Absolutely excellent. Nothing less than I would expect from this Writer (Author?????).
First lines are so important and "I was seven when the evil first came to me" has got to rank among the best there is. You just have to read on. And it is written in first person, which is not that easy to maintain. Very brave, but very effective in this chapter.
That brings me to the only reason I would not give this a 10 (which is not possible anyway). Not many people read Prologues, myself included. They are stupid, because it is a part of the story, but it gets confused with Preface and they are usually boring.
Anyway, I loved it, but it should be chapter one. I love the speaker, don't what is going on really, but want to. Next chapter.
This is lovely. I enjoyed it and I can bet other readers will have been thinking of the Hal in their lives. I was well written, the timing good and it flowed. I think I guessed the punchline phrase about one sentence before, but it did not matter, because I had fallen in love with the character by then.
Lovely! I do not know what else to say. The words are lovely, the idea being used of trying to explain who someone is with another type of art, is such a lovely idea. I notice the Author has other poems in their portfolio, so I must give these a read.
Very, very good. I did not know what to do with the prompt. The words Diamond, Escape and Trust just kept pointing me to a betrayed diamond thief on the run. I could not think of anything else. Well done. Your story is funny, imaginative, wonderfully written. You deserve to win.
As an Author stroke Illustrator of self published children's books, I would love to have a connection with an illustrator. It takes ten times longer for me to make a drawing than three pages of word. And I do not like drawing that much. BUT, can you show something of your work and varying styles, please.
My mother tongue is English but I do speak two others and know something of many more. This poem is specific in that the Author is talking of Afrikaans, but it perfectly expresses the beauty and joy found in speaking any language. They are all fun and beautiful and different. This is a delightful work, Helene.
These are the best stories. It may be fiction, but reading it you know there is some truth in it. There is too much detail about the birds and the sport for it not to be. I spent my childhood in the Midlands and lived two years next to a nutter who raced pigeons and then dogs, so I know something about this sport, but this story brings it to life and the children's lack of understanding that there would be no consequence to what they did is what makes it so charming.
This is quite exciting. I hope there is more. I am assuming the guy did not die in the fire fight. I love it though. the closest I have come to something like this is paintball. You may laugh, but if you have done paintball and then think about real combat, you understand the emotion in this passage very quickly. I would love to read more of the story.
The author has nailed the dichotomy of bipolar on the head. Any bipolar challenged person would be able to identify with the madness of living the two extremes described here at the same time. It is just like this. I loved the poem, obviously and will add it to my favourites.
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