I like the core of the story. However, I think it could be improved and tightend up. For example, if you removed the word 'female' in the second sentence the fact that this figure is female would come out in the third sentence. The main character seems a little materialistic (frequent use of the word 'I') but makes a statement of 'our car'.
I would like to read a revision of this story - especially when tightend and the core message is profoundly revealed.
Good story!
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