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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sylviemoon
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4 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Sylvie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi E Jones,

I liked your piece and yes I know that demon too! I'm sure it is one that most people on this website would recognise.

I liked the way your author comes to realise that the monster is not an outside malicious force but one that comes from within and one that can only be conquered, "Through hard work, dedication, and probably a lot of coffee". I particularly liked this description - the introduction of 'coffee' is a reminder of the lonely writer labouring away at his PC wringing out lines from his imagination. A nice touch amongst the monsters and demons.

Well done keep going.
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Review of The Snow Globe  Open in new Window.
Review by Sylvie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

I liked your story it read very well - like a corporate Christmas Carol. The narrative movement from the present to the past was effective and well executed and the alternative future provided a heart warming ending with Jacob being redeemed - just like scrooge.

Your dialogue was good especially in the hospital scenes between the nurses and I like the image of the care assistant drinking her hot drink from her snowflake mug. This passage creates a good visual scene.

A well crafted and enjoyable story
Thanks
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