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Review by steveu Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Well done story! I liked the format of switching between characters. It's always entertaining to read a story with multiple flawed characters. I read on, wanting to see what would happen with each character. (Just a writer's curiosity, did you consider writing the various character viewpoints in first person?)

The female characters were a bit cliche for this genre, in my opinion. Being a husband with four daughters, I'm always rooting for a female character to best the asshole male (especially when he's a chauvinistic serial killer). Sadly, life (and fiction) doesn't always work that way. I would've also liked more physical descriptions of Phil. He was the hardest character for me to visualize. But, that may have been your intent. Your story is well written, regardless. The last line is sufficiently creepy, and the reader is still concerned for Maggie and even for Phil (which is no easy task).

Again, I think your story is entertaining. I enjoyed reading it (even with the unpleasant ending for Nell, Phil, and possibly Maggie).

Write on!
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