What a tragic poem. Great imagery, with the buzzing of summer bees, lips cracked and dry, Silent footsteps in the snow, just imagining what it's like to walk on snow barefoot, has me shuddering. The mood is very somber, and by the end of your poem, there is heavy sadness, and a prayer for hope.
Funky little story. William's love for the canoe got him stuck in a strange place. There is the dock hand is another level, he is untouched by any situation. Poor William.
These two sentences could use a tweak:
he was about the crest the wave - (He was about to crest the wave)
William awoke with a start - I thought (William woke with a start) would sound better.
Otherwise, interesting short story.
I feel that this article came to me at an opportune moment. Every time I walk into meetings, be they short or long, there is this awkward moment right before the meetings start. People in the room on their phones, not looking up to talk to the person sitting next to them, or even attempt to get to know each other. If you don't make an attempt to strike up conversation, they might leave the meeting without knowing each other. It's frightening.
I love that you discovered the story behind JD. So many of us miss out on these great stories because we don't ever try. Great article.
Nostalgia was the first word that came to mind after reading this poem. So many memories, packed into so few words, it made me think of the past, and the wonderful memories that I have too.
I love the part at the end where the family is also arriving at the door, to visit you, as you did your Granny. I hope they bring roses from the garden as well.
There is such an honest flow to this poem. So very strong, wonderfully brave and inspiring. I love the end, "...this world tries to make us submit, but, my dear, we don't listen to it."
Yes, keep being true to the heart.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/suilan
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 4:21pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.