I like how you add tension to the plot by adding things such as "No one knew how the boats got there" and "Ignoring her complaints".... The way you end the piece is nice as as well. It is a good piece of writing, I think that you have done a very good job.
Everything in this piece of writing shows the truth of our fascist government, it is unfortunate many others do not see it. The invasion of Iraq slaughtered thousands of innocent civilians. Look at the innocent, they are woman and children. They are not terrorists, they have a family like us and love them just like us, and like us they want them to live in peace without fear of death.
I like how you have a solid thesis statement in the beginning. You also do a good job explaining why people shop compulsively and how it affects their lives. I would only change the first sentence to fit for thesis statement better.
I like your work a lot. It shows how technology has become a normal thing in all of our lives, for the good and for the bad. It also shows how reliant we are on it, and if technology is not functioning correctly, our everyday live can be destroyed. This includes our job, etc.
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