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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/summerlyn
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717 Public Reviews Given
766 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ The title...I found myself tripping over the title and catching myself. I thought at first, my eyes were deceiving me, for I thought I read, Stop...Stop...the Church Mouse. In catching it, I thought...this title is intriguing and that in itself coaxed me into wanting to read this. A Good Title!

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ A good start in the first chapter, with good description giving the reader a visual. I particularly like:
There is a plant way up there called fireweed, that has a flower that is long, and green when it first grows, but as the weather gets warmer, its petals start turning red, from the bottom up. When it’s the middle of summer the whole flower is red. It can turn large part of the countryside red, so it almost looks like fire. Fireweed really goes into overdrive, after a forest fire, and is the first plant to come back after a fire. As winter approaches, the flower withers from the bottom up. Usually by the time of the first snowfall, the red is all gone. That’s one way the animals and people can tell what time of year it is.

Beautifully done, in my opinion.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*
In my opinion, the first chapter flows well with a few errors that the author overlooked with re: spelling that can be easily corrected.
For example:
Chapter 1 sets the scene, inroduces the area, andthe little girl, Willy, and her parents.

I would recommend the author change the word <introduces> and insert the 't'.

Spacing between the commas in certain sentences. An obvious oversight in typing. Otherwise, a brilliant job so far.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ This reader looks forward to reading more of this children's novel from this author. It promises to be delightful and is easy to follow for both young and old.
Thank you for allowing me to view and review this piece you have created.


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Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful!!! In such short words, you have captured what so many in this world ponder and can never find the answer. Yes...you are still evolving! Just like a flower whose stages bring it to it's final moments to be born again...it's beauty is witnessed in these stages...through growth. May you always keep the wonderment of life there within you. Thank you for sharing what you have. *Heart*
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Review of My Queen  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ohhhh please let me baby sit him!!! What a beautiful face with those innocent eyes....he doesn't look like he would eat shoes, furniture or any other precious thing you might have in his way! LOL Thank you for sharing him with us. SummerLyn
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Review of Scream!  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ The Title threw me off, I have to share that with you. For some reason, I thought it was pertaining to Halloween...guessing because of your changed name of Boo

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Here lies, almost a prophecy if you will. The words placed carefully disguising what I see as a 'truth'...a reality that many wish not to face or turn a blind-eye to.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*None evident...very well written and thought out.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ The Author here is definitely a talented writer. Beautifully written. Thank you for allowing me to read this that you place before the world, and give it a proper review. Wishing you peace in your moments given~ SummerLyn

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Review of Key West  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful image of Key West! I love it...Did you take this?
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Rated: E | (5.0)
HAHAHA!!1 This one doesn't look undernourished let me tell youuuu...more like spoiled..very, very cute! Thank you so very much for sharing what you have. SummerLyn
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Looking at the title...noticing, although I have written privately to warn the author..spelling is wrong on it if he is relaying the word, Buffalo Being a Lakota...I automatically feel less interested...but will read on.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Author relays with good description. It is very touching and thought provoking.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*Again, the title is important and if any Lakota, other than myself who knows the language fluently would be wondering what you are attempting to spell. If you do not know...check a Lakota Dictionary or someone who knows that may be Lakota.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ Very well thought out and relayed well. Enjoyable and thought provoking for the viewer. Wishing you peace in your moments~SummerLyn

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Review of World Peace  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Very thought provoking and most certainly, "food for thought".

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ What the author relays is the desire for this reader to say the least...
Can't we share all of our worldly possessions
Including our lands and all of God's blessings

Let's join together in peace across our universe


As a thought...religion can be a good thing, as it can bring you together and bring you to an intimate relationship with that One, or it can be bad, in that it can drive people apart and cause them to fight amongst each other. As another thought...Jesus really didn't form Christianity...it came after him...I don't remember him ever claiming any religion and thought, in fact, that he destroyed the temple because of their ways.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I would suggest the author watch his punctuation/or lack of:

Will world peace always remain an illusive goal
Among Muslims, Christians and, Jews we know
Will the confussions of beliefs among our faiths
Always generate malice and with it much hate


Our peaceful God's don't endorse our conflicts
That destroys others lives by causing deaths


