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9 Public Reviews Given
25 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Constant  Open in new Window.
Review by Aaaaarabella Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hey, there. Thanks for sharing this piece.

*Bullet*Importantly (punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc.):I want to suggest that you copy and paste this poem into a word processor. There were too many spelling errors for me to point out and multiple punctuation errors (well, a lack of punctuation at all, really). This fact takes a lot out of the poem and makes it difficult to understand. Also, the misspell of a certain curse word got you out of the obligitory harsher rating this poem should have. I suggest taking a look at that. After some intensive editing, though, this poem would be much more presentable.
*Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*More Importantly (flow, rhyming, clarity, etc.):I would like to make another suggestion. Read this poem alloud to yourself. You'll find that the lines are rather chopy instead of flowing from one to the next. Also, the rhyme scheme you've used doesn't seem to have any sort of "rhyme or reason" if you will. Some regularity in that area would make the poem sound better and also improve the flow.
*Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*Most Importantly (ideas, emotion, wording, etc.):It is quite obvious that you are emotional about this subject. You've even expressed some new and creative ideas in this poem that I've never really considered. I respect that, and would respect it even more if the over-all topic was a fresh one. A few lines I did especially like was, "The sun is gone/Winter extends all year long." This really encompasses your fresh ideas.
*Star**Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*Average stars:
*Star**Star**Star* *Halfstar*


Very nice poem, thank you for sharing it. If you feel you disagree with my review, feel free to contact me, also, if you decide to edit it, tell me and I'd be happy to re-review. Thanks again. *Smile*

*Heart* Arabella
2
2
Review of Lost  Open in new Window.
Review by Aaaaarabella Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey, there. Wow. Very effective poem. Thank you for sharing it.

*Bullet*Importantly (punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc.):I really have no complaints aside from the fact that you have no end punctuation. Granted, people often do this to excite a certain feeling, but lack of punctuation is lack of punctuation.
*Star**Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*More Importantly (flow, rhyming, clarity, etc.):Very wonderful. The lines grew and shrunk slightly in syllable count, but over all it was very uniform and wonderful to read aloud. The rhymes were fresh and creative and I especially respect the fact that you used some slant rhyme. It show's you've courage, which is always admirable. Your words were both clear yet figurative and I enjoyed reading them both to myself and aloud immensely.
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*Most Importantly (ideas, emotion, wording, etc.):You most certainly let the emotion flow from your pen in this poem. Well done. The words were fantastic and full of expression. Though I did enjoy it so much and it was written so well, however, I cannot give you full stars in this section. To be blunt, being sad has been done. Over and over again. Also, the title of this poem is rather cliche and unexpressive (I'm rather keen on creative titles). I think you are definitely a wonderful writer, and I would have liked to have read something about a more original topic.
*Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*Average stars:
*Star**Star**Star**Star*


Thank you so much for sharing this poem. I really truly enjoyed it greatly. I look forward to reading different pieces by you as I feel I'll enjoy them even more. Thanks again and please, please, please "Write On"!

*Heart* Arabella
3
3
Review of A Simple Dream  Open in new Window.
Review by Aaaaarabella Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey, there. Very nice piece!

*Bullet*Importantly (punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc.):Unfortunately, this poem was somewhat lacking in this area. Several key punctuation marks that are imperative to the clarity of this poem are missing and many words are mispelled. Also you've used adjectives in place of adverbs such as "slow" at the end of a line in the middle of the poem which should be, instead "slowly." You might consider typing this poem into a word processor program on your computer to clear up some of the mistakes.
*Star**Star*


*Bullet*More Importantly (flow, rhyming, clarity, etc.):I think the lack of punctuation in this poem makes it seem much more monotonous and much less sing-songy than it really is. I don't think the style of writing is wrong, but it is hindered by other downfalls. The rhyming is not cliche and is slightly slanted in areas, and I definitely respect that. Also, the iambic pentameter it seems you tried to create is not bad. With some minor tweaking and punctuation overhauling, this area of the piece would be superior.
*Star**Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*Most Importantly (ideas, emotion, wording, etc.):Your idea evident in this poem is moving and good. The word choice is most definitely superb and it tells a lovely story. Toward the end, however, you started writing a bit more choppily(word or no?) and jumped around a bit in your story and that hindered full understanding of your story, but still, it was well received.
*Star**Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*Average stars:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*


I think this piece could be wonderful with some editing. Please, if you decide to do so, notify me because I'd love to give it a better rating. Thanks very much for sharing it, I enjoyed reading it. *Smile*

*Heart* Arabella
4
4
Review by Aaaaarabella Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey, there. Initially, I think this poem is very nice.

