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Review Requests: ON
1,688 Public Reviews Given
1,737 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Minimalist. Focus on technical. I also look at how a work would fit into the traditional publishing landscape. I don't use a template. Warning: I am Australian, and so cultural differences may apply.
Favorite Genres
Most, really.
Least Favorite Genres
Fan-fiction
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and essays.
I will not review...
I will not review porn, fan-fiction or pro-religious/OTT-pro-USA essays. No interactives either, please.
Public Reviews
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1
Review of Business As Usual  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review' so here I am.

This is a poetic form I was unfamiliar with, and I think you've done it well (thanks for supplying the link! really appreciated!) from what I can tell.

Content-wise, this seems unfortunately timeless. You wrote it in 2022, but we could go back to the 1960s and forward to today and the words would speak as true as they do here.

As such, this is slightly depressing, but it all makes sense and speaks of an unfortunate truth.

Good job.


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2
2
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Fun story! You got a laugh out of me with this one, with the "petrified cats" comment. Nice call back to "only if you miss" earlier! Gogmagogg (interesting choice of Cornish Giant name!) came across as very sure of himself, like we might with mosquitoes.

For flash fiction, just the right amount of tell v show.

One technical thing: "Careful!" Cautioned --> "Careful!" cautioned
Apart from that, very clean.

Nice job; we always can do with a nice smile. Good luck going forward.


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3
3
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This was an odd story, almost a monologue, and in the end I think I got the hang of it. The voice of the narrator is consistent throughout, and the tone of stupefaction is there. It jumps around a bit, bit considering what happened, that's also understandable. Being a monologue, the show/tell thing also does not matter.

I did like the way the rock being there was not explained, but how did they know it was a meteorite? They must have taken it out to study it to work that out, so how did she still have bangs? Wouldn't they have shaved her head? Sorry, but these things did come to me as being a little too odd to just "know."

However, it was definitely a fun tale, with a good open ending. Good luck going forward.


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4
4
Review of Imperfect World  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review' so here I am.

I read this through and thought to myself that you were concerned about today...

No. This piece is 22 years old, and the same concerns are clearly still there in the USA and the world. I'll bet you didn't realise you were writing something timeless not long after the start of the millennium.

I really liked the way you punctuated your concerns with a haiku. It made it feel different, not just a rail against the sky, but something well thought-through and put down. Your concerns were valid and are valid, but making it poetry also feels like it is personal.

This is a strong piece of writing. Well done and good luck going forward.


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5
5
Review of Chains Of Life  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This came up on Read & review as well! So here I am again. I realise this is an older piece, but it does feel somewhat timeless.

Dark poem, with some deeper themes that are implied and yet no less stark for that. Some of the imagery stands out especially well, and the whole stanza: "You fight...all in vain" really felt like the crux of the poem.

I admit I didn't get the "Royals" allusion, but that is undoubtedly on me.

I read poetry out loud to get a feel for it, and this was so easy to speak, and even to make foreboding. You have done a solid job with the form.

While dark and a little depressing, this is still a really well written poem. Thank you for sharing.


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6
6
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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The two-timing scumbag story, with an ending that feels cathartic for the reader. A staple of the romance (anti-romance?) genre. We have the build of anticipation, then the let-down of realisation and the denouement of rejection, all in a tight piece of flash fiction.

Technically, two little things:
"Posy." he squawked. --> "Posy," he squawked.
"door jam" --> "door jamb"
Well done.

However, the opening reads oddly. It felt like she just received the flowers, then we have an all-day situation. I know that it is in a flash fiction tight format, but:
To my dearest love. Meet me up on the rooftop after nine. I have a surprise planned just for us.
         All day this memory of the words on the note, accompanied with the memory of the roses leaning against the door jamb had her smiling. She just wanted to inhale the soft floral scents again and again.
sets the timing a little more smoothly maybe?

Anyway, still a well-written story. The dialogue was a real strength here; it sounds natural.

Good work and well done going forward.


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Review of Inner Demons  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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This is a poem that I could relate to, hiding those inner demons away while putting on a facade of all being well.

The structure of the poem as a sort of free-form with vague rhymes worked. And the content was really strong.

Now, I read poetry out loud, and this one, with the lines getting gradually longer in each stanza as the poem went on, gained a feeling of desperation. However, that did mean that the stanza "I raise a glass..." felt a little out of place, as it sort of calmed down before then hitting the longer ones again.

Anyway, I guess that's me as a performer speaking.

Still, a strong poem. Good luck going forward.


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8
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This came up as a random read...

I have never reviewed trinkets before (I already have them, so no grabbing here), and I had a careful look at them. This is a great and varied collection. Not too many so as to be overwhelming, but a decent amount to make for some interesting reading.

My favourite is the squeamish one, for what it's worth.

Looking at these in a bit more detail shows me the effort you have clearly put into them.

Really well done, and on behalf of other WdCers - thank you.


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9
9
Review of Autumn Leaves  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This came up on read and review, so here I am.

An interesting little tale, with the sort of open ending that intrigues me as a reader. I found some of the minutiae of her day to be distracting, but I get you were trying to paint a picture of normality and her life before the discovery.