Should the following read this way? or would it be better without the 's after 'God'...just my thought here and suggestion.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ Again, very thought provoking and most certainly 'food for thought'. I feel that whoever reads this, should really stop and think.
Thank you for allowing me to view this and give it my review. I am wishing you peace in your heart~ SummerLyn
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Review of "Crossing Over"  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ A loving and touching tribute

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ The author gives a very descriptive view into the life and love of a brother he knew. Very touching in my opinion.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I felt it was such a loving poem. Deep feelings shared throughout.
I felt the flow or rhythmn was off a bit..an example can be found in the following:
You served as a Soldier in Vietnam's war,
Where your lungs contacted Agent Orange,
Now you suffer from terminal lung cancer,
How long will you live only God can answer.


My suggestion would be to read it out loud to yourself and see how you can best reword it to bring it back to a better flow.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ I feel the author did a very good job here in relaying his feelings, and giving such a loving tribute to honor the life and relationship between he and his brother.

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Review of Baby Picture  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Laugh* I just love the face here...tell me this one doesn't have a personality...it seems like your baby can't be bothered...If cat's could talk..what would this one say...Not againnn...ok...let's get this over with! HA! I love this image shared. So beautiful a cat you have here. Thank you for sharing this. SummerLyn
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Review of The Radio  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Impressive! It is very descriptive and leaves the reader with a clear image of the characters, as well as the place and time.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Wow!!! Talk about fate and destiny...
Could their relationship survive until he reached his discharge date? Was it even fair of him to ask her or expect her to wait for him? The doubts and questions tortured him almost as much as the pain his heart was feeling knowing, as the truck rolled down the city street towards the bus terminal, that he was leaving the love of his life and didn’t know when he’d see her again. On the radio, Tammy Wynette was hitting her stride singing “I Don’t Want to Play House”:

I don’t want to play house
It makes my Mommy cry
‘Cause when she played house,
My Daddy said “Goodbye”

Mary Ann pulled the truck into the parking lot of the Trailways station. They didn’t have much time left; Mike’s bus would board in ten minutes. Mike leaned over, held Mary Ann’s face in both hands, and kissed her tenderly and longingly. Mary Ann returned his kiss, and they sat there in each other’s arms for a moment.

Mike was the first to notice it. The Ford’s radio had been tuned to Tacoma’s country station. But suddenly, inexplicably, while the couple were kissing goodbye, the sound of Robert Goulet’s voice came out of the speaker.

If ever I would leave you,
How could it be in spring-time?
Knowing how in spring I'm bewitched by you so?
Oh, no! not in spring-time
Summer, winter or fall
No, never could I leave you at all

They pulled away from each other and shared a puzzled look. Mike glanced at the radio; the red needle showing the frequency the radio was tuned to was way over to the right side of the dial.


*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I am a person and writer, who can never seem to place my commas in the right place all the time. So, I raise the question here in the following sentence, if the comma should be there or not...(after grew.)

And so their relationship grew, closer and deeper.

In my mind, I would think that it would be written:
"And so their relationship grew closer and deeper."

Again, I am not the expert. Just my thought.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ A great story from start to finish...it held my attention and that can be hard to do. I thoroughly enjoyed this story and I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to view it and give it my review. SummerLyn

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Review of Moose  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
And what a Moose he is!!! So cute!!!! thank you for sharing this image...I love this. SummerLyn
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Review of Folgers Falls  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ My first thought upon reading this...'been there...done that.' Something we can all relate to at one time or another; therefore, leaving the reader to relate to this easily.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ I love your descriptiveness...ex: As if a spell had been cast, the packet burst open, sending a spray of finely-ground coffee into the air. Mortified, I stared down at one cuff of my white dress shirt, dusted with a dark film of the mountain-grown stuff. Here is a perfect example of great description, which runs throughout the story...reading this, I could almost smell the coffee upon opening it as you describe here. Great job!

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*None evident. It seems the punctuation is in order as well as spelling.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ Enjoyable!!! Excellent job as always. The author never lets the reader down, as seen in reading his other stories shared. Thank you for allowing me to review this. SummerLyn

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In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Good title for this particular poem.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Much deep feeling went into this, obviously one of hurt and pain.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*If I may suggest that you space your paragraphs closer.
You may also watch your spelling. Ex: you pull the trigger and your dead soon. The your in here before dead is spelled "you're".

