You do sound professional, and one who is indeed an expert in the field, so I gave you a five for your perfect command of grammar and structure.
Moreover, I gave you a rating of 5 for the invaluable insights you shared about reviewing another's work. I'm an ESL/FL teacher, so I know perfectly how important honest feedback are for students.
I like this poem mainly for the rhyme and rhythm...it sounds so lyrical save for the message of terror. Still, I think it is a great poem especially if after some more edting, you could add a conjunction in the 2nd stanza 2nd line -- just to improve on the rhythmic beat. Then perhaps in the 3rd stanza, the conjunction 'but' would be better replaced with 'yet'--- :). Finally, this can be made into a more haunting lyrical --by changing some of the longer words, but still keeping the desired effect and message. I love the final stanza! Thanks so much.
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