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Review Requests: ON
2,362 Public Reviews Given
2,417 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Minimalist. Focus on technical. I also look at how a work would fit into the traditional publishing landscape. I don't use a template. Warning: I am Australian, and so cultural differences may apply.
Favorite Genres
Most, really.
Least Favorite Genres
Fan-fiction
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and essays.
I will not review...
I will not review porn, fan-fiction or pro-religious/OTT-pro-USA essays. No interactives either, please.
Public Reviews
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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A poem of hope, of coming out of something - the "storm" - with wisdom. It might be wisdom born of pain, but it has been learnt and earned.

I read poetry out loud, and this wanted to be read slowly, but some of the longer lines felt rushed. Personally, I'd cut some of them by a couple of syllables, but I do get the personal nature of the work.

Still, strong piece, and good luck going forward.


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Review of Thanksgiving 2025  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is so sweet. Yes, sweet. I am not going to pry for details, but for him to reach out to you is great. And if the day had something to do with it, then all the better.

This is something I always considered poetry to be - an emotion put onto paper, getting it out while it is raw and fresh. And I can feel that rawness. As such, I am not going to nitpick technicals, but say this is where poetry works where other writing forms may not.

Thanks for sharing this with all of us.


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3
3
Review of Disney Dilemma  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A simple tale with a good message - sometimes we need to live for the moment, not the schedule. It is something too many forget, and it bleeds, as in this tale, from occupation to personal life. But having him see the reason for doing something being his daughter's smile, that was perfect.

Technically, it was very clean, and as a story, it fit in well within the flash fiction format with the right amount of tell v show. In fact, i don't think this would have worked as well as a longer piece.

Great job, and good luck going forward.


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4
Review of Autocorrect  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

Now, first, I started to read this and almost gave up. The opening did not grab me. But then when Edward came into the story, I couldn't stop reading. Unlike many stories about this sort of thing, your means of "defeating" the AI made sense. The nonsense of reality really worked and I can see that either sending an AI loopy (so to speak), or completely off the deep end (like those teddy bears telling kids where to finds knives).

As a story, it was well done, and the use of Samantha worked well to give a more grounded reality - this was not just Nathan, this was everyone. But the opening needs to be a little more "oomph", to me.

Technically, there were a number of small errors, but nothing a good edit won't fix. It just needs a clean set of eyes, I think.

So, a really strong story. Nice job, and good luck going forward.


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5
5
for entry "The Animal Inside" Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Saw this in The Bradbury.

Although I knew what was coming, even without the prompt, you have done well keeping the truth hidden from those who might not be aware of tropes and the prompt, until the very end. Lots of hints, making this more a psychological horror than a true monster tale, and you do not use the gore often used in a story of this nature (as I did).

Technically, very clean.

Story-wise, okay, with some decent hints peppered throughout. But the lack of people in the prayer circle felt a little convenient. Having Daniel there early as usual would have served the same purpose; for a group as devout as this, surely the prayer circle would be their comfort?

Good tale, and good luck going forward.


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Review of Dreamers  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

Short sharp and shiny, does not overstay its welcome, and yet tells a profound truth that too many people try to deny even as their own dreams are crushed by reality.

This is a really good little poem (poemette?). Like it a lot. Good luck going forward.


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Review of Gimme Shelter  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

I've read a few of your tales now, and you are becoming quite adept at the flash fiction format. This one had that nice twist at the end, and was a fine tale looking at an issue I have been led to believe is everywhere in the USA without it being explicit, so it did not preach.

Technically, it was clean, although I would suggest the exclamation mark at the end is not really necessary. I still wonder why you have extra carriage returns at random between paragraphs. It is in all the works of yours I have read.

So, a really good little tale. Good luck going forward.


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Review of book  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You asked for someone to give you an honest assessment.

Okay, for a young adult book, maybe middle grade, the start is fine. We have a setting implied, not spelled out, in school, there are no huge info-dumps, and you are letting us see character through the use of dialogue. All of this works well for that age group.

We are clearly setting up for a meeting between two people attracted to one another, so there is no hiding the genre either. Also very good.

Now, story-wise, the opening chapter was filled with conflict between Melanie, Alek and Roscoe. I found it hard to see that they were friends, though they must have been. Melanie came across as rather unpleasant, and a younger reader is going to need a bit to think highly of her as a main character.

