I would read, but I found it very well put together. Especially bring to two stories into one.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

The imagery you used was good and enabled me to picture and imagine the scenes described. I especially liked the scene on the deck of the Carrier.

Characters:

Good, well constructed characters - I presume based on historical facts?

Grammar etc:

I didn't notice any mistakes or errors in this area.

Words of Encouragement:

I did enjoy this piece of writing. It flows well and is a good read. Keep up the good work.
18
18
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
This has been a real journey. Thank you for posting your thoughts and feelings and being so honest. Its great to have people here who are open about how they feel and willing to share it with the world. In the virtual world its so easy to be false. To pretend to be something we are not. You are a beacon to people here about honesty and integrety and your blog shows that. Thank you for posting it up and please continue to post - regardless of what one or two people might rate you.

God bless.
19
19
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:

This was very brave of you to post this. You have written from the heart and it shows.

Imagery/Scenery/Setting:

I particularly liked these two lines "But fright can come to you at any age,
My fears won, kept me locked in a cage," The imagery that you create with these few words is brilliant. Well done.


Grammar etc:

I didnt find any mistakes.

Words of Encouragement:

You have been extremely brave posting this up and I think you have done an amazing job with writing this song. You have a talent and should be encouraged to keep on song writing.

God bless
20
20
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:

Again a very well crafted piece of work.

Imagery:

With few words you have greated powerful imagery that captures the readers imagination.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation:

I didn't find any mistakes

Suggestions:

My favourite bit is "but Hark! to be a mocking bird"

Closing Remarks:

You have a real talent. Be encouraged
21
21
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:

So very simple and yet so very effective

Imagery:

With few words you have crafted a delightful little poem!

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation:

I could see any mistakes

Suggestions:

None that I can think of. It is effective just the way it is.

Closing Remarks:

It takes real talent and imagination to be able to convey such imagery in so few words. Well done and keep writing!
22
22
Review by The Bishop
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
You asked for a review - so here it is:

Overall Impressions:

This is an interesting tale. I think it has some potential but also needs some work to get it there.

Imagery:

The imagery is good, you have the beginings of some talent here. You could perhaps work on developing ideas a bit more. For example "Meanwhile back in the magically built up areas" sounds a little blunt and could be much more descriptive.

Characters:

There is some real scope with these characters. Again it might help the reader if you work a bit more on the descriptive side of the Characters - more detail about the baby for example, or Krug - I imagined him as some sort of battle hardended man - and would suspect he would have some scars of war that could add to his appearance.

Grammar etc:

There are a few mistakes: For example

"Krug back away hitting the edge of the globe," it should be "backed". I am happy to go through in more detail if you like - just let me know.

Suggestions:

Don't rush a story - give it space and room to grow. It all happens very quickly and could be developed more with more descriptive scenes and dialogue/character development.

Closing Remarks:

This is good, it does need work, but its worth putting in the effort. Keep writing and don't give up. I want to know where this goes.
23
23
Review by The Bishop
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
You very graciously reviewed my little story of Jesus and the Sales Assistant and I wanted to see how you used your gift of writing. I loved this idea. I am a youth minister in the UK and with your kind permission I'd like to use this idea next Easter. I think its brillant.

It's so true that kids learn best when its fun. And I think adults do too most of the time. Thanks for this.

God bless.
24
24
Review of Rockabee  
Review by The Bishop
Rated: E | (4.0)
I thought this was a good story. It is well written and keeps you interested all the way to the end. Descriptively it is good and the overal story arc works well. I really liked the ending too. I felt that it was a good way to round it off. Well done.
25
25
Review of Mother Eirith  
for entry "Mother Eirith." 
Review by The Bishop
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really enjoyed reading this story. This is a good piece of work. You have obviously worked hard on developing this into a good story. I really liked the dialouge and the descriptive scenes were excellent. Keep on writing and keep on creating insane characters.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thebishop