So... three things.

1) The verb tense jumps back and forth between past and present. pick one and stick to it.

2) There are extraneous details. Her clothing means nothing; why include it? None of it matters to the story, even painting that picture. It felt like padding. Ditto with the sort of trees (why were they capitalised? or were they street names? there was no context). Jeffrey freaking her out, the guy waving, her feeling good about herself - they send the reader into a false sense of security and a misdirection before the discovery. The rest... not so much.

3) Finding the hand was just there. We have no concept of how she felt. This was pretty much all tell, no show. It felt muted. Even her thoughts (don't need to italicise "she thought") were the same as if she'd found a rotten apple.

So, there is a good story in here, it does need a thorough edit and some tightening up, in my opinion. Good luck going forward.


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10
10
Review of Flowers  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This was recommended to me, so I thought I'd give it a read.

I think you captured the feel of the song well, and you integrated the prompt lines well into the story. The story flowed and made sense, and the ending felt right - there was no definite closure, just the idea that closure was coming, and a hint of something with Jimmy.

A story that could have been sad, but felt more like there was hope.

Technically... There were quite a few missing pieces of punctuation, at least one homophone mix-up (their for there), and the PoV kept jumping from first to 3rd, especially at the end. A good edit is probably all it needs.

Still, I did enjoy the story, and thought you incorporated the song into it well. Good luck going forward.


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11
Review of Exhaustion  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This came up on 'Read & review' so here I am.

This is a brutally honest look at what you are going through mentally. The fatigue born of living life is something that people of any age can relate to. However, if you are a teenager, the weariness is increased because of internal growth changes, and the fact sleep patterns change and are not consistent.

It does get better.

Now, this is not a short story. This is an opinion piece, an op-ed. It is you talking about yourself (I assume from the "biographical" tag). In fact, it reads almost as prose poetry, focusing on the emotional aspect of the subject as it does.

Technically, a lot of missing commas and some run-on sentences; it does need a thorough edit.

Still, being this honest is difficult, and is really when writing comes at its best for some people. Good luck going forward.


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12
12
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


This is a pleasant memory, a nice vignette about a time long past. There is an unspoken sadness that maybe this was the last Christmas that was like that - why else that particular one? or am I reading more into this than its simplicity demands? - but that does make it feel like it has a depression about it that is only hinted by the current darkness of the place.

As you can tell, this story really made me think and add my own stuff to it, which shows you got into my head with it.

Well done, and good luck going forward.


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13
13
Review of Somewhere In Time  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
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An interesting story. Whether he is delusional or has a truth is left up in the air, though delusional seems most likely. The set up and final denouement are well done.

However, some story issues arise. Why cross the mountains? It could be a part of the delusion, but it does stand out.

And when we cut away from the man reading, using: "Sir..." he muttered... seems like that man who had been reading was doing the talking then. Just a phrase about him (a small man in ill-fitting suit muttered, for example) to differentiate who is who.

Technically, why are the paragraphs of what is read not separated by those below? Standard for multiple paragraph speech is use of more quotation marks as well. Plus the following:
had drag -> had dragged
did a discovery -> made a discovery
breaks on time -> brakes
This needs a thorough edit.

So a good concept, an interesting tale, just needs some work. Good luck going forward.


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14
14
Review of OOPS!  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This was an interesting way of presenting the lessons you have learnt about owning mistakes, through a series of vignettes where you had to learn a lesson the hard way. I really like the second-to-last paragraph as well ("Yes, making... wizened too."); that feels like a good summary of what you have presented here.

Technically, a few missing commas is about all I could find, something a thorough edit should clear up. Nice job.

I think the only thing I would change is the last paragraph. It doesn't fit. Why would not making mistakes matter in that regard? I would personally just get rid of it, and end with the one before. I might also mention how this has made you look at the mistakes of others, how compassionate you have become, or have you? Be interesting to see how accepting you are.

Still, a nice little piece about something we can all relate to - making mistakes. Good luck going forward.


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15
15
Review of Second death  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
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This poem, I think, encapsulates the fear of many creative types - that even our work will not be remembered after we're gone. And, yes, your metaphor is right - it is a second death.

With the poem, the second stanza feels weird, with the repat of memories and fading not actually enhancing the concept; it feels like repetition for the sake of repetition. Pages being burnt is an interesting metaphor, but what did you sacrifice? How does that relate to burning? And the word is "sacrifice", not "sacrafice." I get mis-spellings can be used for effect; this does not work.

So, there some things I did not quite get, but the idea and concept are very stong.

Good luck going forward.


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16
16
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This came up on 'Read & Review' so here I am.

Nice take on the old Gremlin story. Mentioning The Twilight Zone was a smart way to get people thinking about the tale. And then the reality... and Otis knowing. Makes for a lot of unanswered questions.

Technically, there were a few little things, but nothing a good edit won't clean up.

You utilised the flash fiction format well, with the right mix of show and tell to get the story across without it just being all tell.

So, a fresh look at an old trope. Well done, and good luck going forward.


