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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/surma
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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of My Monopoly Hat  Open in new Window.
Review by Rhea_Dreamaway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

What a lovely poem!! I love that it is funny, and it flows beautifully. The fact that it goes into a story caught me by surprise. It was, of course, a pleasant surprise. I like that you didn't reveal the costume in the line 'While I looked quite dapper in my black top hat' and instead revealed it later in the line “Hey Abe, that’s a really nice hat on your head.” I believe it adds to the feel of a story being revealed towards the end. I cannot find anything that I can add as a negative criticism. It really is a beautiful poem, and I am not exaggerating when I say that you are a gifted poetry writer.

Best,
Rhea
2
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Review of The Little Things  Open in new Window.
Review by Rhea_Dreamaway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi,

I like the tone of the poem. The line that I found the most beautiful is 'Is love just an emotion for the squirrels and the doves?' However, I found the phrase 'All the people of the of the world' a bit repetitive, and somehow less pretty than the rest of the poem. Instead of 'Is this world all too busy for a little thing called love?', you could also use 'is the world all too busy for a little thing called love?' Instead of the phrase 'don't notice these simple things,' you could use 'don't notice the simple things,'. Instead of 'and say this with despair,', you could use 'and ponder this with despair, - somehow thinking a despairing thought sounds more poetic than saying it.

I loved the feel of the poem, I feel the same sometimes. Good luck with your writing.

Best,
Rhea
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