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ This poem runs deep. I feel that with practice, this author will be an excellent poet. This poem was dark, but enjoyable. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it a proper review. SummerLyn

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Review of Moving On  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ You have the reader wondering in the beginning, and actually throughout this story of this man actually being dead or if the marriage had just gone down the tubes that she just didn't care anymore.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ It flowed pretty well with the story line. The reader never really knows who the narrator is or the woman he is talking about, but I don't think it mattered with this one.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*This could have made a "5" in my view, but you have to watch comma placement or your lack of. Ex:
When she finished she looked down at her hand and at the ring I had bought her all those years ago. She toyed with it before slowly taking it off and placing it carefully in the jewellery box. Looking back into the mirror she sighed, “It’s not really cheating though, is it?”

Some may look at this paragraph and feel there is also a spelling error, but I realize this is a "British" spelling of it and will not deduct for spelling on this.


*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~Excellent story told by this author. The author clearly holds talent that can only get better with more writing. I look forward to reading more from this author. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it a proper review. SummerLyn

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Review of God  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Thought provoking

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~The author lays out very well all that is of the hand of "God", thus naming this as such. Obviously uncertain, but witnessing the handiwork of "God".

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I believe I would have spaced the paragraphs.
If I had written it, I believe I would have reworded a few sentences here. One example is as follows:
I have seen the stars that wander in the sky and they had made me quiver with their shine and greatness.
Just thoughts/suggestions here: Could it have read better if the author had worded it something like:
"I have seen the stars sparkling like gems in the dark sky, and I found myself in awe of their beauty and vastness(other words can be used as well to describe such greatness)."

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ I believe there is evidence here of the authors talent. I personally enjoyed reading this and giving it my review and thoughts. SummerLyn

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Review of My Son  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ A beautiful tribute from a mother to her son.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Filled with love and adoration. I truly related to this particular poem because I feel this way about my own son, and I beleive any reader who has a child would. Where does the time go?
Twenty-six and on his own
This blond-haired boy I see
All grown up, but yet, a little boy still to me

A beautiful start to this poem.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I found that the rhythmn was a bit off, perhaps with a rechoosing of words. The following line in particular threw me off...
That lives in a world that is his alone
I feel if the author reads this poem a loud she will perhaps hear where it is missing and reword a few lines.
I would also suggest to the author too many uses of the same word...ex: "Who"

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ A very touching poem and it clearly shows the author of this poem's talent. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it my review. SummerLyn

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Review of Simple Man  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Love the title. It reminds me of that song by Lynard Skynerd

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ A lone man walking through life and leaving 'footprints' that so many will never forget. I like what you place here.
Time will turn our hearts to stone once you have gone away
But leave you must for we need learn life’s lessons taught today


*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I feel that the first stanz was a bit off...
Simple man you walk alone among the convoluted day
All will smile upon you and your simple easy way
Years may pass before your eyes and slowly drift away
But never do you feel the sadness empty you like they


I personally would have changed the last word here..."they", but this is just my thought.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ I absolutely love the poem. I just felt it was a bit off as I made mention, but otherwise, the author did a wonderful job here with this particular poem. I look forward to reading more from this poet. Thank you for allowing me to view this and give it my review. SummerLyn


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Review of The Waiting Game  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ A poem that a reader can easily relate to.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ "Love at first sight" comes to mind here. A chance meeting with perhaps the hope of meeting again. I had this happen to me before, whereby I was at the Fort Lauderdale airport and this man and I made eye contact. I know each of us knew we wanted to get off that escalator and say something to each other, but neither of us did, only the memory is left with each of us.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I didn't see any visible errors. I see the rating given has been a "4" average, but I don't see why. I feel it read quite well.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ A lovely poem, sensitive to the heart. I feel the author relayed it quite well. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it a proper review. SummerLyn

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Review of I'm With You  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~Heartfelt and loving.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~This obviously hits its mark with the words relayed from the heart.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I felt the rhythm was a bit off. Perhaps if the author of this poem reads it a loud and if after so doing, still feels it is good, then keep it. I just felt something was missing and it was a little off.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ Beautifully done. Carry on with your writing. It works. SummerLyn



