You do sound professional, and one who is indeed an expert in the field, so I gave you a five for your perfect command of grammar and structure.
Moreover, I gave you a rating of 5 for the invaluable insights you shared about reviewing another's work. I'm an ESL/FL teacher, so I know perfectly how important honest feedback are for students.
I like this poem mainly for the rhyme and rhythm...it sounds so lyrical save for the message of terror. Still, I think it is a great poem especially if after some more edting, you could add a conjunction in the 2nd stanza 2nd line -- just to improve on the rhythmic beat. Then perhaps in the 3rd stanza, the conjunction 'but' would be better replaced with 'yet'--- :). Finally, this can be made into a more haunting lyrical --by changing some of the longer words, but still keeping the desired effect and message. I love the final stanza! Thanks so much.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/summerblossom
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 9:41am on Nov 23, 2024 via server WEBX2.