Eduardo, on the other hand, came across as a bland kid. While that is perfectly fine, there was just nothing about him to grab hold of. He was not dislikable, and he seemed perfectly normal, but why should we root for him?

So, these two chapters introduce the characters well enough, and so set up a teenaged romance story.

Now, technically, there are a lot of errors in direct speech punctuation. So many. You need to look at how to punctuate direct speech, and do not trust Grammarly, as it does not know direct speech at all. I can send you to a brief guide if you want here at WdC. Also, you use a lot of hyphens when em-dashes are preferred, which makes parenthetical phrases become extended words.

Format-wise, the opening word and punctuation of each chapter is lost in a mess of trying to look fancy. If you are ever going to submit this, then that is totally unnecessary.

So I hope that is what you're after. Good luck going forward.
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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A sweet story that I am sure many people can relate to. Waiting for that partner to get ready, growing impatient, and then seeing them and thinking the wait was simply worth it.

This was done well within the restrictions of the flash fiction format, and, honestly, I don't think it would have been as impactful if it had been longer. Being short meant it was there, and it felt more like a slice of life.

Technically, missing quotation marks at the end of the second-to-last paragraph. Yeah, picky, but it was all I saw!

Well done, and good luck going forward.


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Review of Hourglass  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, I thought I'd give this a go after you mentioned it.

The hourglass shape was not just a shape for the poem, but the them of the poem as well, which worked a lot better than some shape poems I have read. The changing line length as the sands run down, and then build up with a constant rhyme scheme works well.

I read poetry our loud, and that shifting line length makes the reader speed up as we get to the middle, then slow as we reach the end - it works well.

Good work and nicely done.


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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

I like it when I see a new poetry form, and the Clerihew actually looks like one I could do! Thanks for including the explanation in the post, and easy to understand.

Fun little poem that follows all the dictates of the form, and which, now a few years later, still holds as true as it did back then,

Not much more to say - just a good poem that holds well to the form. Good luck going forward.


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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A bit of a subversion on the destroying neighbouring ornaments trope. Pumping them up, and then her partner deciding to help her so it won't be such a chore is almost a sweet tale of romance. Something different, for sure.

Story-wise, I think more should have been made of the accusation at the start, because that is forgotten; I am guessing she was being accused of letting the ornaments down, instead of pumping them up. The fact that opening was just ignored makes it feel like it was tacked on to fit in the prompt.

Format-wise, why the extra lines between random paragraphs? It makes it look like they are scene breaks, when it's just an extra carriage return. It actually affects the way a reader approaches the story.

Still, fine story. Good luck going forward.


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Review of Candle  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

An interesting use of the shape poem, ustilising a rhyming poem format in prose to fill in the shape of the candle with its melted wax base. Told from the PoV of the candle, it is a pleasant little poem, almost the antithesis of some classics of the 1960s that went very negative.

I read poetry out loud, and this was fine. A few lines were a little long, syllable-wise, but it worked in general.

A very interesting way of telling this tale and one that I think worked well. Good luck going forward.


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14
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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read A Newbie.'

A powerful wake up call. No power, no money for bills was hinted without being made explicit, and the realisation adults do not have all the answers. It comes to everyone eventually, but, as you say, we muddle on.

Technically, this was nice and clean. Format-wise, I'd separate the paragraphs a little better, and I don't get why the opening para was centred.

So presentation more than content things. Still, good story, and good luck going forward.


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Review of The Park Cleaner  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi.

You asked for feedback.

It is an interesting story, for sure. You have built it up well to an end where he got his old friend back and maybe helps him out.

This does need a good edit. There were a few little things throughout that just need looking at, commas, turns of phrase, the way things run together. It does read like a second draft. Sorry.

Story-wise, it was going well until Bruiser gave him a pass. There should have been more stakes and tension there. While I can see Clyde keeping his job, I can also see him keeping some of the money, not only to pay off debts and bills, but to do anonymous hand-outs. It felt like he gave it all away, and that did not work for the character.

This sounds negative, and I'm sorry. It is a strong story and, as usual, you have put forth a compelling narrative. I think it could just use some tightening up.