*Bullet*Importantly (punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc.):There are only a few slight errors in this area. Those include the words "tourch" in your second line, which, instead, should read "torch" and "darken sky" in the first line of your third stanza, which should read "darkened sky." Aside from such minor mistakes, not bad.
*Star**Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*More Importantly (flow, rhyming, clarity, etc.):To tell the truth, in this respect, I'm a bit confused. Your rhyme scheme goes from aaaa to bbcc to even more crazy. I'd like to have seen more uniformity, even if that meant no rhyming. Also, towards the end of the poem, the meter begins to become more sporadic and unpredictable. It would have read much better if this hadn't occurred.
*Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*Most Importantly (ideas, emotion, wording, etc.):Wonderful. THe words you've used are monumental and impacting. The emotion is evident to overflowing and your idea is spectacular! I feel like I can really see into your soul, and that was quite an accomplishment. Very well done.
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*


*Bullet*Average stars:
*Star**Star**Star**Star*


Very nice poem. SOme minor editing and I think it could be spectacular. If you're interested in a re-review for any reason, tell me and I'll gladly consider your request. *Bigsmile* Thanks for writing and sharing!

*Heart* Arabella
5
5
Review of My Enemy  Open in new Window.
Review by Aaaaarabella Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey, there. Interesting poem.

*Bullet*Importantly (punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc.):Well, let's see. I'll start with the obvious. You've used no punctuation at the ends of any of your lines. I understand this is often used as a creative device, so I won't judge harshly for it. However, I think that when you were writing this poem, you weren't paying specific attention to making sense. Take, especially, for example:

"I am the result of my own fear
Destroying my own soul
Every minute, everyday
Killing me inside"

What is killing you inside? Or is it killing your inside? You are killing yourself inside or is it your fear? It is a bit vague and several other lines in the poem are similar. I think, sometimes writers, even the best, think that their emotional words can make the reader breeze over the fact that the lines don't make sense. It doesn't always work.
*Star**Star**Star*

*Bullet*More Importantly (flow, rhyming, clarity, etc.): Rhyming is not utilized in this poem, which is perfectly acceptable. Also, it isn't specifically metered at a regular counter, but this is just a nuance of free-style writing like this, so I do not take it seriously. It does sort of seem as if you just threw a bunch of ideas together in no sort of order, however. I'm not sure that this poem has something to hold it together considering it lacks most common poetic factors.
*Star**Star**Star**Star*

*Bullet*Most Importantly (ideas, emotion, wording, etc.): Your theme is a powerful and emotional yet somewhat over-used one. Granted, you made the hackneyed idea of sadness or pain and created something entirely your own, and I like that. Overall, after at least five read-throughs, I've decided I do indeed like this poem. I just think it needs an extra something, though I'm not positive what. You used some interesting words, which is definitely good and your style was creative. I think if you just set it aside for a while and then came back and read it and thought, "If I didn't know what this meant, would it make any sense to me?" you might be able to clear up some strange wordings and such. Honestly, though, thanks for sharing it.
*Star**Star**Star**Star*

*Bullet*Average stars:*Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*

Thanks so much for sharing this poem. *Bigsmile* It was nice to read something a little out of the ordinary yet something I could still, in a sense, relate to. If you decide to do any re-editing, I'd be more than happy to re-review. *Wink* Take care.

*Heart* Arabella
6
6
Review by Aaaaarabella Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey, there. Very effective poem.

*Bullet*Importantly (punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc.):
For such a strong poem, this area of the piece let me down. It has a lot of mis-placed punctuation and even some capitalization mistakes. Some major punctuation editing must be done before it can be more professional and seem more serious.*Star**Star**Star*

*Bullet*More Importantly (flow, rhyming, clarity, etc.):
The rhyming and clarity of this piece are wonderful. I love that you're not afraid to use some slant rhyme instead of ruining the seriousness of the piece by altering it too much. That is impressive. In a few spots, however (such as in line nine) the rhyme did seem a bit forced. Conversely, the meter is severely skewed. In order for the poem to read more smooothly, the lines should have similar syllable counts.*Star**Star**Star*

*Bullet*Most Importantly (ideas, emotion, wording, etc.):
It is quite apparant how deeply you feel about this topic. I strongly agree with your message and your poem made me feel, which is spectacular. Though I loved it and was touched by it, I can not give you the full five stars because I wish you had used more descriptive words. Poems are so much more touching with some exciting or unique words thrown in, I feel. *Star**Star**Star**Star*

*Bullet*Average stars:*Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*

I honestly did love this poem. Your message is clear and important. If you decide to edit and make it even better, I'd love to re-rate it; just inform me. *Smile* Keep up the wonderful writing!

*Heart* Arabella
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