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Review by Thanos6 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I quite like this. I get a very "Dr. Watson" feel from the narration with a dash of aristocratic pomposity. I would be interested in seeing how his life gets shaken up in Liverpool and Venezuela. I would have to say that the opening sentence, "It just seemed like a normal day," seems unnecessary; if the chapter began with the next sentence, "Outside my window..." it would work much better. Additionally, when he checks his watch, he refers to it as the "umpteenth time." That seems a rather casual adjective for a man of this station and mindset to use, and it took me out of the setting. I think another word would work much better.


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