Good luck going forward.


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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a pleasant vignette about taking that photograph and then relating it to life in general, and doing so without if feeling forced. The peeling paint of ourselves often hides a life well-lived and as bright as the house once was.

I use a Canon DSLR, and have done for over 15 years, same one. When we find a camera that works for us, it is so hard to let go!

I really liked this and the voice it brought forth. This is the sort of anecdote that could find a home in Chicken Soup Of The Soul or similar.

Good luck going forward.


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Review of Finding Keith  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A trope of clairvoyance, but made unique by the ending, and the understanding of the woman that closure only means looking stops, but grief goes on. It was well done without becoming overly sentimental or mawkish.

The only thing that felt odd was calling the initial woman "her daughter" without having a "her" to refer to, then w reference to "her mother" which makes it seem like there is another generation inbetween.

Still, this is a strong work. Good luck going forward.


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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

And a groan-worthy piece of punning word play it is. I wondered where it was going, but then with whole fibre Dyet stuff, it clicked,. and I re-read it with that tongue firmly in metaphorical cheek.

It even reads like a newspaper report, which is a nice touch. Not just a bunch of puns, but in a format that makes sense to the story.

Nice job. Good luck goinf forward.


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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This came up on 'Read A Newbie.'

This is a sad poem about things that have gone missing, and the narrator's heart is one of those things. No explanation needs to be given as to why, but the comparison to all the other objects makes it feel so neglected and almost broken.

Now, I read poetry out loud, and this one has a decent rhyme to it, but some of the lines feel a little long compared to the syllable count of the rest, which makes it awkward to get into a rhythm.

Still, a decent emotional poem. Good luck going forward.


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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read A Newbie.'

This is an interesting descriptive piece, looking at a hallway through a certain time and place. The words paint a vivid picture.

There is one thing I would say - this is not a short story. It is prose, yes, maybe a vignette, but a story has a beginning, middle and end. I would more call this a prose poem, emotion in words. As a prose poem, this works.

That might seem pedantic, but if you take your writing further, those little definitions can be quite important. Good luck going forward.


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Review of Apparently James  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A sweet little tale of a lifelong friendship started, all because of an emergency grandma daycare session. The narrator came across as happy, maybe tired, but clearly adoring of her grandson; the grandson was a typical... I'm going to say 4 year old judging by my own kids. Even in flash, good characterisation. I liked that it focused on the people, not the cat as well.

Technically:
"a couple cartoons" -> missing an "of" or maybe change "a couple" to "some"
"We brought him home, her, he was a she." -> commas don't work, not really. I'd use em-deashes, ellipses, a semi-colon, something else. But that is very pedantic.

All up, a nice little tale. Good luck going forward.


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Review of Hide and Seek  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This came up on 'Read A Newbie.'

Fun story, giving the impression of a horror story and a missing person, but becoming a children's game.

As a piece of flash fiction, it works very well. I do think the title gives away the ending, but apart from that, fine.

The biggest issue is that the verb tense changes throughout the story. Pick one and stick to it, past or present. Otherwise, it does not read well.

Still, fun story. Good luck going forward.


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Review of The Last Goodbye  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

This is a familiar trope; I have even sold a story based on this very concept. Having said that, I did not actually see the ending coming, so you did very well in keeping this shrouded, which is not easy. Nice description of the ending of Daniel, and Ethan's response. I think that really made the story work.

No suggestions for improvement; as a piece of flash is works very well. Good luck going forward.


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Review of Rooftop Whispers  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

This is such a pleasant poem, a story about greenery rising out of the urban blankness that cities too often become.

I read poetry out loud and the rhymes and constant syllable count made this a very easy poem to recite.

A couple of words felt they didn't quite fit in meaning, just in rhyme (e.g. plight), but most of the poem was well done. Good luck going forward.


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Review of Different Paths  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

I know this is an older piece, but it struck me as one of those little vignettes of life that rings very true. A chance meeting, a memory re-surfacing, an open ending. Will the narrator seek Doug out? Will it be just a single chance meeting? So much left unsaid, which is great for a reader.

Technically, I think "suck force" should be "such force." Otherwise nice and clean.

Good, strong piece of flash fiction. Good luck going forward.


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