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17
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Review of Inattentive ADD  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This is a conundrum many creative people go through - do I focus on what society tells me is important, or do I do the thing that comes from my imagination, do I do my art?

In this brief poem, you encapsulated that dilemma well, but you've also framed it in the scope of having ADD. I am not sure if this is based on reality, or your being upset created the concepts, but just know you are not alone in this.

Now, I read poetry out loud, and this had very much the feel of a poetry slam sort of poem, with the lines begging to be said in different tones. I am not sure if that was what you were aiming for, but it does work in that regard.

Still, I did enjoy this. Good luck going forward.


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18
18
Review of Seasonal Thoughts  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This was a strong nature poem in a form I had not come across before... and yet have personally used!

First, I really like your explanation of the monotetra form; thanks for explaining it. And you followed it really well - 8 syllables, mono-rhyme across both stanzas. Technically, for poetic form, it was spot-on.

As for content, it worked well. The two prompt words were incorporated seamlessly into a nature poem. Both stanzas made perfect sense.

This was well done. Good luck going forward.


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19
19
Review of path  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Short poem.

And yet what you have written here is something that rings very true.

It is almost an epigram, and is the sort of thing I can imagine being printed on a coffee mug or even a t-shirt.

Really well done, capturing that in so few words. And as for poetic form - fine. No complaints here at all.

Good luck going forward.


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Review of I'm Twenty One  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This came up on 'Read & Review' so here I am.

Fun little poem about being excited for something only to have it taken away.

I have to say, it's something I can't relate to - our drinking age is 18, 16 in home with your parents. Raising a drinking age to 25 feels insane to me.

But I like the way you have portrayed this in the poem. You have managed to keep a tone of lightness going, then it becomes darker, then surprised, just by word choice as well as subject matter.

I read poetry out loud, and this poem with its constant rhyme wanted to be almost sung, but a few lines were awkward because the syllable count changes disrupted the rhythm.

Still, fun poem; good luck going forward.


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21
21
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Interesting little conceit of the fourth wall break becoming central to what actually happens, and with one person only being able to hear what is going on until (I think) the end when they can see the narrator. The ending did bring up a smile.

Three things, though:
1) Technically, a lot of misused and missing punctuation. Needs a good edit.
2) For a film script (assuming it is for film considering the time jump and number of characters), the format of this does not conform to industry standards. Not even for a play, to be honest. For a start, there needs better separation between each of the individual characters, without even looking at how these things are usually produced.
3) The characters were interchangeable. None of them felt different from the others. Even Lee, who hears the narrator, doesn't feel different. Oh, and Lee and Leo are too close to one another for names. I know I was losing who was who. They need something about them to differentiate them from each other.

I said it brought me a smile, but I didn't find the script itself funny, just the concept. But that could well be personal, so it's nothing I am going to penalise you for here.

The idea is a strong one, and there is potential here. I think it could just do with some refining, and formatting to make it easier to follow.

Good luck going forward.


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22
22
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
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Okay, I get advertising your work here on WdC. I've done it often enough. I also get not wanting to give away spoilers and putting in an Amazon link is all fine and dandy.

However, I do think we, your potential readers, deserve a little more than you recreating the Amazon blurb here. How did you come to write it? Why should we read it? Who would you recommend it to? This is not really going to encourage people here - who are writers and readers themselves - to want to purchase your work.

And the categories you chose ('Ghost' is what made me open it up) are of the work in question, not the writing presented here.

You have such a great chance to get an audience for this, and I think you might have missed an opportunity.

Good luck going forward.


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23
23
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review' so here I am.

First... have been watching my ex-wife on a Friday after work?

You have captured that sense f desperation, of being delayed, of being disappointed, and then the final attainment of the goal so well in so few words. The sense of desperation was palpable in Sophie's desperate search, and then... glorious relief.

Technically, not an issue.

This was well-written and brought a smile to my face. Really well done, and good luck going forward.


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24
24
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


A curious little story about a man managing to save his job by being good at it. I like it when I don't see the endings of stories coming, and this was certainly that. I liked the human parasite aspect.

As a piece of flash, it worked well, show when show was needed, tell otherwise.

Technically it was fine, with a couple of missing capital letters and some punctuation, except this paragraph: He snorts alert and I ask, do you live here? Yes! he replies, flashing a broad grin. You have used direct speech elsewhere, and I think it is needed here as well.

Still, a fun story. Good luck going forward.


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25
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Review of Dear Me 2025  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


I was looking for something to review for your anniversary, and this stood out. Maybe it's because we have interacted on and off, and I wanted to know who you are a little.

I think you did a fine job in talking to yourself, and setting down your goals for the year. And those goals do seem achievable. If you've started novels, finishing one is realistic. All the rest are just matters of discipline (I know I struggle with that at times). And 15 minutes minimum of writing a day is what I recommend to those who do not do word counts.

I think the only thing that got me was the lack of an ending to the letter, a sign-off, if you will. Made it feel less like a letter to yourself and a contest entry. Something that simple can personalise things.

So, a strong letter and a good list of goals for the year. Good luck going foward.


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