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In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Philosophical and thought provoking.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ I like the wording here...
The flowers that are no longer sleeping but instead stretching to their fullest to overhear the bits of conversations and secrets shared amongst the trees and the wind. The flowers can try to catch a secret or two, but the trees will never tell. Only to the lost wondering souls who happen to cross paths with them, sitting in their shadows. They would share the secrets to being strong, to staying strong. To hold your head up high, so high you can overlook all of those great sharp jagged mountains we call life and to not be conquered but to have come out of it’s war as the conqueror.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*A few errors appear to me. One example is as follows: passer byres Byers is the word, I believe you were looking for here and not byres as this is a cow shed. I would also suggest to the author that they might watch their comma placement or lack of. Ex: This Amelia would end up learning. should read, This, Amelia would end up learning.
Also, I would reword a few lines for a smoother flow, but this is entirely up to the author.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ I enjoyed the story for the lesson and 'food for thought' that was within it. I felt it could have been expanded on and with expansion and a few changes such as recommended above, it would be a tremendous story relayed. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it my review. SummerLyn

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In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~This story is so descriptive, that you almost feel as if you are there.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Beautifully relaying of a story with such a message everyone needs to be reminded of.
He went on to talk about that light he saw on the road to Damascus and how it changed him. He described how stubborn he had been. "I hated these people and hated what they stood for. I went from prison to prison dragging people and even killing a few along the way. God began to deal with me. I started having nightmares and hearing voices in my sleep. I could see faces of people I hurt and tormented. God was dealing with me but I just was too stubborn to listen. You see I suffered from this medical condition known as Cranium Titanium or otherwise known as being a hard head. All along I thought I was right in what I was doing but in reality I was all wrong." There was a long pause and then he said "Well, now I'm the Prisoner. It just don't matter who you are and how strong you may think you may be. There comes a time when God says, enough is enough. If God shines that light on you like he did me well lets just say your wild bull riding days is over."

Oh that was a service to remember. “I’m a Prisoner of the Lord Jesus Christ”. From prison to prison he went preaching the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. His life was no longer driven by deep rooted stubbornness which inflected great pain and fear on the righteous. He was now driven by the peace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. What a magnificent transformation to a life of great jubilation. For God made Paul a living example of a geological metamorphic alteration of the heart of man. His life was forever changed by the light of the Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Cor 4:6 “For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”


*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I noticed that this particular story told, has only received a "4" star rating, and have no understanding of why. I saw no gramma erros, nor comma's, but only a beautifully told story shared by this author.
*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~I remember reading another story(s) of this author, In My Father's House and enjoyed that immensely, only to return again to this authors port and find yet another beautiful story written by this author. Great job as usual. Thank you for placing this out for my viewing. I felt to give it a proper review. SummerLyn


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Review of I Notice  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Such a beautiful tribute to your wife.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~This is something that many women would love to hear from their loved one, but all too often it goes unsaid. Why? I don't know, perhaps it is called, "life".

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*None evident. Beautifully worded

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ Excellent piece you have created here! I'd say this poet ranks high as an 'accomplished' poet. I look forward to reading more in his port. Thank you for allowing me to sit in and read what you have placed as a 'gift' to your wife. I have given it my review. SummerLyn

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Review of Forgetting  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~Some things we like to forget! A relationship, gone wrong is one of them!

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Very well relayed of how the author's memories of the person she once loved is slowly fading.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*If I may suggest that you read this a loud and see where you can change it so that the rhythm will be better.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~Poetry isn't always easy to do because there are so many ways to write a poem. I felt the poet gave a very good attempt and with more practice can do even better in the future. I look forward to reading more in the future from this author. Thank you for allowing me to read it and give it my review. SummerLyn

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Review of I am the girl  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Interesting thought on how we view ourselves. Some people never take the time.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ A bit of irony here as the author relays how she views herself, but in the end the author finds that she really doesn't know herself. Perhaps not all, which is good because we, as humans are forever changing and growing.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I wasn't sure if this was a poem, although it seemed to be written in that form. I would suggest the author specify.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~From the reading of this, it seems to me that the author is young as she refers to herself as a 'girl'. This shows good writing skills that can only get better with practice. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it a proper review. Summerlyn

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