I love the imagery involved here but I won't deny that your description leaves me hungering for more. "Does she exist if no one is watching." I would love to see that question played with in your poem, especially with your images of mirage and fog. I think you have more you can say here. Please let me know if you explore it further so I can read it.
I love your description of "ribbons of steel". That was really powerful imagery. You also have a wonderful rhythm going. I would, however, love to see more of your imagery. Its powerful and I find that imagery brings home more deep emotion than a rhyming scheme.
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